but he said it was my fault because i dont give him enough attention i dont understand it i dont work because he doesnt want me too and i do everything for him im practally his slave. he told me to forget about her and we will just go ahead and get married what do i do
2006-08-23 02:26:23 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
NO. Stop.
I have been in a similar situation.
This is MENTAL & EMOTIONAL ABUSE. No bones about it.
This is just a starting point. It only gets worse. Mine went downhill past this point to physical abuse.
He cannot blame you for his cheating. He CHOSE to cheat. No matter what you did. If he wanted to, he could have broken it off with you and persued this other girl.
How do you know it's really over? Will you be able to trust him again? No.
Break it off before it gets worse. Let him know that it's HIS fault that he cheated, and therefore, it's his fault you are breaking it off.
If you stay with him he will be getting EXACTLY what he wants. He can have his cake and eat it too.
2006-08-23 03:30:45 · answer #1 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT MARRY HIM!!! Once a cheater, always a cheater. This is something you wont be able to forget because He will do this again. Its part of a persons personality, its a trait and it doesnt go away. I'll bet he has cheated in previous relationships. Next time you start talking to a guy, Find out if he has ever cheated on anyone... if the answer is YES... then DONT Date him... its SO Simple. I've never dated a guy who has cheated in the past, and I've never been cheated on. But please realize that you can do better, and move on. Even if it hurts, even if you KNOW what pain you'll go through, THIS pain is so much easier than feeling like a failure at a marriage.
2006-08-23 09:30:24 · answer #2 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you go ahead a marry this man, you are being foolish.
If he wanted more attention from you, I'm sure he could have said the words, "I want more attention from you" Instead, he CHOSE to go elsewhere. He's controlling you without you being all that aware of it.
And why wouldn't he want to marry you? You do everything for him! He's a narcissistic, little boy.
If he can do this while engaged, imagine what he thinks he can do once he's got you 'bound' to him. Forget about her & get married? He's playing on your good heart. He has no respect for you. And where there is no respect there can be no love.
Forgive him, & walk away. Find someone who is worthy of your affection.
2006-08-23 09:36:04 · answer #3 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!! Of course he going to say it's YOUR fault- every controlling manipulative man uses this tactic to pass the blame on to someone else and take away from his own wrongdoings. Classic move. Bottom line- if he truly loved you and something was bothering him, he would have/should have talked to you about it, not run off with someone else behind your back. I don't care what anyone says about "making mistakes"- if you really love someone, you do not ever do that kind of thing that would hurt the person you supposedly love!! (P.S. It sounds like he is controlling you now...if you marry him, if will get 100X worse and will inevitably lead to mental and/or physical abuse. I have a friend who's husband controls her every move and I recently found out he was hitting her while she's 8 months pregnant. It's NOT worth it!!)
2006-08-23 09:38:37 · answer #4 · answered by melody71081 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to dump him. In no way was it your fault. He's just trying to make him self feel better about it by blaming it on you. Do not marry him, he sounds like he's not a good person. And if you do marry him things will not change. You shouldn't have to worry about if your husband is cheating on you or not. TRUST is the base of any and all relationships!
2006-08-23 09:35:08 · answer #5 · answered by Nell ' amore 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry him! I know what he says that he loves you, but how could he have done that to you if he REALLY did?? Think about it before you make a decision. He just said to forget about it and to just go ahead with the marriage. Odds are.. you aren't going to forget about it. Do you really want to marry a man who cheated on you and then spend everday of your marriage wondering if he is still cheating on you with someone else???
2006-08-23 09:40:08 · answer #6 · answered by kat81886 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump em...theres ton of guys out there that will treat you right and not cheat on you and want to marry you! you deserve better! You dont want to get into a marriage and end up in a divorce with a bunch of kids later on cause he will cheat on you again! Good Luck, be strong, and PEACE!
2006-08-23 09:31:43 · answer #7 · answered by sublime7912003 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One a cheat, always a cheat! Don't give in, get away! I lived in a mess like that for 13 years, finally got away and stopped being his mommy (slave)! I am much happier now and found a man that appreciates me and is 100% man! So sorry you are having to deal wiht such a horrible mess.
2006-08-26 09:51:54 · answer #8 · answered by KatheeVonE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I dont think you should marry him, once a cheater always a cheater....Its not your fault that he cheated dont let him make you feel like its your fault, it was his choice.Guys like that dont deserve a fiancee who treats him like a King...Forget about him and get someone who treats you how you want to be treated =)
2006-08-23 09:35:19 · answer #9 · answered by sexiii_italiana 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE! - Once a cheater always one. No one can blame you for it, he was the one who acted on his thoughts. You need to ask yourself if you are really happy. I think that there are plenty of other men who would treat you with so much more respect than that. YOu know what is right, now just like him you have to decide whether to act on your thoughts or not. He did, so should you!
2006-08-23 10:35:41 · answer #10 · answered by Bena the bean 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋