I don't want her to have his last name. Also, the baby is 3 weeks and he hasn't contributed anything yet. He states that she doesn't need anything yet. Isn't that b/s!?! What advice do you have for me? Please....no harsh answers since I'm already bugged out by all this stuff to begin with.
2006-08-22 18:28:41 · 28 answers · asked by Laura 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You should have already filled out the birth certificate information at the hospital. Which name did you put on it when you filled it out? She doesn't have to have his last name, but I would go and sign up for child support. Did he happen to sign the birth certificate? You may have to take him to court and get a blood test before you are able to collect child support, especially if he fights it. Good luck!
2006-08-22 18:35:12 · answer #1 · answered by TheGuru 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most definately not. I believe if you are not with the father that the baby should have your last name. A lot of guys end up leaving especially if they are not commited to the mother, then you would have a baby named after someone who isnt even around. So an unmarried mother should give the baby her last name, especially since he hasn't contributed anything yet. ((That is already giving you a hint as to what kind of father he is going to be.)) Later on if you guys end up getting married the babys name can also be changed.
2006-08-22 22:24:24 · answer #2 · answered by Christinamk227 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't he the child's father? Do you want a blank space on her birth certificate where her father's name should be? What do you think that will do for her when she gets older and wants to know something about her father? I don't want to be harsh but her birth certificate isn't about you and your feelings for this man, it's about her and how she sees herself in the future. So suck it up and make sure that she has a father on her birth certificate.
As to what you call her when you sign up for Social Security, school and all the rest of it, while I'd like to say that you can give her any last name you want, I can't because I believe that the laws in some states have changed. You will really have to do some research into the laws about naming now. Why not call a lawyer and ask him? You could, possibly, have to make an appointment but a thirty minute consultation shouldn't be that expensive.
While you are in the lawyer's office you can ask about asking for child support. Yeah, right, she doesn't need anything yet. He's likely to carry that attitude on forever.
2006-08-22 20:16:06 · answer #3 · answered by Ellen J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO you absolutely DO NOT have to let him sign the birth certificate if you dont want him too. He can however take you to court and they can force you to do a paternity test which will then give him rights as a father. BUT until paternity is established in the eyes of the law- he has no rights since u r not married and cannot force anything! Its always wonderful to have BOTH parents in a childs life. If your boyfriend is NOT abusive and violent or some career criminal- why not let him visit the baby- as long as YOU are with him? Take things one day at a time. Once he starts spending time with the baby- he will develope an amazing bond with her and will start to help u with things she needs! If not it can be court ordered he help pay! If u let him sign the birth certificate- the court can force him to help you! He can always have his name on the birth certificate- so u can get child support! BUT you still do not have to give the baby his last name! Good luck to you. But atleast try to let him be a part of the babys life- give him the opportunity to make things right- take it a day at a time. Dont push him too far away for your little girls sake! Congradulations on your new baby mom!!!!
2006-08-23 04:05:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No... it is the mother's choice what the last name is. I researched this when I had my first child. And yes it is b/s. That baby needs a lot of attention and love from the moment she was born. My advice is sign your rights for child support over to the state and let them go after him, that way you don't have to deal with him at all. Good luck!
2006-08-23 00:08:53 · answer #5 · answered by sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to do what you feel is best for the baby.
Since I am not in that position, I can not tell you what to do. However, I can tell you what I would feel I would do if that was me. I would give my child my last name since I would be unmarried. Once I do get married, I will change my child's last name whether it be his or another person's if him and I didn't last. If my child is old enough to feel he/she doesn't want that last name, I would respect the wish and keep it the original last name since I feel that is only right for the child to have a say once old enough to speak it.
You can put any last name on the birth certificate. You don't even have to have your's or his. You can put another person down on the birth certificate who isn't the father. By law, it is legal. The father can contest it, but doesn't make it illegal. (In State of California that is). You have to contact your State Family Court for more information.
I am not related to the Water's family. HOWEVER, I have that last name. My mom gave me the last name since it is my older two siblings last name from their bi logical dad. I have a different dad and she didn't want me to have that last name. Why? My bi logical father and my mom didn't work out due to a situation. My mom wanted me to grow up not being "teased" by other's asking why "I didn't have the same last name if they are my siblings". Kind of saved me from that in school. Which, my mom was thinking in my best interest in that. I still new about my bi logical dad and my mom explained it where I understood why I had different dad but same last name. (she also kept that last name when she was divorced too. She was about "family" and changing her name would of been to confusing if everyone had different last names, but suppose to be related lol). I hope you followed what I ment!
You are the mother. You think of your child's best interest.
As far as providing, that is b.s. I would say that is a lame excuse to try to get out of providing for the daughter and to start providing or I will have a court appointed for him to provide (with stating he wouldn't be in a relationship with me at this point either). Diapers, formula, car seats, clothes (they grow quickly. Never bad to buy clothes "too big" since eventually, she will fit into it. It is thinking ahead), baby wipes, teething supplies (in a few months down the road), doctor visits, shampoo's, baby bath supplies, crib, blankets. Even if you have all that (which some of those, you run out quick), he still can contribute by giving you some sleep and taken over for you on the feeding, changing, bathing routin. Giving you a few hour rest. All mothers, especially new mothers need "me time" to refresh themselves. A new born is a piece of work. Helping out just in watching the baby is a gift in itself lol.
I am not sure your status with him at the moment. I will only assume you two are just not married since I don't know if you two are together or seperated.
However, I do think this is just the begin of a big issue of him being a part in her life and working it out with you on it.
2006-08-22 18:49:11 · answer #6 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no he can not.. However in some situations (unless it's really bad) I do suggest giving a child the fathers last name. The only reason being is one day you'll re-marry, and sometimes it's hard on the child when their last name is the same as noones in the family.. My step daughter is going through this right now.
2006-08-23 00:46:46 · answer #7 · answered by ames018 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where i am from you can name the baby anything, even if it has nothing to do with your name, it is all up to you. Hopefully you both agree on something.
I am not married to the father of my baby but I did hyphen her last name so she can make her own choice when she is old enough.
2006-08-22 18:35:12 · answer #8 · answered by Princess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. He can demand all he wants. You are not married to him and have the choice of either your name or his. If he is not contributing anything to her wellbeing he is what I would call scum. You are lucky you are not married to him from your brief description of him. He is nuts to think she needs nothing yet. Newborns need quite a bit. You stick to your guns on the name too.
2006-08-22 18:36:21 · answer #9 · answered by Stefbear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way. Not at all. You can choose whatever name you want to give your baby. If the father wants baby to have his last name then he should do the responsible thing and marry you!
2006-08-22 18:31:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋