I just had a baby and the father did not sign the birth certificate. I have the affadavit, but he won't sign that either. If I go after child support, he will have legal rights to the baby. He is an unfit father (his wife was just arrested for domestic violence...yeah, his wife). I guess I could try to get custody, but I'm soooo scared that he will get to take the baby when he want's and I can't trust him with her. I'm afraid the money might not be worth it (even though I'm not going to be able to do all this on my own...without the help from family...hate to say it, but it's the truth).
2006-08-22 18:49:47 · 22 answers · asked by Laura 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Yes you should go for child support. And just because he pays support does not mean he has rights of the child. You can go to the judge and get it set up where he cant see her. He needs to help you support that baby.
2006-08-22 18:52:26 · answer #1 · answered by Danielle 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think if you feel he is an unfit father, then you need to go for soul custody of this child and have him sign his rights away.
He has legal right to your child whether child support or not. DNA is the key. If he never done anything illegal or in danger, he has a right.
If you want child support, you are opening the window for him to have court visitation rights.
I think you made some bad choices yourself and honestly, this is the consequence of this. I don't know if you knew he was married or anything. However, you did sleep with him and that wasn't a good judgment call 9 months ago if he is "unfit". So, sometimes as bad as it is, we do have to realize we are at fault too. So, with that said, you have to show the court he is unfit and realize your "faults" will be also shown to the judge who will judge you as a parent too. I know it sucks writting it and you reading it, but it is the truth.
You need to do it now. I have seen when I was studying in Law Enforcement before I transfered to Child Development that a women's ex bf never had interest in the child until the child was 10 years of age. All of a sudden, he wanted interest and he actually was awarded visitation rights. Even if he didn't see his child for 10 years nor provided.
So, if you feel if he isn't on the Birth C or anything, that doesn't mean anything. He still has a right to the child and request DNA later down the road. There is loop holes in our systems. Get to know them.
Court system and laws can be c.rappy sometimes when it comes to things like that. Depends on the court and judge appointed. He has a right to the child. If he never hurt the child or made any bad record and he has a good stable home, he has a right the child.
If you need assistance, go down and get on WIC (which will supply you formula, juice etc up to 5 years of age). My sister had WIC and I know a lot of people. It is a great thing to have for your child and any person of any income can get on it. If you feel it is best, get on welfare until you can get on your feet.
There is parenting clinics in our local community area that a single mother (or couple) can attend some guidence class's that will help in giving information about nuitrition to future self goals. At the end of the class (some are 2 hours, some are an hour, depends on what class it is) they have been knowing to give free car seats and lessons of how to properly install them, free give aways of cribs, formula coupons, clothing discount cards etc. Also, you can find information and self help groups of single mothers, which is a plus.
Can exchange phone numbers, make friends and have "play dates" set up where one parent watches the child while the other works or able to relax "me time". My step sister does that on Army Base in Germany.
2006-08-22 19:06:55 · answer #2 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would. Depending on what state you are in, well actually im most states if you are struggling with your child and you go to the gov't for help they will require you get a DNA test and pursue child support. Now if he pays child support he DOES have a right to see his child but whether or not the judge thinks this would be in the best interest of the child is the real question. If you know there is violence in the household bring this up to the judge and give good reasons as to why you want full physical custody. AND if you think he could see her on occasion make it supervised visits thats all. Hope this helps.
2006-08-22 18:57:35 · answer #3 · answered by alana6382 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way I see it is One you can just let him walk away and that way your baby is not exposed to his violence or his strange wifes violence. ALWAYS think of the baby first! It doesnt sound like it will bother him at all if u close him out! BUT if you do go after support he may insist on rights to the baby just to upset you and not cuz he wants to be near his child! Know what I mean? I would think it thru carefully. For now you can hold off and later on go after support. Health and Human services will help you with money and food and clotjing and theres WIC for the baby formula and needs. Just tell them u have no idea who the father is. That way they wont go after him and piss him off. Later you can always go for child support and they will give you back support from the day the baby was born! Good luck to you! Always put your little ones safety and well being above all else! Congradulations on the new baby mom!
2006-08-23 03:58:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should seek child support through the courts - this way he has to pay either through wage garnishment or tax returns - you can also have it established as a friend of mine did that he not be allowed to see the baby until the child was 18 years of age - and could be given the option at that time to meet the father in court if he was paid up and after a meeting could decide if she wanted anything more to do with the man or not. She chose to get to know her Dad and it has been great for them.
2006-08-22 18:57:16 · answer #5 · answered by dph_40 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes get the child support! don't be scared. even he doesn't own up to being the father. make him take a paternity test. he is responsible you did not get yourself pregnant. if he would not sign saying he is the father then why do you think he would want anything to do with the baby. he can get visitation but it will be by a court order so he will have rules for when and how long he can have the child. if you can't do it on your own then go to DHR and get on welfare and stuff till you get on your feet and tell them you don't know who the father is. do some research on your state laws the are all diffrent.
2006-08-23 02:58:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's put it this way: with or without the child support he still has rights to see the child. And what does the wife being arrested for domestic violence have to do with him being an unfit father?
2006-08-23 17:43:42 · answer #7 · answered by John F 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
purely concentration on your infant. i'm particular your Dad has good intentions in reminding you that you and your infant desire coverage. the subsequent time he brings it up, purely enable him understand you're engaged on it. As for marrying the baby's Dad- if he would not favor to get married, do not stress him into it. you'll significantly remorseful about it down the line. a touch one has a extra sturdy beginning in the journey that they have got 2 mothers and fathers that are married, or so society says. enable me allow you to realize even with the undeniable fact that, if both mothers and fathers at the on the spot are not in it for the right motives- anybody suffers contained in the destiny. This wasn't stated on your question and that i'm not nagging, yet you could contact the criminal professional standard's workplace on your state and report for newborn help. He desires to help help the newborn that he helped make. in case you do not sense like you want the money at present, you could continuously placed it in mark downs or a believe fund on your infant. do not waste a lot power stressing about what anybody keeps affirming- like stated, it sounds like good intentions, yet do purely what you could once you could. Use your power on your infant. formerly you realize it he or she will be in a position to be strolling, talking, and into each little thing and also you is surely not in a position to get at present back. good success!
2016-12-01 01:14:36 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to say what you should do. It's your right to claim support, however, if you feel it is not best for your child than don't do it. What is best for your child is what's important. Nothing else matters and you will make it. Yes, you may need help, but after you get into the swing of things you'll be fine. Good luck
2006-08-22 18:54:03 · answer #9 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can prove he's unfit - then at most he might have supervised visitation. Arrest records and such are public information so start getting all of your ducks in a row.
He is legally obligated to provide financially for the baby....
2006-08-22 18:56:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋