My bf and I have been going through this dilema for about the past week. Where he wants to move to NC at first he said he wanted me to go, but not right when he went because he didnt want to wait two months for me to go because of job, bills, etc related things. There is no reason for him to go so soon, NONE. He could wait for me, he just said he didnt want to. Then after an argument a day later he turned to me in the car and said he wanted me to go with him because he would miss me way to much and that he loves me. Last night he was talking about moving to a smaller apartment for now, and I thought it was because we could save more money to go together, then I find out today, its so he can get his deposit for the apartment to take with him. Now hes saying he never wanted me to go at all, telling me he only said he wanted me to go so I wouldnt b%^ch at him before going. He seems to switch to me not wanting to go when we argue, when we are fine again, he wants me to go. Wtf is going on?
2006-08-22 13:18:51 · 11 answers · asked by Konjo Nashi Pirate™ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We've been together 5 years. We've had our arguments etc, and blow outs, but we always made up. I don't understand how he could just want to leave me here for two months and not see me for me to move when he tells me he's ready.
2006-08-22 13:24:57 · update #1
I really don't hound him, in the beginning I did. But when he said he didn't want me to go, I stopped completely and told him that if that's what he wanted then fine, because I do not control him. That's when a day later he told me he would miss me too much and wanted me to go. He only changes his mind it looks like when we argue. And I swear I don't start the arguments lately. If we fight he tells me, I can't wait till I break up with you and go. Wtf, I haven't done anything,
2006-08-22 13:29:19 · update #2
If he wants to go, I'm not going to try and control him or tell him no. If he goes, then that's just it I guess. I don't like playing this hurtful game. Even if he went for just a visit, I won't let him come back to me if he ever wanted to, just because he put me through all of this grief. There have been times in the relationship where we will break up for a day, and he will go out and have his fun, to come back and say sorry and not feel guilty. That's why if he goes just to visit now, he won't come back.
2006-08-22 13:37:36 · update #3
move with him only when you marry him ...not before..... save yourself more arguments with him
2006-08-22 13:22:55 · answer #1 · answered by JTB 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm figuring that this guy wants milk without buying the cow so to speak.He wants to get all the perks of being in a relationship without having to do any of the work.Clearly the fact that he is talking about moving to an apartment smaller without you is a sign he wants out of your relationship and is hoping that you will end it so he doesn't look like the jerk.He may consider a long distance relationship would be better for him because you wouldn't be around to watch what he does.I suggest sitting down and having a talk but make sure you are not forcing him into anything.I think/believe that if this guy really loved you as much as he claimed then he wouldn't change his mind about you moving,moving to a smaller apartment without you,or moving to NC without you and then have you come later because later is not going to come.
2006-08-22 20:24:30 · answer #2 · answered by movin12006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is conflicted because he can't bring himself to break up with you. To be charitable, he may be really confused about the issue, and anxious about it at the same time. He may want two entirely different things at the same time, namely independence and security. Ask him about this stuff. Couples counseling might help.
2006-08-22 20:23:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should give him a while to make up his mind. Stop hounding him so much. Let him think about it on his own. When he figures it out he will tell you.
2006-08-22 20:21:50 · answer #4 · answered by Cocoa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would ditch him at this point unless you are in a serious committed relationship. No one who changes their mind repeatedly will be a good husband later on.
2006-08-22 20:21:37 · answer #5 · answered by cheer8ko 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he probably would miss u but does not want u around all the time
2006-08-22 20:22:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hes still very undecided about what he wants for himself. read more on relationships and love that will help you on this site
2006-08-22 20:21:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's so ambivalent, why do you even want to go?
2006-08-22 20:23:36 · answer #8 · answered by LSD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck with all that....
2006-08-22 20:22:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your boyfriend, is he the rapist? do not move in with rapist!
2006-08-22 20:20:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋