why but her body just started shutting down. It was very sudden. During the coma it became fairly clear that her brain was basically "dying" and it was only a matter of time before her heart and lungs failed. We were asked about a DNR (she had no living will) I said to make her DNR, my grandmother disagreed. Legally it came down to being my choice and I chose to sign the DNR. The doctors said there was no chance of recovery and that a heart lung machine would just prolong the inevitable. She passed 2 days later with me at her side. My grandmother now says I killed her. She is so mean to me that I can hardly stand it. I wasnt even allowed to grieve properly at the funeral because of this. I grew up my whole life in a home being raised by my mother and grandmother. Now my mother is gone and my grandmother can hardly look at me. I want my kids to still be a part of her life and she wants to be with them also. She is good to them and they love her. How can I get past my hurt?
2006-08-22 20:36:01 · 11 answers · asked by PrincssSarah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First I am so sorry to hear about your loss. But there is a process in grieving and unfortunately part of the process is anger. Your grandma is just angry right now. Its hard to bury a child. I am sure everything will be fine eventually let the processes take their course. Shock denial anger and then resolution. I hope this helps. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
2006-08-22 20:42:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about the loss of your dear mother. Every loss is painful. There are some questions for which we can not find an answer. It will take some time for you to come to grips with this reality. But, you will certainly be able to face the situation with the help of God. Do not take to heart your grandma's reaction. She too is at a loss. She will gradually turn to you for comfort and help. Let your children be her consolation now. May God will fill in the void and make Himself real to you in these days of grief.
2006-08-23 04:08:30 · answer #2 · answered by lalskii 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do beleive the your mother knew that your grandmother would come to step up to the plate and I am sure there were other things wrong with her that she never told you . And I am sure she had family die around her that she talked about when she was home.
and she did her job! that was to raise her kids and keep them safe till they leave the house or old enough to fend for themselves.
now it is your turn to do the same job and do the same and you might have more tasks to do in your life time I think of it that way like my dad died in 2002 I walked in the kitchedn and found him dead not more then 1 hour after talking to him. he had a heart attack but I just said rest in peace dad I know you was on loan to me and you done your job here on earth now you can go for your reward in heaven and be with god and your mother and father he was 84 years old.
2006-08-23 03:56:12 · answer #3 · answered by Paul G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time and space. There is no right answer in this situation - there is only what you think is best. Sooner or later, your grandmother will understand how much pressure you had on you. Until then, I would tell your grandmother exactly what you told us. I know I wouldn't want my children around someone who had so much anger and fustration. Maybe a cool off period would be good for everyone.
2006-08-23 03:41:39 · answer #4 · answered by Christopher B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I know the difficulty in losing a parent and my heart goes out to you and your family. You made the right decision. And as difficult as it was for your grandmother you had to make the best decision for your mother. Do what you can to help her grieve. Take care of yourself and the remainder of your family God bless.
2006-08-23 03:46:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just wanted to say I am sooo sorry for your loss and the situation you were placed in. Maybe you can request for your mothers records and have another doctor look over them. In the mean time, it will take time as well as support.
Hugs - Mel (mommy to a angel)
2006-08-23 03:41:23 · answer #6 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people have differnt ways in which they grieve.. when we lose a loved one we all want someone to blame ... It takes time coming to terms with the loss, u are all hurting in different ways.. keep talking and hopefully u and ur grandmother will come together again...
2006-08-23 03:47:08 · answer #7 · answered by voddielots 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. I guess your grandma is trying to hide her hurt by being angry with you. Just give her some time, I'm sure she will snap out of it.
2006-08-23 05:14:06 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im so sorry for your moms loss i recently lost my grandma about 1 month and a half ago and it hurts really bad to lose someone, im sorry i didnt answer your question but im just saying sorry, have a great life,and your mom will always be with u take care.
2006-08-23 03:42:41 · answer #9 · answered by ... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's really hard.
a choice had to be made and sadly, you were the one to blame for that. very sorry for that.
2006-08-23 03:45:35 · answer #10 · answered by fakemoonlandings 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋