I am separated, getting divorced. Our dauther is with his grandparents at the beach, has been since June. I want her to come home. I feel like they will try to use the fact that she's been there so long against me. But I don't think now is a good time for her to come home. I left my ex because of his drug/alcohol problems. He's been in and out of work since I left, using, letting the house fall apart, and now he's moving in with his 18 yr old girlfriend. I have a serious concern there!!Neither of them are responsible adults, and they enable eachothers alcoholism. Plus they are in a one bedroom shack! Now I am trying to be open minded about all this, I'm not trying to keep his child from him. But I am not going to ignore my GUT INSTINCT when it comes to my child!! I just don't know what to do... I want her home but it seems like it will be a while before that is feesible. Opinions, thoughts, please give me some genuine insight. It's not just my instinct, his grandma feels it, evryone!
2006-08-22 16:30:55 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
When my parents divorced when I was 4 and my mother remarried when I was 5, she and my step father moved to Detroit with me. My real father and I had been close but he was also an alcoholic. He moved to the D.C. area and remarried. I did not see him from the age of 4 until I was 12 years old. No cards, no phone calls, nothing. I really did not remember him too much. But my step father really treated me as if he was my real father and was very good to me. However, due to a lot of circumstances that are not relevant, I moved back to VA with my grandparents. My grandmother was 38 years old when I was born... so they were not much older than parents of my friends. My mother was an only child and so my grand parents were devoted to me as I was them. I love them with all my heart. My mother felt it was in my best interest to live with them for a little while and so did they. During the divorce, me and my mom had lived with them for over a year and my grandmother had kept me my entire life when my mom worked. I grew very close to my cousins and I loved school. When my mom felt it was time for me to move back with them, I really did not want to. I had a stable and loving life. My grandmother needed me in her life due to the loss of a very close sister. I guess what I am trying to say is that I would not change my childhood for anything. My mom would come and get me every summer and then when school would start,she would bring me back to VA. Now, being a mother of 2 daughters, I think it would be a very hard thing to do, however, if I thought it was in their best interest, as you do and as my mother did, I would love them enough to do what I felt was right. Don't think for one minute that your daughter will love you any less for leaving her with her grandparents. My mom and I are close and she lives about 15 miles from me now. I still love my grandmother with all my heart. My grandfather passed away about 10 years ago, but I loved him so very much. I just feel that I had the best of both worlds having so many people that cared about me and so will your daughter. Don't feel so guilty. Things will work out. It did for me!
2006-08-22 16:50:35 · answer #1 · answered by ru.barbie2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is somewhat hard to answer that since I do not know that specifics. Why is she with them to begin with? Have you had regular contact? What is leading you to believe that they will not give her back?
I really think that if you want her back then you need to get an atty. find out what you can do. At least consult one.
If now is not the right time for her to come back then I think that you really need to have some legal documents drawn up, giving them TEMPORARY CUSTODY. A lawyer will be able to help you more with that.
I think that the more time that goes by means less change that they will willingly give her back to you.
Also think about what's best for your child.
2006-08-22 23:41:56 · answer #2 · answered by Heather 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first instinct, is usually correct, with out knowing more it is hard to give you advice. But get your things in order and get ready to deal with it, by that I mean have your home in order, clean, no bad influences, and get a lawyer.
2006-08-23 00:14:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋