I am in love with my best friend of over 10 yrs. We dated for 2 yrs right after we graduated high school. There was no problems with us when we broke up, he had some family issues going on and didnt want to take his anger out on me, so we decided to split. Since breakin up though, we have remained close, even though both of us have had other significant others. There were talks of getting back together since there was nothing wrong with us in the first place,
only problem is, he says he has strong feelings for another one of his friends he met in college. She lives about 4 hrs away, & it is obvious he would rather spend time with her. I am with him most of the time and do all i can to show him how much i love him but it is not reciprocated. She does nothing and gets all his affection. When i try to talk to him about it, he says i am being petty.
He knows i love him, and i wont leave him (10 yrs) but i am tired of feeling like the wife that is being cheated on.
2006-08-22 16:56:30 · 10 answers · asked by scorpioangel22 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok, i appreciate what i have been told so far (to move on) i am not sure you all quite understand how hard that is. And for the record, we already know we are supposed to be with each other, he just doesnt like the fact that i dont want to watch him try to be with someone else (for a lil while). We always come back to each other. I have had an ex since we first broke up (3 yrs ago) and he has had an ex that he just broke up with back in january. They were together for 1 1/2 yrs. So its not that we cant move on and just be friends (cuz we have tried that), its that we know we are supposed to be with each other, or else we wouldnt keep doin this(he acts the same way when i start talkin to somebody new, tellin me we are meant to be and tellin me how he feels like the guy on the side).
Also, i have been staying with him for the past 2 1/2 months, but i am moving out this weekend. I dont pay rent, so i cook and clean and stuff like that for him and his roommate in return.
2006-08-23 01:32:53 · update #1
Ignore him for a while and he'll be back again...
2006-08-22 17:12:56 · answer #1 · answered by A... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all- You aren't married to him so you make yourself feel like the wife that is being cheated on, because you just made it clear that you guys aren't together. Unless your sleeping with him and if you are I advise you stop because this is what is causing you to feel this way. Maybe it is time to just move on! Otherwise talk to him and see if he wants to get back together and if he doesn't want to get back together it is time to let go and don't take him back as a lover again until you know that he is ready to commit to you! U can't just be giving it up to guys because they will take it wherever they can get it the easiest, so if you are easy towards him and are sexually open with other people and maybe he just wants to play the field and if that is the case he is going to keep coming back to get laid. That is just how men are! Break it off and stop feeling like a wife that is being cheated on because your not there is no commitment between the 2 of you!
2006-08-22 17:07:52 · answer #2 · answered by chrissiewild79 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to move on. As the Sting song goes "if you love somebody, you need to set them free." Let him go. If he is really more interested in you he will come after you. If he is not he will let you go. It sounds like you are doing to much of the chasing here and you need to let him has some space so he can decide if he wants to reciprocate your affections. This means you have to take the change of losing him. It will be worth it regardless of the outcome because you will benefit from this action as an individual - good luck too you :).
2006-08-22 17:04:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you are sleeping together? I would say if you guys have been friends for 10 years then you will remain friends. I don't think you love him as much as you think you do, I think you love the part of your life he represents. Once you start to realize this, it will be easier to accept that they two of you are not meant to be together. Hope this helps.
2006-08-22 17:01:22 · answer #4 · answered by jennifer c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has moved on and so should you. The two of you can still remain friends, but you need to find someone else.
2006-08-22 17:00:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you let him do that to you he will do it. He's got you and her right now and you have made it obvious to him that you just hanging around waiting. Move on and see what happens if he cares about you let him see you moving on with your life and he'll be running to you like a puppy, and if he don't well,.. at least you moved on.
2006-08-22 17:01:06 · answer #6 · answered by N search of truth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm i guess you have to face the fact that he has moved on. He might have some resentment since the break up.
I guess you can still be his friend and try to shun your feelings for him. I hope this help.
2006-08-22 17:07:16 · answer #7 · answered by de_dark_angel71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most people want what they think of as a challenge.
you told him how you feel thus the thrill is gone move on to another and keep some of yourself for yourself
2006-08-22 17:01:40 · answer #8 · answered by lewd_behavyour 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what you should do, ask your self if if it is worth it? is it really?? knowing he is with her and shows you nuthing in return when you try and show him how you feel????? if it is obvious he wants her why waste your time????????? move on...find someone who will return to you what you feel for them. he is playing you. he will continue doing this to you as long as you will allow him to. move on.
2006-08-22 17:09:03 · answer #9 · answered by countryrose24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you have to try to get over him. it sounds like he is only waiting for that other girl to come around, and then he will drop you like ****
2006-08-22 17:02:00 · answer #10 · answered by lilou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋