to all military wives?

Question

I'LL BECOME A MILITARY WIFE IN THE NEXT YR.....HOW DO YOU HANDLE IT WHEN THEY ARE DEPLOYED...EVEN FOR 20 DAYS. MY FIANCE WAS DEPLOYED TO DIEGO MARCIA FOR 20 DAYS. HE'S ONLY CALLED 1 TIME IN THE LAST WEEK(WAS DEPLOYED THUR) AND IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!!! WE ARE THE TYPE THAT IS GLUED TO EACH OTHERS HIPS.

Answer 1

The way I handle it is by simply...staying busy. I have lots of books, I have friends to hang out with, I've got movies to watch that my husband doesn't like, and CD's that he REALLY detests.
The only time it really bothers me is at night...when I go to bed. I can't tell you how many times I cuddled with his pillow in my face, because it still smelled like him. Or how many times I'd spray something of his with his Axe, and then wear it, because it reminded me of him.
Other than that, I just focused on how many days had already gone by. When you're facing a longer deployment (20 days will seem like nothing, believe me! I don't even flinch at two or three weeks anymore!), don't EVER look to how many days you have left until the end...at least, not until you're near the end of it. Six months or a year looks like forever from that perspective.
Look at it this way though, when he comes home from long amounts of time...the sex is AMAZING. Though it was kinda weird the first time he'd been gone for two months, and then came home.
Best of luck to you though. The hardest job in the world is being a military wife...but if you're strong, you'll make it just fine.

Edit: Ignore the thumbs-down if you will, please. I pissed off a group of children in the politics section, and to get their immature little "revenge", they're going around and giving all of my answers thumbs-down. It's more pathetic than anything. I guess that's all they have.

Answer 2

Hey take from a soldier who has been on the other side that he is probably going as crazy with missing you as you are. He has a job to do and that will occupy his mind but not all the time. I know from experience that he is probably thinking about all the time. When I was deployed for a year I went a month with no way to contact anyone. It all depends on what type unit he is in where they are at and what his mission is. You will hear from him just hang loose (easier said than done). But you need to know that he needs your support more than ever now. If you can survive this than you meant to be married and your love is true. Good luck and should you need anyone to talk feel free to email me.

Answer 3

i too will become a military wife in oct 07. My bf is actually deployed right now and will be back in 2.5 months. he has been gone for a year total except when he was home for r&r in may. it is hard but we mail letters,email,im,and talk on the phone everyday. that will not always be the case depending on what base he is on and what they have avaliable to use. i would suggest getting a laptop just in case they dont have a computer lab.i also became friends with one of his friends finaces so its great to have someone who you can talk to that understands what you are going through. My bf is in the army and currently stationed in Iraq.MOST IMPORTANT: let him know that you support him 110% and that you are thinking about him ,it will definitly keep his morale up. you are lucky he is only gone for 20 days,i wish my man was coming home in 20 days lol

Answer 4

i am a military wife and am currently going through my husband's 2nd year long deployment in Iraq. I won't lie to you there are times when it is very hard and I miss him and cry but there are ways to get through deployments. First off communcations are getting better in Iraq. My husband is a medic with the infantry so by no means is he spoiled about what he has but this deployment the guys in his brigade did get the option to get internet in their rooms (FYI they call them connexes) so i recomend that if your loved one doesn't have a lap top that he get one with a web cam this is how my husband and i make it. Don't plan on getting to talk to him everyday it just won't happen especially if his job requires him to be busy in the field (in other words out on missions) but you should get to hear from him one way or another pretty often. Write lots of letters and send packages- even if you talk everyday mail is a real moral booster.

Try to get involved in the Family Readiness Group (or FRG) if you don't want to do this at least make friends with some of the other wives of the guys in your husbands unit- it really helps to be able to talk to someone who understands.

Make sure your family understands what it is your husband does and keep an open line of communication with them- my family is great to talk to on days when i don't get to talk to my husband.

**** that navy guy who said that he could call everyday- that may be true for the navy it is not necessarily true for the army. When your husband is at a place for a short period of time, on a training mission or has just arrived to his place of deployment expect communications to be infrequent. The guys are trying to get organized and they are usually very busy.

If you have any other questions feel free to contact me

PS i am sorry i used guys throughout this entire thing- i was thinking specifically of my husbands unit- they are all guys. But there are many women deployed and they also have the same or similar circumstances.

Answer 5

I am married to my best friend ... so when he is gone its difficult but I find ways to get through the day. Blogging is a great way, support from friends and finding a hobby. There are yahoo groups that support military wives and girlfriends. We just got through a 1 year deployment and now facing another one possible in March of next year. Hugs Mel

Answer 6

God don't I know what you mean. It sucks so much when my husband has to leave, even if it's just for a couple days. My husband left for 2 weeks and it was so sad for me lol i know that might make me sound pathetic...but I'm just being honest. I started going tanning to occupy my time and concentrated on lookin great for when he came back. You just got to figure out ways to occupy your time. It won't take away the empty-ness you fell, but will make the time go by. We military wives should all exchange e-mails and get to know each other, then when our husband's leave...we have someone to "lean" on.

Answer 7

My husband is gone right now.. We talk in the cell phone everyday. That still doesn't help. I miss him terribly. There is no easy way to deal with the absence, you just take it one day at a time and try to convince your heart that he will be near soon.. That is what keeps me going.. I tell myself over and over it will be over soon.. Good Luck and get ready for a very hard way of life where the spouse has to take charge of the whole household. You can never count on him because he doesn't speak for himself somebody else does the talking. It is loosing control of your household, schedule, family and decisions.

Answer 8

certainly the better halves who're dedicated to their husbands whilst they bypass off for prolonged classes of time are to be particularly cautioned. The susceptible ones will cheat on their husbands whilst they get lonely. God bless the two the protection rigidity husbands/better halves and their provider for his or her united states. and don't hear to the superliberal democrats - the protection rigidity is an quite noble enterprise and those in touch are remarkable people. i'm greater desirable than satisfied to ascertain that no longer all women are slutty, "trouble-free" ladies and that some nonetheless take relationships heavily severe.

Answer 9

Then I recommend that you don't get married - because you would not make a good supportive military wife. You should be supportive of him, understanding of the fact that he is in a foreign land probably working hard when he would much rather be home with you. Instead of being suspicious, what you should be doing is writing him supportive letters, and sending him care packages - nice things that will have him looking forward to getting home, instead of dreading having to explain himself to you and feeling quilty because his job demands he makes these deployments.

Answer 10

I don't agree with rob. They work long hours and use the "spare" time to eat, sleep and contact you.

And you just deal with it. Find other wives and hang out...get a job...keep busy with any children you have.

It makes for lots of fun when they come home...

Answer 11

hey, im military also, but the military is advanced enough to where email is accseible to everyone. if hes not at least emailing you, then something is up. even them dudes in iraq email loved ones everyday from the desert over seas. the navy has accesible email form the middle of the pacific ocean for its crew. over seas phone can get difficult to use, but i would have emailed at least to let you know that i was having trouble using them phones. so when he gets home, get on his ***!!!!!!!!!!