my boyfriend has been talking about suprising me with an engagement ring for nearly two years! we are making other plans like stopping our contraception to try for a baby and moving to a bigger house but this is something i thought was really important to us both, should i bite the bullett and ask him myself as i can't wait another 2 years
2006-08-23 03:44:10 · 22 answers · asked by Sarah A 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You can't "get" him to do something that he doesn't want to do and expect good results. You don't want the "you pressured me" argument later in life if things go south. You *can* however say that you won't have a baby until you are married and settled and that when you buy a larger house, you want it to be as a married couple. Tell him you aren't going to wait forever and continue to be boyfriend/girlfriend. If he can't make the committment, then the two of you need to address why and then go from there.
Good luck to you. : )
2006-08-23 07:50:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to sit your boyfriend down and talk to him about how you are feeling. Tell him that you love him, but you have waited 2 years for a proposal and you're having your doubts about whether or not he really wants to marry you this lifetime. Let him know that you have been patient and it's not about the size of the rock, but about the commitment. You want to share your life with him and the last 2 years have been great together but you really need take it further and tell God and country he's your man! You're talking about having a child and buying a bigger house. He's not committment shy. He's just dragging his feet for some reason and you need to find out why. Just make sure he knows how you feel and you're ready to be surprised! Hope all goes well!
2006-08-23 05:03:44 · answer #2 · answered by Cassiopeia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may need to review your relationship. If the man is commitment shy and not on your same timetable to get engaged then I would view this as a warning sign. He may not be the right guy for you. Where is the compatability in your relationship. A two year waiting period seems a quiet shout out that he is not looking to get married. Why bother; he has all the enjoyment [sex] a marrige offers now.
2006-08-23 04:02:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? If you are over 30, go for it.
Don't get pregnant before a commitment. that is a big no-no. If he has already talked about "a surprise" engagment then he is going to do it sooner or later.
Next time that he talks about having a baby, be VERY CLEAR by telling him that that won't happen unless you have a commitment other that promises and words. Talk is cheap, he needs to produce a ring before asking for an offspring.
Good luck
2006-08-23 03:49:36 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Boy if only I could be in YOUR shoes right now. ha. I've been married twice sweetie and let me tell you, trying to get a man to marry you isn't the answer. You want a man who WANTS to be married to you. Don't push him! I personally think having a baby and moving into a bigger house is so nice but marriage often seems to put the damper into things and so many marriages end in divorce today. I'd take what came my way and be happy for it. My BF and I are now ttc but he doesn't want a child out of wedlock. Im not that big on marriage myself and could care less right now if marriage was in the picture. He says one without the other just isn't happening for him. Give your BF time and just enjoy what you have. Pushing will only make your mate resentful. It's not worth that either esp if you really love him and want to be married to him too.
2006-08-23 04:13:44 · answer #5 · answered by sweetypie9 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't GET your boyfriend to propose, you do 1 of 2 things, either a.) wait for him, he'll do it when he's ready, or b.) do it yourself. I would wait until I was married before having a baby though, but that's me. If he's not willing to make the commitment of marriage to you, what guarantee do you have that he's willing to make the commitment of being a father to your child to you? Best of luck to you.
2006-08-23 05:24:17 · answer #6 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Why are you in a hurry to get married?
2) YOU propose. If you don't want to wait and he's not getting on the ball, then YOU propose. It's not terrible.
If you are REALLY wanting him to propose, then tell him to propose. Tell him that you're ready for a ring. Ask him how long he needs to have as a bachelor before there can be ring.
2006-08-23 03:50:35 · answer #7 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If i were you i would get married before having the baby. He might tell you after the new house and the baby that there is no more money left for a wedding. Don't you want a commitment before a baby?
2006-08-23 03:52:42 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ missing a soldier in Iraq ♥ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No marriage, no baby. It was designed that way for a reason.
He'll either ask or he won't. Then you'll know how important you really are to him.
He may be like alot of women, want the baby not the partner.
2006-08-23 04:03:30 · answer #9 · answered by weddrev 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just get married before children. Until you are stay on the pill. No commitment, no child.
Other than that, asking his is totally up to you. It's not my personal taste (call my old-fashioned), but whatever works for you.
2006-08-23 03:58:58 · answer #10 · answered by Laura 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋