I AM 35 YEARS OLD and NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!?

Question

Okay here is the deal:

I am 35 years old. I have sporadically (sp?) dated in my life, but nothing has ever turned into a serious relationship. The longest I have dated someone is 2 months. That makes me feel like such a freak.

I get really lonely and would like to marry and have kids one day.

I have been told I am attractive. I have a great paying career and am well-educated. I have things to say and to the best of my knowledge I don't have major character flaws like arrogance or bitchiness. I have great hygiene and don't smell bad, etc.

I haven't been asked out for 2 years. Guys never approach me or ask me out.

I can never tell if a guy likes me or is just trying to be my friend.

This is really depressing to me. I know I do not need a man to validate my existence but I do need love and companionship.

What is wrong with me?

Why don't guys ever seem to dig me?

Honestly, I am just average looking. I could drop a few pounds too, but I am not fat.

I floss my teeth and always have fresh breath.

Answer 1

You have to talk to one if ur going to get one. Go around the world and do that.

Answer 2

That's funny (not in a disrectful way) because I am 40 and been married but it wasn't really much of a marriage and I too have never had a real boyfriend. I have had casual users and stuff but no one who cared about me and treated my like a lady. The funny thing about it is that you have a career and are educated whereas I am a high school graduate with no college and a low paying job and I thought that was the reason guys reject me, they say we are too different (meaning I am not good enought for them) but you have great qualifications in this day of the modern man so it is a mystery. I would like to marry again and possibly have another child and have been meeting people through dating services but you know what, the guys in the 40's and 50's are no more ready for committment than the younger ones. The only guys that seem to pay attention to me in day to day life are the jerks hanging out on the street looking for work. Believe me I know just how you feel though.

Answer 3

you sound pretty sane, so i have to ask, do you put yourself out there? that is the question, do you open up and let people in, because women think that men are so confident and out there, this is not true for the majority of us men. it is really hard, especially after being rejected many times, why get hurt again. Sound familliar? look, i find honesty with one feelings and friends is the best way. i feel the same way at times. i have tried all different angles and to no avail. at times i have to wonder, whats wrong with me? but once i have been myself and took the risk and got out there, my confidence was up again, and i have had a lot of fun. which i am sure you have too. i have asked all my ex girlfriends why and what it is about me, but they were too polite to tell me, i reflected on the past and myself and tried to be a better person. and still i have had problems. look, sacrifice is all what it is about, and then you still never know. although it hurts and makes you wonder, whats wrong with me?, it is all normal. if you know deep down in your heart that you have tried your best, what else is left. some things work ,some do not. it just seems to me that you are a very intelligent person and love is going to take awhile due to the fact that you will not settle for second best, and this is perfectly fine. but i tell you, when you do find that special person, you will be able to trust them and they you, and that is really all it takes, and matters. TRUST. do you give them a reason not to trust you?

Answer 4

Well, based on your comments, I'd say you seem to be a bit self conscious and perhaps a bit rigid. I could be totally wrong, but you seem to analyze the hell out of yourself even to the most basic levels ( good hygiene, don't smell bad!!!!) Sweetie, if you are attractive and are as smart as you seem, go out there and flirt. Get sexy on someone and see what flies. Women today are aggressive as hell and men like it. It makes it easier for us to read you, at least a bit. Are you submissive? What I mean is do you sit there in the corner and wait for a guy to walk over and talk. That can happen but then you are limiting your prospects to those guys only. And your girlfriends... do they help you, encourage you, push you to talk to guys? That would help.
Tell you what....go out and buy a hot red or black dress, cut above the knees and low on the back. Match that with some sexy heels, let your hair down ( literally ) spray on some alluring perfume and make the guys crazy for you! It's pretty easy.
Or tight jeans with a sexy blouse and heels. YES! Go for it and
be yourself , smile and get sexy. And keep that good hygiene going too! '-)

Answer 5

Dont worry honey I can help you.
First, dont wait for a guy to come to you. Find someone you would like to get to know and make the first move.
How do you dress? If you dress like a nun (and nuns are good people dont get me wrong) then you will not attract a man. Dress provocatively and sexy.
On a scale of one to ten, ten being a sexy woman, how do you rate? If you hesitate for the answer or say less than nine you are in trouble. Get hot! get going, research about what men like and want. Lose weight or gain it. learn to smile and be seductive. You gotta work your stuff and strut your stuff, babe. I can teach you. I am 56 years old and been around the world with white, black and japapese women. I am married now.
e-mail me if you want and I'll take you through the steps--all above board of course i am happily married.
Now go go go! and dont feel sorry, be happy. Fix yourself up and then let yourself go!
Good luck
[e-mail]

Answer 6

I am sorry to hear that you are having difficulties dating. By your description you seem to be a really nice person. You have many, if not all, of the qualities that men look for. I am just curious as to why you do not have more long term relationships. Do the people you date ever give you reason(s) as to why they do not want to continue dating? Intimidation is one possible reason that they do not ask you out. Many men have trouble approaching women. How to talk to the opposite sex seems to be a popular question here.

Answer 7

nobody can answer that without meeting you and talking to you, but fist of all, do men know you're available? you should definitely be making eye contact with ones you think are sexy, and saying hi, etc. maybe you are afraid of failure with men, causing you to be shy? that could cause you not to initiate things. so send out some signals, if you can't tell whether a guy just wants to be friends, you might not be flirting enough. ask your friends to give you some tips. and maybe try dating online (you didn't mention whether you have). that way you can chat a while and talk on the phone first.

Answer 8

i worked with this girl that was like 32 i think and she is still a virgin and hardly has ever had a b/f but she isnt that ugly i mean if she let her hair down besides putting it up on her head and did her makeup a lil then she wouldnt be so bad but shes just weird though....but you dont seem weird. I worked with her about 1month ago i quit my job cause im moving but she seemed really nice all you gotta do is try alittle bit and then you will go far. good luck and that vet_vietnam guy looks nice...go for it!!! youve got nothing to loose!!!!!

Answer 9

That is a really hard question to answer when we don't know you personally and can only go on what you tell us. But to me, if you are attractive, nice job, not bitchy, etc., you should have no problem. So you either aren't coming off as friendly and people are afraid to approach you or you aren't all that pretty. But everyone has one person made for them in this world, you just have to be patient and find yours. I found mine online. They can be anywhere. I wish you good luck.

Answer 10

maybe these guys are afraid of you. well educated, well paid etc. Maybe you could go back to school to take a few courses in anything you like and wha-la you might just find what you are looking for. Me personally I love smart, successful women, someone I can talk to about a multitude of things.

Answer 11

Nothing is wrong with you.
You need to place yourself on the market. Go out in a sexy outfit and have fun. Try online dating. Trying speed dating. Try the blind date thing. Bars usually aren't the way to go.
The men you've dated just weren't right. You have to make yourself completely available. Go get a makeover and get out there.