Should I forgive and talk to her again?

Question

I have this cousin who was practically my little sister. We were very close and I trusted her with everything. My mom recently has custody of her, because she has been in and out of different homes all her life, and last month she started telling lies about me and my family. She twists everything around so it looks like she's the victim and she tells everyone that we're going to say we pity her. Here's an example: My sister has two babies and she stays home all the time with them. One time our cousin ASKED to watch her baby girl so my sister let her. Then a week later one of my sister's friends call her and tell her that our cousin said that she should have custody of my sister's kids because she watches them ALL the time. And that is a really BIG lie. So i don't talk to her anymore, but I miss the person that doesn't lie about us. Should I forgive her and talk to her?

Answer 1

I think you should talk to her to confront her. But do it in the most assertive way, since she is the one that did the wrong doing, and also 'cuz you dont want to give her more things to talk about you... maybe your sister will like to be there so she can also ask her why she is acting in such an ugly and dirty way. If you are really interested in her as a friend, maybe you can suggest her to get some psychological help, because obviuosly she is jelous of your life and yor sister's, and she has not being able to cope with the fact that she never had a family to call her own. On the other hand, try to understand her feelings and not to hurt her as a person, because obiously you used to get along pretty well, so try to only talk to her about specific issues and do not generalize saying something like i hate you" or " you are an awful person", because that does not fi the probelm, but instead makes it bigger... so try to focus on the issue at hand. If after talking to her she keeps on behaving ugly, then maybe you should keep a distance with her... or maybe your whole family should avoidher, since she is hurting the whole family.
But always remember that Jesus Christ said to apostole Peter:
Matthew 18:21,22-Then Peter came up and said to him: “Lord, how many times is my brother to sin against me and am I to forgive him? Up to seven times?”  Jesus said to him: “I say to you, not, Up to seven times, but, Up to seventy-seven times.
this does not mean that you have to count how many time you are forgiving, but it means that as we are imperfects, we need to be forgiven many times... because... according to Romans 3:23-" For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" but of course you have to think:
God’s View of Lying

The tendency of humans to lie was noted back in Bible times. Said the psalmist: “Untruth they keep speaking one to the other; with a smooth lip they keep speaking even with a double heart.” Self-interest lurked behind their lies. They said: “With our tongue we shall prevail. Our [lying] lips are with us. Who will be a master to us?” Note, though, how God felt about their lying ways: “Jehovah will cut off all smooth lips, the tongue speaking great things.”—Psalm 12:2-4.

Yes, “a false tongue” was and is one of the things that “Jehovah does hate.” (Proverbs 6:16, 17) After all, it is Satan the Devil himself who is “the father of the lie.” (John 8:44) Interestingly, though, the Bible makes no distinction between lies and ‘white lies.’ It simply says, “No lie originates with the truth.” (1 John 2:21) That is why a “devious person is a detestable thing to Jehovah, but His intimacy is with the upright ones.” (Proverbs 3:32) Yes, Jehovah simply will not have a close relationship with someone who is dishonest.
Well, I hpope this may help you to resolve such a sad encounter, and that these words may help you settle not just your disturbged heart, but also your soul.
Me.

Answer 2

It sounds like your cousin has been through a lot in her life considering that neither one of her parents are watching her. This is a form of her acting out. She is expressing how she feels by lying to others. I know you don't want to have anything to do with her, but she is your cousin, and she will always be your cousin. You should probably tell your mom to get you cousin some kind of help such as a psychologist. She needs to learn how to talk and express her feelings without hurting other people, and a psychotrist might be able to get her to open up and heal.

I hope this helped. And i'm sorry my spelling sucks.

Answer 3

I don't know how old the girl is but remember that while you were raised in a stable environment, she was sent to live in one house after another.

She is probably having trouble feeling like part of the family and may even be jealous of the relationship that you have as a family.

I would try and sit her down and talk to her but I would have to say that you need to be very understanding and patient. She may also have some sort of mental disorder but that is something that your parents need to look into. Please don't give up on her. Because she more than likely felt every time that she was sent to live in a new home like the families that she was leaving were giving up on her too.

Just try to be there for her and try to understand that she may not even understand the things that she is doing wrong.

Answer 4

get her into counseling there are deep rooted problems here. You need to get her help to deal with what is really bugging her..the loss of her own parents in her life I am sure. Then maybe you can trust her. I have an older step sister who's mother died not our fault she had leukemia and well she did the same stuff the lies and the hurt. My step sister never stopped and now we haven't seen here almost 20 yrs..she is how ever still spreading lies we do hear from some of her long lost friends.
So please don't ignore your cousins cry for help!!

Answer 5

It's a hard question to answer. I know the feeling of wanting the "other person" back but the truth is that sometimes, depending on the circumstances, that person no longer exists. I think that your cousin is probably a very nice girl inside however you did say that she has been thrown between families. It seems to me that she is so insecure about being needed. she is probably just saying those things to prove that she is needed so that you won't give up on her like the rest of them have. i think someone just really needs to talk to her and perhaps she will be the "other person" again.

Answer 6

Hes now not mad. Es mainly simply confused form institution and mid phrases. And chook he replyed back the primary time, he regularly ment it in one other tone of voice than you interpreted. That the trouble with texting an typing, theres no emotion. I would be yelling at you right now...However im not. Take him for some drinks or somthin to get his head again on. If all fails. Just go for the kiss. As chris rock says its continuously sudden and happens in the core of a sentence. So capture him off gard and notice what occurs. Or that you may take a fun means out and play it cool until halloween. Then on halloween costume up as a blow up doll and notice wat he thinks. That would be a great gateway into a relationship.

Answer 7

Yes, forgive her, but be wary. You can love her as best as you can, but you also need to remember to protect yourself from getting hurt by her. Clearly she has issues and just wants attention - it's not easy being in and out of various foster homes, and she probably just wants to feel like she's accepted in your family, not just an outsider cousin who has nowhere else to go. And maybe you could try to talk about this issue with her, when you're ready.

Answer 8

Talk to her. Maybe she feels that people will look down upon her because she is not with her own parents. So she figures she will give them something else to think about.

She probably also has a lot of issues due to her situation and really needs a friend.

Answer 9

hes now not mad. es more commonly simply careworn sort university and mid phrases. and chook he replyed again the primary time, he more commonly ment it in an additional tone of voice than you interpreted. that the drawback with texting an typing, theres no emotion. i might be yelling at you correct now...however im now not. take him for a few beverages or somthin to get his head again on. if all fails. simply opt for the kiss. as chris rock says its continually unexpected and occurs within the core of a sentence. so capture him off gard and notice what occurs. or you'll be able to take a amusing means out and play it cool until halloween. then on halloween get dressed up as a blow up doll and notice wat he thinks. that might be a first-rate gateway right into a dating.

Answer 10

aw man are you kidding? she lies about your family and you think you should forgive someone like that? the next thing you know she'll be stealing your moms money and your stuff man just forget about her and move on.