One of my friends has been going out with this guy for some time now and he always seems to get her in trouble. I recently found out he is married and has a young daughter and I tried to convince my friend that she's wrong to go on with the relationship but she doesn't want to end it. When I talk to her she says I'm right and she understands that it's wrong to keep seeing him but she just can't leave him. She says she doesn't love him but that she is terrified of being alone again. Is there anything more I can do for her?
2006-08-22 20:43:26 · 37 answers · asked by Scooby 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm not trying to stick my nose where it doesn't belong but every time something goes wrong between them (and that happens often) she comes to me for advice.
2006-08-22 20:50:54 · update #1
Sadly .. you told her the truth and she needs to be the one to leave the relationship. No amount of proof, screaming or pushing on your end will get her to leave the relationship. Just be a friend, when her world comes crashing down because she will need the support system.
Hugs Mel
2006-08-22 20:45:37 · answer #1 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No because she is going to have to want to leave him on her own. Like the old saying goes, you can lead the horse to water but you can't make him drink. In other words you can keep telling her about this guy but she would have to see the outcome for herself. And if she fears being alone then that my dear is insecurity on her part and she needs to get out of that insecurity state like right now or else she will always be looking for love in all the wrong places which is not good at all.
2006-08-22 20:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by kintrell_olia_wright 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a good thing she recognize and realize that the guy is no good for her. If she's terrified of being alone, be with her, that's the best that you can do to save her from that man. A girl in distress needs a friend to constantly assure her that a really good man awaits for her. All she has to do is be a strong person that she is, continue believing in the power of true love, as well as continue trusting your friendship.
2006-08-22 21:04:02 · answer #3 · answered by jen_good girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just answered a similar question about a day ago. Its hard for everyone to tell you what you should do because there is no right answer to this question. You can tell her how you feel about her dating him and that you are worried about her but be very careful because she might think that you are jealous or tell you that move away its not your business. Basically all you can do is tell your friend how you feel about him and let her know that you are worried she is dating this guy who gets her in trouble all the time. Eventually your friend will realize what she is doing and dump him. You have to show your friend the right path but she is the one who has to walk through it.
2006-08-22 20:55:37 · answer #4 · answered by Best_Answer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't a lot more you can do for her, not unlss she wants to follow your advice. Maybe you could explain to her that many women who hung on to married men because they didn't want to be alone again actually ended up alone anyway because when it comes to a choice between the rightful spouse and kids and the mistress ... The mistress always ends up dished or kept aside with no visits, no love simply because it's not convenient for the man. A family member was in this predicament, she ended up wasting her life for one married man who didn't give a dam about her, only saw her when it suited him (Never when it suited her). She ended up in hospital, after trying to take her own life. Thing is she adored the man who promised her all sorts and in fact ... Dumped her when it became clear to his wife that he was seeing someome. When this situation happens ... Your friend will have lost, not only him but her self-esteem as well. You can talk to her but you know ... It's really up to her to decide to dump him!
Maybe you could explain that, to him, she's an easy lay! Knowing he's married, thus he doesn't feel all that much about her and while she hangs on to be with him ... She misses on a lot of opportunities, single males who could well turn out to be there for her, love her and actually want more than an affair on their own terms (Have to suit his family life you see) so really ... But full time status in her life.
I can imagine how hard it is to break up but after the family member i mentonned (And no it wasn't me) ... I would say that affairs always end up badly,, the mistress comes off worse than the man does so please be careful!
2006-08-22 20:52:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, sorry to tell you this. But there is nothing you can do until she decides for herself that what she is doing is wrong. Then only thing that you can do as a friend is to be there for her when her world comes crashing down. As obviously it is going to happen sooner or later. If you really want to meddle in the thing then find her another man, or take her clubbing so that she can see that there is more than one man on this earth that is willing on giving her the world if she wants it.
2006-08-22 20:47:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to stay by her side, and tell her that there is nothing wrong with being single. This guy is obviously no good for her, and she needs to come to grips with that fact. Reassure her that she wont be "alone" because she has you, and God. You and your friend can plan the breakup, when she's made up her mind, so she can be prepared for anything he may throw at her to try to change her decision. Remember, they NEVER leave their wives.
2006-08-22 20:57:49 · answer #7 · answered by phatprincess592 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What CAN you do? She is making her own mistakes and will learn from them. Hopefully! If you see a child reach for a hot pot on the stove you try to stop them, right. But think of it this way: when you pull the child's hand away it prevents them from this learning experience. You're not her parent yet it's so hard to watch. And what happiness will come if he leaves his wife and child for your friend, and what Karma?
My advice: Pull back, my friend, nothing you can do or say will change her energy. Pull back.
2006-08-22 20:54:28 · answer #8 · answered by Freesumpin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have answered your question. Your friend is addicted to him and also she feels terrrified of being alone.
Her attention needs to be diverted, if you know someone who loves her or likes her, then introduce him to her. Make them go for a dinner and make some excuses, so that she can't say no to you.
Maybe she will fall in love with some other person and forgets her past.
2006-08-22 20:48:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing more you can do for her . She needs to realize for herself that being with this guy is getting her no where and that she can meet someone that she can love and that will love her just as much... Maybe she has been hurt in the past by a guy and she feels as long as she is in this situation she wont get hurt again
2006-08-22 20:48:24 · answer #10 · answered by melthule 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋