I am almost 6 weeks pregnant, i take care of my husbands brother who has a mental disability and i just turned 26 yesturday. My hubby forgot my birthday!
My head is turning from all the crying ( i am sensitive cause i am pregnant i guess). I feel so hurt. When my hubby got home from work yesterday i had dinner ready, i dset the table and even bought my self my own birthday cake. usually my hubby is the sweetest person, but when he realized he forgot he got mad at me and tried to make it seem like it was my fault that he forgot! I dont understand why he couldnt just apologize to me and try to make it up, instead he ignored me all night while i cried and didnt even bother to sing happy birthday to me or cut the cake.
So my question is should i be mad at him? if so, how long? what should i do? how should i act around him? should i even talk to him, answer his calls?
If i dont allow him to know that i am really hurt he will always be this way
2006-08-23 02:50:24 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sorry i meant to say i was 6 MONTHS pregnant, not 6 weeks
2006-08-23 03:02:08 · update #1
Tell him how bad it really hurt you , and hopefully he will do something very special for you !!! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY !!! Sorry it wasn't better for you !!
2006-08-23 02:53:32 · answer #1 · answered by MARY B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you even in doubt if you should be mad?
1. He forgot your birthday.
2. He got mad for no good reason.
3. He ignored you.
Wait for him to come to his senses and apologize, then you can forgive and forget. I'm guessing that this is your first major fight. Answer his calls, but be blunt and to the point, don't let him ramble on about his life when he is so obviously unconcerned about your feelings.
YOU ARE CARRYING HIS CHILD!
He should be happy that you are. He should be thankful that you did all that work on your day, and all you wanted from him was a lousy "Happy Birthday". AND you take care of his disabled brother!
Let him know that you are over sensitive because of the baby. You need to remind him that you have just as of important role as he does. Would he want you to forget HIS birthday?
2006-08-23 10:00:02 · answer #2 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't ask other people how long you should stay mad. That is totally up to you and how you feel about it. I would be hurt too. He is a man and sometimes it is hard for them to just apoligize, but that's no excuse for him to behave that way. I would act the way I feel if I were you. If you are hurt, don't pretend that you aren't just to make him happy. It will all eventually blow over, but you don't want him to think that was he did was okay. You don't want him to think he can do this again next year. He needs to understand how he hurt you and it doesn't seem like he is getting it right away so it may take some time. Stick to your guns though- it was your birthday!
2006-08-23 09:56:37 · answer #3 · answered by deesjeeper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We cant tell you how to act or how to feel.. If you're upset then you are. No one can say to you be angry and for how long.
Next time, give the guy a heads up.
Give him a little reminder beforehand.
Just because he forgot doesnt mean he doesnt love you. It simply means he forgot.
Although, you did not forget and did not mention it, so was it some kind of test to see if he could remember all by himself? Unfortunately, life happens, people get busy and have their mind on other things. He should of handled it better, but maybe you should of too. Next time dont put that kind of pressure on someone.
2006-08-23 10:05:07 · answer #4 · answered by ironica7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does getting mad at him do? Does it make anything at home any better? NO. Anger doens't solve anything. MAYBE he had a really bad day at work, maybe life has been really stressful for him, and MAYBE he thought you might remind him,. Yes, his anger at you was misguided, but maybe he is just as stressed out as you are.
And to be honest... putting out your own birthday cake in front of him when you knew he forgot, was pretty rude. it was like saying "I know you are too stupid to remember, so i did this for you"
Guys don't remember dates. THEY DON"T. It's ONLY one day out of the year, I don't know why everyone makes birthdays such a huge deal. You should be treated well 365 days of the year, not just on one.
And think one more time about what good it will do to be angry at him and to "punish" him? What do you gain from it? More stress and anxiety, which is not good for you and the baby.
2006-08-23 09:55:01 · answer #5 · answered by KB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't begin to understand how much this must have hurt. Please remember that no man MEANS to forget his wife's birthday, but he did. If he's calling you I would imagine that he is trying to make amends. You two really need to talk.
It has been said that communication is the key two a good and lasting relationship and you need to let him know, write a letter if you need to. Always bear in mind your child he/she really needs to be considered.
If he's an ounce of sense he wont do it again. If he really is the sweetest guy like you said, he wont anyway.
2006-08-23 10:00:48 · answer #6 · answered by grahamknighton 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats the point in being mad at him...its your birthday yes...but its not like he didnt turn up for your wedding or something like that.... you'll have lots more birthdays...hes probably mad at himself for forgetting ...and then having to see how upset its made you too ... especially if you were crying all the time ....he must have felt as awful as you did...im sure he knows he did wrong ...but its really not the end of the world... and if he feels so bad and this is the first time hes done it ...cut him a little slack.... and see if he does anything to make it up to you.... he probably doesnt know how to deal with it ...just explain ...it pissed u off ...and THIS time you'll understand ...but hes got a year to make sure he doesnt screw it up again ..and move on ...im sure he wont forget in a hurry again.... just remember men dont seem to place as much importance on the same things we do ...and forgetting birthdays doesnt mean they dont love or think of you.... its just that they dont THINK that much lol but belated happy birthday anyway... and kiss and make up ...lifes too short...
2006-08-23 10:03:30 · answer #7 · answered by she wolf. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh i'm so sorry that must have been awful,Happy birthday from me!That is really is nasty,tell hi how much that really hurt you and it was the worst feeling in the world especially after all you do for his brother!
Ps forget his next birthday!!
2006-08-23 10:16:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell HIM how you feel. You are the one that feel hurt. When you are angry, this affects the baby also. I almost 100% sure that neither one of you want anything to happen to the baby, right? So the two of you need to sit down and talk it out and he'll make it up to you. Happy (Belated) Birthday!
2006-08-23 10:11:23 · answer #9 · answered by fran12112000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk this out with your husband.Do not sulk. Re-establish communication.Let him know that you are hurt.Let him know how much he menans to you and he will soon realise that he has hurt you and he will make up.Try and understand what he is going through at work.Possibily he has his own stress which he has not shared with you.Don't stay mad.If you don't want to talk just yet -send him a e- mail or post a note by his bed side.
2006-08-23 10:07:27 · answer #10 · answered by paratrooper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would tell him point blank I need time to myself. Dont do his laundry or dishes or anything for a few weeks, Maybe even stay at your parents if you can, or a siblings house. Till he decides hes sorry for treating you like that. Forgetting a birthday is understandable and forgivable. But for getting mad at you and making if feel like you fault is wrong. I would be mad at him for not being a gentle men and making it up to you.
2006-08-23 09:54:37 · answer #11 · answered by cats4ever2k1 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋