2006-08-22 15:14:00 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If she is helping to pay, she does have some right to an opinion. However, I would sit and talk to her and explain to her that, just like every other little girl, I have been planning my wedding in my head for years. Your dream and my dream are different, and I would like my day to be about my dream. That way, you can tell her how you feel without her feeling insulted.
2006-08-22 15:17:44 · answer #1 · answered by lilmizzaniml 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about communicating both with she AND your fiance.
If you don't feel comfortable telling her what you do and do not want, explain to your fiance what you do and do not want.
This is your wedding, but you do need to be gentle with her feelings. Ask her to help make the invitations or pick out flowers. Include her so she doesn't feel like she's losing her son.
And don't erupt at her because she wants things her way. Gently tell her that although you are excited to become her daughter-in-law and appreciate what she has to say, you have your mission and your own design. If she wants to pay for the wedding, she could have more reign.
2006-08-22 22:15:43 · answer #2 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I had the same problem. Tell your future hubby what you're feeling. My soon-to-be hubby at the time understood that it was to be "our" day and not "her" day. She went to the justice of the peace and got married, he was the only child. Tell him you are firm about making this wedding come off with both of your tastes (which are not the same as hers) and you'll be happy to talk to her but you do not want to hurt her feelings. Tell him you are afraid you might be taken a little "blunt" or "rude". Let him decide the best way to handle it - it's his mom. I think that's actually why the man's side doesn't have as much to do - they have to keep their mothers in check! Good luck with this one! (btw, you're going to have to compromise - my guest book girls looked like cheap oriental hookers because she saw the "perfect" dresses for them to wear but we didn't have to use anything iridescent or the home-made toasting glasses she brought over....)
2006-08-23 07:08:49 · answer #3 · answered by Kristi C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is YOUR wedding not hers. And the groom should put your feelings ahead of hers. If he is not willing to, perhaps you should reconsider... seriously, or postpone the wedding until an understanding is reached.
My mother-in-law wanted to pay for the dinner and have it in a less that appealing night club. I explained to my fiance that this was our wedding and that I preferred to have a nice buffet style dinner in the large reception hall adjacent to our church where we were married and that she (mom-n-law) was still welcomed to pay for it if she liked and if not we would take care of it ourselves. This worked and she payed for it and my husband respected me for helping us stand our ground against both sides of the family.
P.S. Do you and your fiance a favor and both of you agree together that you will not let either family meddle in your marriage. Because... IT IS YOUR MARRIAGE!!! God bless!
2006-08-23 04:15:15 · answer #4 · answered by MARTINEZ L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have the wedding that you want, not what your mother in law wants.. tell her how you feel and if she doesnt listen then disclude her from the planning and do it yourself!
2006-08-22 22:17:42 · answer #5 · answered by minx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can you type this question out in better english so i can answer it better , are you the mother inlaw? or are you talking about your mother in law?.
2006-08-22 23:50:55 · answer #6 · answered by lil_meex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
learn how to type then smack the ho
2006-08-22 22:16:14 · answer #7 · answered by ilstugotsil 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋