I can't get out of my parental rights!?

Question

The mother of my child will not let me get out of my parental rights. I can't raise a child right now and i am not ready. I wanted her to have a abortion and this is hard on my family because my parents will have to help me pay. I'm 27 years old. She saids she doesn't want her daughter to lose out in knowing who I am and when I grow up and if i act more mature, she doesn't want me to regret anything. She doesn't want to denial her daughter a chance to know her bio father. Me. She siad she'll know the different between her bio dad and step dad and will never be lied too. Um...we ain't married! why is she doing this to me and why do i have to be a dad? I can't get out of this and i'm stuck! [e-mail]

dont you think she is being stupid....what in the hell would i regret?

no she isn't married...we are both single...we dated...she got pregnant kept the child and i wanted her to have an abortion! I'm not able to raise a child I AM NOT READY TO BE A DAD!!!

WE HAVE A PATERNITY TEST..I AM INDEED THE FATHER ONE HUNDERED PERCENT...I HAVEN'T SEEN HER AND SHE IS 4 MONTHS OLD. MY SISTER AND FRIENDS HAVE..I'VE BEEN INVITED TO EVERYTHING BUT I CAN'T MAKE IT WELL I'M TOO SCARED TO GO BECAUSE I CAN'T HANDLE A CHILD AND AIN'T READY TO BE A DAD

Answer 1

this baby is a human being just like you. how would it make you feel when you grew up if you knew your father never wanted you? That's what you might regret. You could cause this kid a whole world of self-esteem and relationship issues. I'm 20 and I'm a good, responsible parent. Grow the F*** up.

Answer 2

Well, if you want to, you can file for a release of your rights and have the child put up for adoption - of which her step-day is free to then adopt her or not. If you cannot present a legitimate reason to the courts why you do not want any association with the child, then you may be out of luck, but it seems to me if the mother has gone on and remarried and you were never married and you truly can't envision, beyond the money, that you would ever want to know this child, then use the courts. It's not just the mother's right to decide for the child what is best. You're the bio-dad and if you're unfit and declare yourself to be such, then you've probably got a case. Otherwise, pay the child support and let Mommie Dearest deal with the fallout every time the child wants to know why her real daddy doesn't ever come around or recognize her birthday or send her a christmas gift. Mommie is setting up the heartache sounds like to me.

Answer 3

GROW UP! You are 27 years old, it's time to be an adult. If she wanted to she could file for child support and you would have to pay it. It would be taken out of any pay check you would collect. If you don't get a pay check, then she can get benefits through the state until you do get a job and then the state will garnish your wages. This baby didn't asked to be brought into this world but you have to pay if you're going to play. If you really don't want the responsibility of a child then get a lawyer and relinquish your parental rights permanently. Then NEVER have contact with this child or her mother again. Then one day when you decide to grow up finally and you have a family of your own (God help us all!!) you may look back and wonder what happened to that first baby girl. By then, she will be all grown up and be calling someone else daddy and won't even care that you exist. If she does, then she will be VERY angry with you. Whatever you decide you first need to grow up and get a job, stop bleeding your parents dry. I'm sure they would appreciate it!!

Answer 4

If you have not already, have your lawyer insist on a paternity test before you enter into a financial agreement. Then, assuming you are the dad:

What is done is done. You ARE a dad, whether you want to be or you think you are ready to be....

Do yourself and the little girl a big favor by being part of her life. No matter how it is explained or reasoned away, she will never get over her biological father not wanting to have some type of contact with her.

In addition to the amount you will be required to pay, be sure to send a card and small gift on her birthday and major holidays. She needs to know you appreciate her presence in your life - maybe you do not appreciate the way it came to be, but be thankful for the way things are now. Let her existence help make you a better person.

This little girl is 50% YOU and you both deserve to keep in contact and enjoy the love that relationship can bring.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

If you didn't want the risk of a pregnancy then why did you have sex?

If you don't ever want kids then pay a few hundred dollars now and get a vasectomy. Then you wont have to pay thousands later in child support.

Unless the Grandparents are feeling guilty for not being active Grandparents, they don't have to pay anything.

It takes a sperm and an egg to make a baby. So if either one of the hosts for either one of those possible baby starts is not using protection, then there is the higher risk of one not working and then they both merge and make life.

If the "step-father" is willing to take responsibility of the child, then sign over rights to him. She still has to fully trust him to do that, (guilt trip for lack of trust) and consent for it.

Otherwise, Get over it. You pay the price for you not taking proper steps on your part. Start a savings account in the child's name and start making good on it. The savings account keeps track of how much is moved in the account. This way if she is doing it for the money only, then the child while get that money when she finishes college, IE...Trust Fund.

Talk to a Lawyer about how you set that one up. Do it before the courts get involved.

Answer 6

In 20 years you might get curious about your DNA running around out there somewhere and by then the kid will be all grown up and you'll have missed everything. You can sign away your parental rights, but thats usually only used for when you give your kid away and by signing away your rights the new parents are safe from you suing for custody if you change your mind. (it happened in desperate housewives)
While you could in theory sign away your rights for no reason, you can't get away from being stuck with child support by the mother. Its called a dead-beat-dad law. You could hand over full custody to the mother, but you'd need her consent not pay. Basically, theres a difference between giving up your rights and loosing your rights.
While the mother can force you to pay child support, she can't force you to be in the child's life. So your best bet to avoid much child support if to offer a compromise to the mother. It sounds like shes more interested in keeping you in the child's life than she is in getting your money. Just tell her that she has to choose between a fairly small mandatory minimum of monthly child support, or the comparatively priceless presence of a father presence to the child.
I don't know what child support costs, lets just say its $500 a month, offer $150 + two days a week with the child, or something like that.

Answer 7

You are a despicable man. You are as responsible for the child as the mother. Now do the right thing, quit whining about your life, get a job and help your child. Your parents are NOT responsible for the child. They are under no obligation to help.

Grow up, learn responsibility and do the right thing.

Since you are such a worthless little whiner, maybe the mom is wrong to want you around, but in any case, accept your responsibility like a man.

I normally don't yell at people, but after reading your question, I made an exception for you.

Answer 8

Well, it took the two of you to make a baby so the both of you are responsible for taking care of the baby. You might not want to be a dad, but you are the father. You can either pay child support or go to jail. It is all up to you. As for your parents helping to pay your child support, GROW UP and stop making your parents pay for choices that you made without their consent.

Answer 9

first your 27 years old and you have to ask your parents to help you pay for you child. You should step up to the plate and be a man about. i mean hello your 27 she has every right to make you pay for what you did. if you didnt want a child maybe you should keep your thing in your pants. you are acting like a 16 year boy who dont know what to do. Me and my husband had our first child when i was 21 and he did a wonderful job providing for us and is still doing so with our 2 kids and ourselves. i think you need to grow up.

Answer 10

Hate to tell you this, honey, but you took a risk by having sex with her. Obviously it was unprotected. You are 27 years old, time to learn that you have to pay for the consequences of your actions. She seems to be acting in a responsible way about this. Sure, you could sign away your rights to the child, but that would not stop you from having to pay child support. My advice: do the right thing and be a father to this child.