I am a free spirited, independent woman. I don't care if I stay single, but if I meet the right guy it will be wonderful. I would rather be independent and happy, then to be with the wrong guy. Do other women feel the same way?
2006-08-22 19:25:37 · 14 answers · asked by ♥♥I am single♥♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Absolutely! I didn't marry until I was 30 (the first time). I had almost 15 years of being on my own. I'm an only child, and I always enjoyed living by myself, something I did whenever possible. More than once I worked a second job just so that I afford to pay rent, etc. by myself. I was married, then got divorced when I was 34. By then I had bought my own house (nothing fancy, social work doesn't pay a lot), but I loved it and loved the pride I felt in myself for being willing and able to to work hard just to make a 'home' for myself. When I was 36 I met my current husband. He was also recently divorced, also owned his own little house, also did social work and also made no bones about the fact that he very much enjoyed the time he spent by himself. I remember telling him early on in the relationship that I wasn't sure I ever wanted to actually live in the same house with anyone else again. He told me the same about himself. None of it was said in anger or out of being so 'damaged' that we just weren't willing to take any more chances. We both said it and meant it because we were happy with our lives the way they were. We were married a year later, and, yes we do live in the same house and it's wonderful. We both have a lot of respect each other's personal space, etc. I think that some people are intimidated when the person they are with says that they want to be alone. Instead of hearing 'my lover needs to go recharge, reconnect, reground" whatever, they instead hear 'my lover doesn't want to be with me." It's a shame, really. I find it totally sexy that I know my husband is with me because he likes being around me, not because he is afraid to be alone. Each day that we spend together is made a little more special by the feeling that, though my husband could have been perfectly happy living his days alone in his house indulging in one or another of his various hobbies, visiting friends, traveling, etc. - well it just makes me feel very special and very fortunate when, each day, I know he is choosing again and again to share his life and his time, both of which he values, with me. I know I make the same decision each day regarding him, as well. Since I'm not afraid to be alone and not afraid that I'm somehow not equiped to take full care and responsibility for myself, since neither of us are operating out of fear, we harbor almost no resentment or regrets, we don't blame each other for what we each are or aren't becoming. we don't feel trapped or encroached on by each other. We are just continuing to live our lives now, together, in pretty much the same way we lived our lives before we met. It is really an amazing gift I've been given, to find a person who actually wants to celebrate, with me, the independant, as yet unfinished, messy, happy, frightening, absurd, constantly changing freak art project I've created out of my life. And so willing is he to celebrate my life with me that he happiy brings whatever decorations or music or laughter or gifts he can think of to help ensure my success...including occasional offers to vacate the house or send me on vacation alone when I'm looking a little "full" of life and other people or on vacation with a girlfriend when maybe he thinkgs I'm looking a little 'full' of him. I don't know, I just think that if you don't believe that the time you spend with yourself is a valuable and precious thing, something to be protected and cherished, well, then the gifts you have to offer will remain, to a degree, invisible and undervalued. You can't expect another person to hold what you have to offer in yourself in any higher regard or find it to be any more precious when they receive it than it was the day it it left the factory you created it in.
2006-08-22 21:25:32 · answer #1 · answered by Tracey H 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lady,
The world is too busy with other maladies which they consider tragedies. It has no time for a single lady who thinks all men are a potential risk to life and limb. It wouldnt matter to the world wether or not you marry. neither would it make a difference to your own family I guess.
Your independence is purely a matter a your choice.
But If you lose a greater part of your life without a partner and without actually doing what God made you for in the first place. Procreation. That gives meaning to a union between two persons of the opposite sex. You have been a tragedy yourselves.
Cause u have lost opportunities that God gave you.
Choose as you may like, But trust in God to deliver, He wont let you down. You can still be independant in so many ways, and maybe God will make your children dependant on you, and its a great feeling raising kids.
God Bless you Mam.
2006-08-22 19:40:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, most people are probably better off single - or we wouldn't have so much divorce!! It's only a tragedy if in your heart you really want to be married. If you don't that's normal for alot of people. I mean there are some huge advantages to being single that you can be thrilled about!
2006-08-22 19:29:39 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in case you compromise for it then which will certainly be your destiny. The universe responds to the ability you place out. think of unfavorable, get unfavorable, think of constructive, get constructive. in case you think of those issues are what are conserving you returned you may replace it in case you like. undesirable? See what you're able to do to get some greater preparation or preparation so as which you'll be waiting to get a place that will develop your earnings point out of the poverty selection. grotesque, get a makover you would be bowled over what slightly replace can do, a hair shrink, contacts stable posture all little issues which could bypass a protracted thank you to improving seems. self belief is the suited make up there is so placed it on liberally. no longer of the personallity as much as now? Why no longer? ok now artwork on changing that. 25 isn't previous for a guy to no longer hav a woman. artwork on self first while your suggestions-set differences, all different replace will stick to. think of greater of your self and others will think of greater of you 2. honest.
2016-11-05 10:36:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be happy!! life is too short to worry about what society says is normal or excepted. I think must women wish they thought like you. But the sad thing is that must woman are taught that you are a failure or some how incomplete if you don't have a man. Be single if you are happy
2006-08-22 19:30:57 · answer #5 · answered by baby_flyy 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations. You have realised what too many women fail to ever realise in their WHOLE lives. Being single is not a disease you should be ashamed of! You can live a satisfying life without a man by your side 24/7.
2006-08-22 19:34:40 · answer #6 · answered by kimberhill 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being single is definitely better than being with the wrong guy.
But, are you sure you aren't just scared of getting hurt? The world keeps on turning and life goes on no matter how you live it. Even if you do it alone.
2006-08-22 19:29:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think not. i also think that i'm better off alone. i don't know if i can find a guy who has a personality and principles compatible with mine. maybe not. but i think it's ok. guys are not the sole source of happiness anyway...
cheers to every single woman in the world!
2006-08-22 19:32:37 · answer #8 · answered by ... 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No great tragedy. Some people are better off this way.
2006-08-22 19:28:46 · answer #9 · answered by Teacher 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel you are happiest staying single, so be it! Good luck!
2006-08-22 20:07:36 · answer #10 · answered by lette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋