Any advice?

Question

I'm a 20 year old guy from Iowa and I made a decision a while back to not have sex again until its with someone I care about. I used to have sex often and they were mostly one night stands and then I met someone and spent a year and a half with them. I realized that sex is so much better when you actually love the person so I decided to wait until I found another. I've had some chances to break my vow but have always passed and its been 14 months now. I feel myself starting to doubt whether I should keep going with this, I don't how much longer I can deal with no sex, and just the fact of being alone. Should I just go back to my old ways until I find someone or keep with my vow? Any advice is appreciated greatly.

Answer 1

I personally think you made a great decision! Keep in mind that it is your own decision and no one elses, so if you break that how good will you really feel about yourself? Anytime a person makes a "vow" to themselves, they almost always have doubts. This seems normal to me. Keep your chin up, stay strong and I'm sure it won't be long before that right someone just walks into your life! Good luck :)

Answer 2

I can give you an answer but it won't help. The answer is also a question. Just how much do you value the vow you made? How strong is your conviction? You are absolutely correct that sex is better with someone you care about. And let's face it, doing without is absolutely no fun at all!!!! But having said this, let me ask you, how much do you value yourself? Is it worth a little relief physically, when you know you will face the same hollow misery brought about by a single sexual encounter with little meaning? This is something only you can answer, but I wish you all the luck in the world figuring it out.

Answer 3

Stick to your vow you made to yourself. someone out there is worth it and will appreciate it. If it's been 14 months you can hold out, One night stands don't mean anything and can be dangerous for you and your partner!
that one person will come along and will probably be the one you spend the rest of your life with!

Answer 4

do whatever feels right! i would suggested staying true to the promise you made to yourself. obviously sex is much better when you are in love or care about your partner. kudos on keeping your vow. it takes a lot to stay true to a promise like that, especially when you may be surrounded by temptation. instead of completely not having sex, do it less! then it will still be special when you find that someone!

Answer 5

keep up/down the good work, you should have no problems living with your conscience. Also you're not hurting anyone else, keep your self respect and seriously look for someone. At church is a good place to find a mate, not a bar. I'm proud of you

Answer 6

i've always decided to only have sex with people i really felt i loved. and ur right its great when its with someone you care about. well hang in there, we should talk and keep in touch because although i'm in a relationship with someone i really love she wants to wait 5 years before having sex and it already feels like i've waited forever, so i feel you man

Answer 7

if youre still with this person, and youve spent all this time with them and really love them, then they is nothing wrong with having sex with them...
but if youre not with them and are just horney then stick to your vow, it will be way more worth it in the end when you found that rite person

Answer 8

Well, what was the reason to wait in the first place, what was the goal of all it? Have you achieve it yet?What will be more meaningful and worth to go for?

Answer 9

The longer the wait The greater the reward ;)
GB*

Answer 10

NO WAY YOUR DOING GOOD!!! YOUR JUST GETTING CRAVINGS AND IF YOU LET GO NOW YOU WILL LOOSE YOUR SELF RESPECT ALONG WITH THE PERSON YOUR DOING IT WITH. GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO THE PEOPLE WHO WAIT!!!!! IT IS DEEP AND MEANINGFUL NOT JUST DONE FOR THE FUN OF IT SO IF YOU KEEP GOING YOUR NEXT SERIOUS PARTNER WITH BE GRATEFUL AND RESPECT YOU MORE!!