how do you talk to an alcoholic?

Question

partner talks no sense and admits to drinking everyday , knows he is throwing everything away including people who love him, he had a bad accident involving being drunk

Answer 1

It takes a long time to get through to them. Just keep trying. Don't get upset, keep your cool, and tell them how it makes you feel and what they are doing to you and everyone else around them. Try to reach thier gut. It's hard. I got through to my husband about a year ago and he's been doing great. Just always stay calm and collected. Best of luck.

Answer 2

talking to someone when they are drunk is usually like talking to a broken record, so I think its better to wait until they are somewhat clearer headed. They will probably be very remorseful after a binge, so try and not speak down to them.

They already feel very down, and are completely aware of the self destruction that they are in pursuit of.

Instead, focus on positive things that might come about, if they were to put some effort into improving themselves. Maybe talk about long range plans that you have shared. Then ask them to try and make a start, a small commitment to try and make progress.

Many people are wary of support groups, because they have been led to believe that they must get religion and a higher power in order to recover.

This is not so, in many alternative (non AA) support groups people can simply share in practical ideas with their peers about how to get and stay sober without the pressure to change their core beliefs.

Inside every drunk is a sober person. This is the good person that must be reinforced, not punished.

The best support is family, and many people can and do recover without support groups.

There are some great alternatives to AA (which in my opinion is a thing of the past, unless faith healing and witch doctors are your cup of tea)

SOS- Secular Organizations for Sobriety

LifeRing

S.M.A.R.T. Recovery

Rational Recovery

and more!

and if Religion is what you are looking for, I suggest going to your Church.

there are as many ways of getting sober as there are alcoholics.

Best Wishes and try and stay positive!

Answer 3

I'm sorry to say but unless your partner can admit to the drinking problem then you won't be able to get through to them. How ever you may be able to help ! If you feel that your partner is possible a threat to hurt you or someone else you can get a 24 hour hospital hold. You have to go to the police to get this! Then they can put them in a phsyc ward and evaluate this person and possible get them help . Like AA or other agencies! Unfortumatly you may hve to leave this person before they wake up or thay may not face it at all! Think of yourself here too!

Answer 4

Don't argue with a person who is drunk because it's only making the situation worse. Get yourself to the nearest al-anon group where all the members are or have been in your shoes. The support is fantastic and you will definitely learn more about the disease of alcoholism and how to deal with it. I found many lifelong friends in this organization and I found that going to open AA meetings also helped me a lot. Remember, no child ever says to his mother "Mummie, when I grow up I want to be an alcoholic."

Please give Al Anon a chance - you won't regret it and it will help you understand what your husband is going through.

You will be better able to decide whether you want to stay with him or leave him - either option is hard but by joining Al Anon you will have good friends to give you support whenever you need it.

Good luck, June

Answer 5

You can't. You have to look out for yourself. Go to al-anon. When you are looking out for yourself and not fighting your partner about the alcohol, you will see that you partner will flounder and have to face the alcohol problem. Remember, do not get in the way of the alcoholic hitting bottom. Also, remember, when you deal with the alcoholic and they are drinking, you are talking, arguing with the alcohol, not the person. Find an al-anon group near you, and look online for resources. Good luck. Remember, let go. It's the hardest thing to do, but the alcoholic has to face the responsibility themself. I'm not saying get out of the relationshiip, just don't anser when baited into an argument..remove yourself from the situation. Go see a movie, take a walk, visit a friend. Again, good luck.

Answer 6

Shackle em first, then gag em. Then drag em into an aa meeting for punishment. Members have to take any alcoholic referred by any source as long as they are "manageable" The twisted new fellowship and "program" of alcoholics anonymous is now loaded with cons and predators, and is neither alcoholics or anonymous anymore so be careful cuz the courts have made it a mandatory form of punishment.

Answer 7

from personal experience, it sounds like he needs an intervention. you and others that care about him (family and friends) need to sit him down in a non-threatening environment and be honest with him. tell him you are concerned that he is throwing his life away, risks losing his job, and is putting others in danger by driving drunk. tell him if he continues driving drunk and hurts someone, or damages property, either he could be killed and if not, he could end up in jail for a very long time. espress your concern and tell him that you just want to see him live a long healthy life and that you would all like to see him get some help. during this, you need to tell him that you all support him if he chooses to go to rehab of any sort. some of you may need to go through parts of rehab (such as counseling or al-anon) with him and assure him that you will do whatever it takes to see him succeed. i had to do this with my dad twice, and i also have had to participate in many interventions with patients at work, so just letting the person know you are doing this because you care and are concerned and showing them compassion throughout is key. so is offering support and laying things out for the person in a simple fashion so that they understand the danger of drinking to their health, others' safety, and to his ultimate well being.

Answer 8

There's no way to get through to alcoholics. They will not quit. And they are always in denial. Most of the time it kills them. Either you have to stay with him and put up with it, or move on and find someone else who will treat you like you deserve to be treated. Like a queen. You wont get that from an alcoholic.

Answer 9

Unfortunately, he has to bottom out on his/her own, and it may take years. Sometimes it might not happen at all ( I've had two people die of alcohol-related illnesses in the past 5 months).Your best bet is to set boundaries with this person and STICK to them ( e.g., you will not go buy liquor for them, or you will not give them the money they need for it when they're broke) so you don't lose your own self-respect and enable them to continue their behavior.

Answer 10

Do not...I repeat...DO NOT try to rationalize with a drunk. You should go to an Alcohol Anonymous support group for family of alcoholics and learn how to deal with the problem from the professionals.