my b/friend and i have been dating for 3 months he loves me alot i know that and i'm so inlove with him but yesterday he broke up with me saying he needs to focus on building himself and he was focusing everything on me, he still wanted 2 talk but i made it official by saying don't ever call cuz i don't ever wanna see him again....he didnt expect that though, i spoke to his mom an she told me that he is very frustrated and to give him some space, but he told her how much he loved me but jus needs some space cuz of frustration, what should i do, do you think that there is still hope for us....i'm really hurting and need some comfort, what should i do?
2006-08-23 04:12:39 · 27 answers · asked by Jessica Simpson 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
do not, i repeat, DO NOT in heavens name beg him to take you back. give him his space, let him find himself and if you're lucky, he'll realise he just can't live without you.
by the way, the clean break was a great move.. it hurts much less than him coming back now and again and you not knowing where you stand.
2006-08-23 04:18:50 · answer #1 · answered by chris19 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but if he is truly interested in a real relationship, he would not have broken it off, instead he should have found a way to explain to you what was going on. For the sake of the relationship, it should have been something that the two of you were able to discuss so that you could possibly support him, and give him more of what he thinks he needs.
At this point the situation is worse and there are going to be bigger problems, because of how you both reacted to eachother. So you can either sit down and discuss it with him, and make it clear to him that he needs to sit down and talk with you about what is going on so you can understand, or you can keep going and end the whole thing for good.
You need to consider what has been going on for the last 3 months, and really think about where it has been going. What else does he have going on in his life right now that is making him having a relationship with anyone such a difficult thing? You could also point out that if he wants support from you, turning away from you is not the way to do that because he is only going to hurt you needlessly and make the situation worse himself.
But whatever you do, good luck.
2006-08-23 04:24:51 · answer #2 · answered by saintlyinnocents 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does that saying go? "If you love something, let it go. If it is truly yours, it will come back." (If not, hunt it down and shoot it). Sorry, couldn't resist that last part. :)
Seriously, if he loves you as much as you say he does, then why would he need to break up to focus on building himself? If he loves you and wants to have a long term relationship, why wouldn't he include you in developing his focus since you would be a part of whatever happens?
Since you have only been dating 3 months, my personal feeling is that you don't know each other well enough yet. Give him some time and see what happens. It could be that things were getting too serious too fast for him and he needed to step back and take a look to see if you are the one for him. If you think there is still hope, you need to talk. That is the only way to know for sure.
2006-08-23 04:22:13 · answer #3 · answered by sirelmo60 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you think this is just a temporary thing stay in contact but in the same manner give him his space and if he really loves you so much he will realize that he does want to be with you right now. There are ways to prioritize he can build him self and be with you it's just a matter of whether he wants to do that or not. Maybe he needs someone to talk to that will help him and give him advice on how to maintain a relationship and be able to do other things to. He needs to realize that in a relationship its not necessary to spend all time and effort on the person, you need to also have an outside life or your relationship will fall apart because the person begins to feel to controlled.
2006-08-23 04:19:43 · answer #4 · answered by travelgrl85 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself some space too. If you think about it, what if in the future he does it again and again. Make sure you are up to being put off when he wants and be available when he wants. The decision is yours to make but maybe friends for now would be a good idea until he knows what he really wants and it will give you the time to step back and see if you really want to be on this roller coaster. Believe me you will have many loves in your life and some aren't worth the trouble.
2006-08-23 04:19:36 · answer #5 · answered by konfusedkathy2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is tough. Usually when a guy needs space its because there is another girl. He's probably trying to find out who he wants to be with. Did he just get out of a serious relationship? He may be talking to his ex again and trying to figure out who he wants to be with. Or he maybe just met someone the same time he met you? The other thing is he may be used to being single and if thats the case then you may just want to give him space, but that if he has been single for a long time or most his life.
2006-08-23 04:18:48 · answer #6 · answered by JASUFER 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should wait for him. My boyfriend just broke up with me for the same reason. I'm just giving him some space. Keep talking to him and be a really good friend. Help him work out his problems... if he lets you if not just be there for him. In a couple of months maybe you two would feel that you should go out with him! Hopefully everything goes good. The BEST of luck!
2006-08-23 04:19:57 · answer #7 · answered by lilmisspearson13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you need to give him some space. Let him come to you but let him know that he can come to you. Sometimes people lose themselves in a relationship and need some time away from it. It's normal. Lean on your friends and family for comfort because doing it alone isn't healthy. Things will fall back into place you just need to be patient, and apologize to him about the not being aloud to call you.
2006-08-23 04:19:57 · answer #8 · answered by PB&J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YO WHY DID U TELL HIM THAT
dumb move
look at what he is doing
u should admire him cuz atleast he has a good head on his shoulders
he loves you obviously
but he has a life too and he feels that he is messing up
so he s askin for space only space
he could have been selfish and just drag u along a ride that wasnt meant for both of u
he is trying to gather himself and see what can happen
be there for him and watch things improve
email if u have any questions peterfl999@yahoo.com
2006-08-23 04:19:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok 3 months is not that long!!! you may luv eachother but LOVE is the question. if he truly LOVES you he is going to want and need your help in all his problems. he will want to keep you close even when mad at you. give him some space and think before you speak. when your hurt you say things you dont mean so find out whats really bugging him. maybe he is like moast guys and is completly scared of the thought of being in love and completly connection and opening up to someone. when your in love your completly exposed with no protection for your heart. give him space for 3 days dont talk dont blow up his phone or call his mother. after 3 days of no contact go to him and ask to talk if he says no then move on cuz he is not worth it. if he wants to try then talk dont yell dont get defensive just listen and talk.........
2006-08-23 04:29:58 · answer #10 · answered by TEMPTRESS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that i know it hurts , but if you really love him like you say you do just give him some space and be there for him when he needs you ...
And maybe you guys should take a long walk alone and talk it over , what went wrong and what you guys could do to make it work..
Good luck girl!!
2006-08-23 04:27:12 · answer #11 · answered by ELEN G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋