Please help?

Question

My sister lives with her boyfriend at boyfriend's mother's house,while they await a council place;boyfriend is a druggie.They have a 14-month-old girl who is lovely.I'm worried about her welfare though.I suspect my sister is taking some form of drugs,and I'm very worried.They owe loads of money to debt agencies.What should I do?

my sister sometimes mysteriously dumps the little one at my parents house and disappears for 1 or 2 hrs.

the b/f's family are well known druggies

by "druggie",I mean heroin/coke,possibly even crack.

also,she seems very slow to react when the baby falls over or has an accident.

Answer 1

What does your own mother think? Have you spoken with your sister about it? I think for the sake of your niece you need to do something. Go to Social Services and explain everything, they may be able to give her some sort of support but if she doesn't want their help then they may take the child away. Maybe you should talk to the rest of your family to see what can be done. It is a horrible situation.

Answer 2

This is a tricky situation and you need to tread carefully.

By "druggie" I'm assuming you mean something more than cannabis, so I'm basing my answer on that.

Firstly, you may wish to speak to the boyfriend's mother (are they doing the drugs in her house?) and tell her. This may provide the necessary kick up the **** they need to take a cold hard look at themselves and the fact that they have a child to provide for and ensure is in a safe environment at all times. We don't want small children ingesting even the tiniest amounts of narcotics - death could swiftly follow, as will prison sentences for all involved. Secondly, we don't want small children in an environment where parents don't have all their mental faculties firing properly - that's when neglect and accidents happen. If you take a child to hospital or call an ambulance with an injury when you're obviously off your face three things happen - child gets treated, the police get called, and social services will probably take the child into care. This *will* happen - explain that to them.

Oh, and the council will inevitably be informed, so no council house, and with bad debts, no chance of buying a house / renting.

By involving yourself in the situation you're not going to be popular, be prepared for that, but I personaly think, if for noone else you do so for the sake of the child. If you are generally worried for the safety of the child, and it's feasible, get the mother to kick the two out on the streets and take parental responsibilty for the child herself - once homeless (she'd need to tell the council) they'll get accommodation very quickly - probably the same day in a B&B. If not, you're going to have to *anonymously* tell the Social Services yourself.

It's not nice I know, but you sound like you genuinely care.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

I had this same problem with my mother. I was 18 and my parents adopted a baby. When she was 15 months old my mom got hooked on pills and picked at her skin and there were bumps and sores and she swore there were worms crawling on her. I did nothing at first then she said the baby had them coming out of here nose and ears. I started to worry. Then my mom hoped in a bath with bleach one day and I took her and the baby to the ER, and It broke my heart. They had to run all these tests and put a catheor in my sister. She wouldnt even go to my mom. She would scream and distance herself. I had a follow up appt a couple of days later and the doctor told me my mom couldnt have her back untill cps came so I had to take her or they were gonna put her in a home. I had to stand up for her because she was so little and she couldnt do it herself. I pretty much told my mom if she didnt change I was through. She was gonna loose everything and everyone. It was the hardest thing to do. I love my mom but Drugs are a serious problem and I wasnt gonna stand there and maybe my mom wouldve actually hurt her because of the drugs. What would I have said for the rest of my life. I knew but turned my back. Things worked out my mom promised and we had a long talk and a long cry. it has been a year and things are going we'll. i know its a hard decision but nobody can make it for you. I hope you find the answers.

Answer 4

contact social services. you will need read evidence and if you know when they are high, that is a good time to call the police. Call social services and ask them what you can do. If they take the child, your sis will never be able to know you called, you can ask them to keep it confidential. Can you or your parents adopt the child? If you know that the kid is being droped off at your parents house, maybe it is a good time to call b/c the cops can show up and see the parents state. This can all be done in confidence if you want it to. You will be doing a service for the child, your sister and her boyfriend. You will be doing a positive thing for everyone inolved in the mess. It way be hard b/c it's family and your parents would not call social services etc. etc. but parents get weak and do not see things for what they are w/their own children. You need to stand up and try to get this kid the best life she can have (and it is not w/drug parents. Take care, be strong.

Answer 5

Stay calm and don't rush into anything.
You already have enough answers to sort through but stay away from authority for as long as you can.
I say this as their powers are not always used with sympathy
in mind and they can be very narrow.
Often just one question can involve many people and the result is always in accordance to the law.

I don't know how old you are so I will put it another way.
They cannot help your misery. They can only use the law.

Just be there for you sister when she is desperate.
From what you say she will certainly need your help.

Best wishes

Answer 6

Your use of the word druggie is a bit vauge. Is he a heroin addict or an ocasional user? Neither of which are right but social services would treat them very differently.

Speak to ur sister first or all, find out the script.

Answer 7

go to your social work dep. and voice your concerns, they cant not take action. you could also go to your local gp who knows your sister and her situation and ask for a letter of opinion, give that to the social worker involved. if shes getting a council house she'll definetly have a social worker.
you might not be able to sort the situation totally but they'll have to keep an eye on the child if you report it. good luck i hope you get some where, and the childs ok.

Answer 8

would you be prepared to help with the child if she was taken away from these people? If yes you should call social services now, dont wait till tomorrow, get that child out of there and give her the love and attention that she deserves. How would you feel if the child was hurt and you knew you did nothing to stop it? Help the child. It might be the kick up the backside your sister needs.

Answer 9

Just how worried are you? If you're worried enough, than you need to contact your local law enforcement and your local social services agency. The only question here is whether you are concerned enough for the childs welfare to make some tough choices concerning your life and your family relationships.

Answer 10

If you have a genuine concern about the child you must contact your local social services department. They will take record of your report and act on it accordingly. If you want to remain anonymous this is your right, obviously with it being family it might cause a difficult situation if it was found out you reported them.