I'm holding back from telling a shocking traumatic lie in response to a question I was just emailed from a guy I've worked with... The question was so personal and overstepping boundaries, it seriously offended me.
How do you respond? I'm really tempted to make up something traumatic so that next time he wants to ask an intrusive question he'll think twice!!!
2006-08-22 15:14:43 · 29 answers · asked by Jessie 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Ask him which position his mother used to conceive him. When he is shocked, let him know that since he felt he had the right to get personal, you thought you could answer some answered questions. He'll hate you but who cares, he's a dick.
2006-08-23 10:07:12 · answer #1 · answered by impatientone_2000 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whoa Jessie! Can you be sure he sent that email? My Yahoo address gets hijacked all the time. Today, for example, I got a reply from a mailer daemon that info'd me my mail was undeliverable...for an email I never sent...to a person I never knew.
Either way (if your coworker sent or not) a good reply might go like this:
"Hi [name],
I just got this email. Did you really send this or was your email address hijacked? I wonder because it doesn't sound like you and I find it kind of [or very] offensive."
Now, see, this approach is really nice because it 1.) tells how you feel and 2.) let's him off the hook a bit, whether he sent it or not. Then he can see it offends you, maybe won't do it again, and may help to preserve your relationship somewhat.
Now, of course, repeat offenses or an admission of guilt on his part would be a different story and calls for something else/more, I reckon. Point: I'm not suggesting that you just accept unnacceptable behavior. Let's have no confusion on that, please!
Everybody deserves the benefit of the doubt. I've gotten scolded pretty good for ASSuming someone was the actual sender of an email; I embarrassed myself. Now I know email gets hijacked daily and on a HUGE scale...
You may think, "well, it's from his work address...so must be him." But any LAN admn tech can have access. Your friend could be victim of an at-work scheme or prank. Some will go to great lengths to destroy another. He could have gotten careless with his work or home password. You just never know.
But either way, you might find the suggested format to the greatest benefit for all...
Best wishes on your decision.
_gene
2006-08-22 15:22:55 · answer #2 · answered by gene_frequency 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with him so that you do not have to deal with the drama anymore. Too many times people make things up to avoid telling the truth and end up with more drama than originally. I am not saying that you should tell him anything what I mean by this is tell him that you were offended that he would ask such a personal question and that you would apprieciate it if he allowed it to drop. Tell him that whatever it is, is very personal and that you do not share that kind of information about yourself. Tell him that you do not want to offend him but if he persist in asking you such things then you will do whatever is neccessary to get the point across. You do not have to be rude just firm and this way anytime he wants to ask you something he will think about it first and if he ever ask you something like this again all you have to say is "Too personal" I hope this helps.
2006-08-22 15:23:24 · answer #3 · answered by lvb524 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really knew what the questions was. Here are some thoughts though...
1. Why do you feel it is so important to know?..... Answer his question with a question.
2. Tell him I really do not feel comfortable discussing this with you. That is another option.
I could proably give you more if I knew the question he asked.
Also, do not tell him a lie it will come back to bite you.. It is really important not to lie!!!!!
2006-08-22 15:33:58 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. Mac 4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear this person did that to you,,
Be honest, don't hold back, say how you feel, cause if you lie, then its no better than him..
cause see you have the power.
then the fear of well will he stalk me or get crazy etc..
But to let him know off hand he has crossed a line, that is not for him to be close to, to begin with..he either will respect you and back up off,,,or,,,that depends on how well you know him..
not to mention you can take this letter to the boss, and show them that this is harassment,,,so you will be a safe way that way..and they can tell you correct measurements that way...
so if anything did happen to you,,,people know it was him...
best wishes..hope all is solved positive...
don't Lie be yourself,,and you will feel great inside,,
no one is worth ling to to make yourself feel that ickyness inside..
2006-08-22 15:26:06 · answer #5 · answered by BellyDancingDeva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't lie tell him you felt he has asked too personal a question and that you refuse to answer it.Cause he'll just keep asking these type of questions--I'll bet he knows he's crossed the line trying to get a response out of you.
2006-08-22 15:25:07 · answer #6 · answered by happytime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say if you like the guy or not. If he is prying, tell him to lay off. If he is geniunely interested and/or caring, be vague. Telling anyone a traumatic instance might be damaging to your relationship...maybe it might even upset you. Do it on YOUR terms and when YOU are ready.
Be careful and good luck.
2006-08-22 15:21:26 · answer #7 · answered by Chrissy: The Angry Typer a/k/a Mood Mole 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you must respond (don't feel like you have to since he was so rude), skim the subject by replying, "Why do you ask?" That may make him think again about his question. Otherwise, politely say "I'm sorry, I don't discuss such personal things with coworkers. I prefer to keep some things private."
2006-08-23 11:47:30 · answer #8 · answered by animal_mother 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't need to make anything up....something that tramatic as you say could become more personal than what the secret is....just answer him in a way that lets him know he's over stepped his bounderies....tell him that you aren't sure how or where he got the info but ...not true....or that he's way out of line asking something that personal to someone that's not that close to him....remember lies and fairytales are hard to remember....along the line they even get bigger...you will have to make up a nother lie to cover the one you maybe going to tell him....
2006-08-22 15:33:44 · answer #9 · answered by Chocolate_Bunny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best way to respond is to let him know that you don't feel comfortable talking about the subject with him. You might also tell him once you two know each other better, you may feel better talking to him about it. Don't lie. He will eventually find out, and may never trust you again.
2006-08-22 15:27:07 · answer #10 · answered by prettycute4u62040 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋