My mother won't let me date until i am 26! How do i convince her to let me date earlier???

Question

I can't believe i have 13 more years until i can date. I am 13 years old right now. My mom thinks that dating is off-limits for people under 26. Even to my friends, that seems RIDICULOUS!!! Mom's philosophy is that i'll be 26 when i finish my doctors degree. She thinks that if i start getting into boys/men too early, my education will be messed up and i will start to divert my focus of life (bs!!!). I know i have enough self control to juggle my education and the boys. maybe not right now, but certainly when i'm 15 or 16. 17? Well what do you think? Do you think i should try to convince my mom to let me date earlier? Or do you think she is right about her no-dating-until-26 rule?

Answer 1

Hahaha. She is over-exxagerating. She doesn't actually mean 26 years old. When you are 18, you can do whatever the fuuck you want. (means you are an adult)
But...your mom is being unrealistic. You ARE gonna date before you get to be 18. Everyone does. Your mom just has to stop thinking that you're a baby. It'll just take some time.
:)

Answer 2

I agree to a point..I want my daughter (she is 12 now) to focus on her studies and get a good education that I didn't have the chance to. I got pregnant with her at 16 and had her when I was 17. Boys have a way of making you forget your focus on life. However, 26 is pretty extreme..are you sure she is not joking about that age? I would say 17 or 18 is a good age to really "date"..and try to go for guys that are a little more mature..that will definitely not be your same age. (But stay away from the geezer's!) Good luck..take care of your future!

Answer 3

she has no right to influence your life from the age of 18.
her influence should be slackened at the age of 16.

a good rule of thumb is
age 14 - school and church dances
age 16 - group dating - 4 people or more
age 17 - couple dating - 2 people
age 18 - serious courting

recomendation make sure you know the person well for at least one to two years before getting married.
also avoid sex till after marriage. most guys don't think about starting a family till the age of 25 give or take 5 years depending on the guy. and therefore will not date single mothers mainly because of fear of comitment.

dating is intended for getting to know people you think you might be interested in some day marrying and starting a family with.

Answer 4

I think she is going too far. First of all, when you turn eighteen, you are legally an adult and can do what you want. However, I understand why she would be concerned about dating being a distraction but saying that you can't date until you are 26 isn't the right way to go about it. She should have just given you advice NOT laid down a "law" that you couldn't date until you are 26 (she can stop you till you are 18, but afterwards you are on your own). You should date when you feel you are ready...be responsible about it and don't let it distract you from your schooling and you other duties.

Answer 5

well first of all u still have a little time before u worry about dating because you are only 13 but when u are a few years older thats when you should go to her and have a serious talk about it.why start an argument now when there is no need.i find it actually ridicuous that she is telling you that u have to be 26 its not even realistic so why she says it im not sure.i understand she wants you to have and education but thats a little extreme.have things happened in her life where she is thinking like that?just wait your turn will come and it wont be at 26 sweetie

Answer 6

Once you are 18 you're free to do as you wish, I presume, but I suspect that you are hoping for financial support from your mother.

She does make a good point. If you are going in and out of relationships, it can take a toll on the rest of your time, regardless of the self-control imposed.

However, part of growing up is learning to have a social life. I know from personal experience that not having a social life as a youth can be very stunting in adulthood. I know that's a little different than dating, but in high school, that's what a date should be, a social gathering.

I'm guessing that she is exaggerating her no-date rule, especially since it's unenforceable if you don't live at home during college. I might suggest that she's using that as a highball price, like what a car dealer might do. With that in mind, negotiate with her and try to stand on your points.

I agree that 13 is likely too young, and for young women, one has to be careful regarding overzealous boys. However, I will suggest that you should be able to go to your school's prom (if they hold one), thus consider grade 12 to be a good point to settle on. Obviously my advice is just what I think, so I'll use that as my disclaimer. :-)

Answer 7

I am a parent, and I think 26 is a little old to have your first date. For a teenager, I believe that these are the carefree years of your life...(no heavy responsibilities to worry about, besides school work, of course.) 13 is a little to young for a date, (if you're going alone). I think 15 is the best age for a first date. You should try and convince your mom to date earlier.

Answer 8

Although I see where your mom is going with this, it is the wrong way to handle it. I believe you should wait until you are about 25 to 26 years of age before you make any life changing moves (ie: babies, marriage, buying a home etc.)
Until then, I say date and keep yourself focused on what your future holds. You are 13, you have plenty of time to make friends. Just don't rush it, Mom is trying to keep you from making big decisions too early.

Once you are 18, you get to make your own choices. Mom is just trying to make sure you make the right ones.

Good luck, Hon.

Answer 9

Im 19. I wont be 20 till December and I am already planning a wedding for July of next year. I am also in school right now and doing better then when I was in Highschool. As far as focus, it depends on the individual. 26 is defenitly an exageration. And as a girl you will become interested in guys. Talk to your mom, but remember your still young right now.

Answer 10

Your mom sounds like a control freak, and at 13 yes its alright for you not to date, but not 26, thats ridiculous. After your 18, guess what, you control yourself and your choices. I think what you have to do is earn your mothers trust as you get older, i highly doubt she'll be changing her mind anytime soon, and i think thats where your trust comes in. Be patient about this, and if its still an issue when you feel your mature enough and ready, then have a sit down talk with her. Still if no budge..you must wait until your 18. I feel for you, and good luck with this.

Answer 11

Please do yourself a big favor, listen to your mom! she is almost always correct. I'm in graduate school and I'll tell you a secret: guys are still either losers or pigs--even after 24 years! they are nice guys, have a job, intelligent, and outgoing... seems good right? wrong! they still got a ways to go from dating material (opinions from wives ages 30+ and me). I will also tell you that many of my female friends (many of them have IQs 130+ and others have good emotional intelligence) got their lives screwed over by their bfs in various ways and in different magnitudes. I'm not just talking about grades (one of them is Ivy league) rather picked up bad habits, beliefs, involve in dangerous activities, poor influences... the list goes on. Seriously, there are a lot of subtleties and little ways you can get harm that you will not be able to understand now nor the teenagers in these forums. It's complicated and love does NOT conqueor all. Rather when you are in love, you stop thinking and do stupid things. Really, you are still very young and you don't need guys.

personally i don't believe in dating pre-30s! From the stuff I seen, pre-30s are still kids. That 18 year old laws haven't catch up to current society, which needs at least a bachleor's degree to able to do anything. 18 year old are adults? that's BS! There aren't many 18 year olds that can take care of themselves, be completely financially independent, emotional matured, and still have a dream; and you want of those "taking care of you, because I loves you (when they can't and don't even to themselves)" It's all BS. I still got five more years to go. I agree with your mom that waiting will pay off, I know it's hard, though you will see valuable dividends paid as you grow older comparing to other people.

Although you can try talking to your mom to let you date if she approves of the guy before the first or second date. I believe that's a reasonable comprimise. don't be surprise if mom says no. however, if they guy truly cares about you, he will respect the words who took care of you for the past 13 years and one who always loves you more. Alternatively, you can prove your emotional and intelligence age is 26, your mom might approve lowering the age limit even though your biological age is say, 23.

By the way, my parents set my limit at 22. I chose to set it up higher, because that's the smart thing to do.