My dad says that I watch too much "girly" shows and I'm too "girly." My dad thinks any show that has a girl as one of the main characters is "girly." Also, he tells me to be to play and watch more sports because its what men do. Thing is I've never really liked sports to much but I do like more cultural clubs and things that interest me more and most guys at school never even mention sports in the conversation. My dad has always been a bit chauvanistic. What do you think I should do? I mean being a teenager is hard enough without this.
2006-08-22 18:12:09 · 21 answers · asked by Rizwan 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Just so you know both my parents said this to me but my dad has been saying this kind of stuff for awhile, my mom just said it a couple days ago. The whole sports thing was big on their minds. Why do I have to play sports to prove my maculinity? I can show other ways. I think my dad wants to me to be like him since he did play soccer as a child and my older brother also didn't play sports. Things is I never want to be like my father, for reasons I'd rather not say(he's not physically abusive or anything, but some of the stuff he says...) My mom told me to watch more sports so I'd have more things incommon with the other guys but, like I said earlier, most guys don't talk about sports; they talk about the media, politics, school, etc.(at least most of the guys I know). I just don't like sports the way they her and my father do. She said it would help me make more guy friends; she said I hang around girls too much. She doesn't know everyone I hangout with and so I have 1 more girl friend
2006-08-22 18:40:11 · update #1
Sorry. I ran out of characters. Back to topic, what's the big deal if I have 1 more girl friend than guy? I'm better friends with the guys than girls, probably because we have more in common. And I thought parents were supposed to make teen years easier. Well I'm sorry for my rammbling and think you all who posted HELPFUL answers. Thank you for listening.
2006-08-22 18:43:31 · update #2
That's right! What a horrible thing to say to his son!!!
I feel for you, really.
I guess try to deal with it the best you can, but always remember - YOU are a good person just the way you are! I hope and pray one day your dad will wake up and realize what a hurtful and inappropriate thing that was to say to his son.
Be yourself, don't live your life the way your dad (or anyone) wants you to live it.
2006-08-22 18:16:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your father thinks that so many things are "girly" he clearly has his own problem. not just with people he thinks might be gay, as he apparently thinks you might be, but with women in general. It's obvious that he thinks women are inferior and it's obvious that he thinks any guy who has an interest in something other than sports is gay. And you are right, it's hard enough being a teenager without dealing with his ignorant crap and problems. And frankly, it's hard enough being a woman without listening to his prickish crap.
If he's not likely to become physically abusive, I think you should simply assert yourself and say, "Hey, I don't know what your problem is when you talk about all this girly stuff - I mean, are you afraid that I'm acting like a girl,? or are you afraid that you may be acting like a girl? (In other words, why is he questioning his own masculinity based on what he thinks you're doing?)
I'm a pretty conservative 46 yr old woman who wouldn't normally say this, but I know a prick when I see one. Tell your father to f*** off, and leave you the f** alone. He has a problem, not you.
2006-08-22 18:37:49 · answer #2 · answered by PDY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is pure ignorance to say that masculinity comes w/ sports etc. and steriotypical behaviors. Both my brothers don't like sports (my parents did not care) and they are totally masculine.
Sounds like your dad is unsure of himself and has to prove it by steriotypical behaviors.
It must suck to hear it from your parents. Keep your head up high and know you are normal and they are the ones who are being rediculous. Can you talk to your mom in private about how it bugs you?
It sounds like you are an intellecutal and less of a sports guy. Maybe your dad is envious of your intellicence
2006-08-22 23:47:11 · answer #3 · answered by chill'n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
alot of parents are afraid that you being girly and all --that you are gay or will be picked on at school---i say be yourself and tell your dad that you dont want to get into sports--even though ifyou are gay --that be a great time to see some sweet assesand you know what else hehehe
anyhow--sports dont make you a man or manly--and if yourdadcant understand that then that is his problem----you are youngand all but it is also a time for you to discover who you are--and what you will become in the future-- remember--str8or gay---it doesnt matter---family should support you--i know my family did
2006-08-24 18:09:01 · answer #4 · answered by lhardwick69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LIke what you like. Men do not watch sports. My other 1/2 played football in high school as well as hockey. He tried out for a semi-pro hockey team. He ref'ed hockey and baseball. Coached hockey and baseball. He does not watch sports on TV.
He also like culture, reads, goes to musicals.
Be yourself.
2006-08-22 18:20:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know how you feel... my parents want me to do sports too. Im not in need of extra physical activity and I dont want to do sports. just ignore it or pick an easy sport that you can do but only takes a little of your time. good luck.
2006-08-22 23:08:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you try to live your life thru your dad's eyes, you will never be happy. It is really important to be yourself and if you don't like sports, that is okay. Many fathers want their sons to be macho, or live their dreams, or worry about gayness in their sons. I believe these are issues of their own insecurities and often their sons pay for it. You need to talk to your dad and tell him you really want to be accepted, respected and loved unconditionally for who you are. God bless you and good luck with your future.
2006-08-22 18:25:11 · answer #7 · answered by kb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's afraid you might turn gay or he wishes he could share things like sports with you. He feels he can't connect with you if you aren't like him. Just be yourself and don't worry about dad. He will come around eventually.
2006-08-22 18:18:55 · answer #8 · answered by ♥c0c0puffz♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So what does he define as masculine? Sounds a load of rubbish! Cultural clubs sound good to me! And for the record, i also loathe sports! I would ignore him as far as possible!
2006-08-22 18:15:44 · answer #9 · answered by David R 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
haha this is really funny
all the girls-"be true to urself"
all the guys-"ur so gay"
i dont know what to pick but i say do what ur dad tells u othawise u deserve a kick in the ***
2006-08-22 18:45:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋