My 4 year old brother still sleeps with my parents?

Question

He still sleeps with my parents and it dirves me insane. The reason i get mad is I think he is old enought on his own and he has developed a thing where he can only get to sleep when someone sleeps with him, so my parents have to go up and rest with him until he falls asleep. They wont listen to me but its really a nuisense. After all, he has his own room and bed which is perfect, nothing is wrong with it at all, how can I tell my parents he needs to sleep in his won bed?

Answer 1

One of these days either he'll grow out of his "issue" with getting to sleep (many, many, kids his age have this kind of thing). Another thing is one of these days your parents may find some way to change what's going on once they feel he has to sleep in his own bed. You don't know what it is like to have a four-year-old.

With all due respect, trust that your parents know what they're doing and that this is between them and their child - and it isn't your concern. When you have your own children then you can do things the way you think they should be done. Your parents obviously don't see this as a big deal, and neither do a whole lot of other people with four-year-olds. Somehow, nobody ends up sleeping with their parents when they're grown.

You need to ask yourself why you are so worried about this.

People who are willing to rest with children before they go to sleep often believe that if a child is going through the phase where they're a little restless or a little afraid of things they think up as they try to sleep that child needs to know that his parents are willling to try to make him feel more comfortable. If they turn their back on any fears or other discomfort he has now - when he's so little - then the message they will send him is that they will not be there for him now, when he's thirteen, when he's sixteen, etc. He will learn that when he was afraid or lonely or whatever it is that makes him need them right now they weren't there for him.

No decent parent wants to send that message. If your parents have a problem with this they'll figure out what to do about it. Otherwise, obviously, they're fine with it.

Of course, they aren't going to listen to you. That is not your child. You have no experience with children. You are young. Obviously, too, you are someone who believes you know more than your parents do (and a lot of young people think that), the someday when you're a parent you'll see that when you were young you didn't know as much as you thought you did.

(Do you think your parents don't have as the ultimate aim his sleeping in his own bed by himself? Of course they do. Relax and take care of your own issues and problems. They'll take care of theirs.)

Answer 2

Well don't you sound like the family Adult! Tell them to go on vacation.... If your old enough.... then you stay with the little tike, get yourself some ear plugs and put his @$$ in his bed and let him cry. Four is just too old, my son is three and he crawls into the bed at night if he has a bad dream and sometimes when his daddy is out of town he will sleep in my bed but he is also the first to tell you, "WHen my daddy is home, I sleep in my room, not the bed." ha ha so he knows!

Answer 3

Sweetie, I agree that your brother should have his happy little butt in his own bed. Your parents obviously don't feel the same way or he would sleep in his own bed. There is a reason that your parents allow this to continue and until they, not you, are ready for it to stop, it wont.
Just don't worry about it. It isn't something that you need to worry about. There are plenty of other things out there that will drive you crazy. This isn't something that you have any control over, so please, for your own sake, don't stress it.

Answer 4

Your parents have the problem not your brother. Children develop this sort of habit when they are allowed to by weak parents who do not exert proper control and let the child blackmail them into doing what they like best. It will be tough on everyone to change this behavior at such a late stage but even tougher if it is allowed to go on.

Answer 5

1 word: Discipline! Stick the kid in his bed. None of, "oh hunney bunny! Poor little boy can't sleep". Who cares if he cries for an hour? He will eventually get used to it. My sister was like that for a while. My mom stuck the kid in her bed. Simple. No ifs' ands' or buts'. She would cry and cry, but eventually go to sleep. Not a hard concept.

If the parent keeps giving in to the kids whining, it will be a big power trip for him. He will always whine if he knows he can control the parent.

Answer 6

Such I agree with you and your baby brother sleeping in his own bed I don't understand why you get so upset about it. More than likely your parents feel the same way and therefore ignore your "advice" Hopefully your brother will grow out of it. See the positive in it, you don't have to worry about anymore younger siblings while your brother plays birth control.

Answer 7

Why are you worried about this? I don't understand why this bothers you. You don't state your age - but guess what? Unless you have a job and are paying 1/3 of the bills in your house then you have no say in this. And you wonder why your parents ignore your advice? It's none of your business, get over it.

Answer 8

my sister is freakin 18 years old and sometimes she needs someone to sleep with, it's pathetic. don't let it get that far! i wouldn't let him watch any scary movies, and if he does see anything not pg, then i would explain to him that it's just ketchip, etc. Also, tell your parents that if he doesn't start to sleep by himself, he'll never become independent. it's a common trait between siblings that the younger ones always seem to have a harder time becoming independent- don't let it happen to him!

Answer 9

He'll get over it eventually. It's a progression - start with one parent sleeping in his bed until he falls asleep one night as a tryout. Then increase the amount of nights over time until he sleeps by himself.

Answer 10

Hop in with them and make your point really known.

oh...c'mon Sally...there has to be more important things going on in your life than the little dude wanting to sleep with mom and pop?