Why is my 12 year old daughter running after 17-21 year old men? What should I do? I've tried everything.?

Question

She has been going on blackplanet behind my back and faked like she was 17...give me some advice what should i do?

Answer 1

Dont' be a sissy. First of all, let's answer the first question:

1) Your daughter likes older dudes because girls like older dudes. every child wants to be an adult, and girls, being so mature at 12, take that into other parts of their lives. They like boys, they like adults...wah-lah.

2) Take the computer away from her. Talk to her about not being a whore. Tell her you are ashamed of her. Hurt her feelings, and, most important, whoop her ***. All this teary eyed, cry-baby "how do you feel" junk won't work, because she's 12!!!! She thinks she knows more than you! You "don't understand". She a little kid and kids are stupid, and they'll contuinue to be stupid until they gain some personal experiences. It's YOUR JOB TO DEFINE WHAT THOSE EXPERIENCES WILL BE!

Beat her, take the computer, tell her why she's acting like a whore, and tell her you're ashamed.

Not only are you capable of solving this problem, but you'd better, before she gets raped.

Answer 2

It is not easy but you are the parent she is the child.
She needs rules.
All kids will try bending the rules but it is the parents job to keep the reigns on.
Is there something she loves to do like sport or dancing maybe hobby of some sort volunteer work for young people maybe you could guide her this way.
It is not easy today but stick with it.
She may "Hate" you for a while but when she is older and takes a look at what could have happened but didn't because you used tough love she will thank you.
A sixteen year old I know of is going through that now, where she is seeing what could have happened to her if she had been let to have the freedom she so desperately wanted a couple of years back.
She is thankful that the oldies knew best .
Take care!

Answer 3

It sounds like just grounding her isn't gonna be enough at this point.

What I would do is don't ground her, don't suspend her use of the computer, just take her to a presentation about what younger girls get into when they're involved with "17-21 year olds". They do them all over the place and they may very well have slide shows (but many of which contain very graphic images if they are not edited to reinforce the point). Then once you get back let her do whatever she wants to. Even though she may very be a bit paranoid it's the safest thing for her.

Answer 4

I would sit her down and explain to her that 17-21 men are way to old for her. And if they have sex with her, it's considered statutory rape. That they could end up in jail. I would set rules and boundaries. Does she have a father? Where is he through all this? If she has one, it's important you both be strict and keep lines of communication open. Stay on her case, make sure she is home when she is expected to be home. If she isn't, call the cops. If it continues, put her in a detention center. If she isn't going to listen to you and you can't make her listen, at least she can be in a safe environment where 17-21 year old men won't be doing things with her. And you won't have to worry about where she is all hours of the night.

Answer 5

You have to remember that you are the parent. First set up restrictions on the computer so she cannot access those sites. Second, learn to communicate with her. She may be feeling unloved and feels she needs to look elsewhere. Third, hand out some "tough love" to her. Take away her computer privileges or other things if she does not comply. She is only 12. You need to start parenting now before she gets older.

Answer 6

You can set up your computer to restrict her level to a kid's level. She won't be able to access adult areas. Set it up so that she cannot use it without YOU signing into the system. She'll end up raped or pregnant before growing out of this. Beat her a s s - my parents sure would have for that, and it works in some households. In my day it was called discipline. And 12 year olds were thinking of friends, the mall, music, sports, what kid was cute... They just weren't watching smut or trying to hook up with adults.

Answer 7

If your 12 year old is behaving this way it is a huge red flag!!!! How have you raised her? What home environment has she grown up in ? Did you bring lots of men home? where are you now while this is going on? This is classic behavior found in sexually molested children. You need help and she needs help. She is a victim. How dare you say you have done everything.I should venture to say you have done nothing.

Answer 8

take time to talk to her and see why she is taking this action as some of the others have said most girls who go after older guys are looking for a father figure that is not to say that all these girls are but most of them i am one of those girls that goes after older men i was in a secret relationship for 4 yrs with a man that was more than twice my age dont take it too hard and dont be too hard on her explain to her that age is just a number but that she needs to wait until she is older to chase these boys show her the interesting things in her life not the ones that were in your life when you were her age but the ones that are in her life now and let her know the consequences of what can happen if she does something with one of these boys/men

Answer 9

You haven't mentioned a husband, but girls like that are trying to replace the love of a father with physical intimacy.

You may have to take a hard line like having her arrested and put in juvenile detention. Offer her the opportunity to talk with a councellor (school or professional).

This Lolita is dealing with a great deal of pain.

Answer 10

She'll feel like she's 83 once she turns 17. Maybe she just likes guys around that age. Hopefully when she passes the 17-21 age, she won't like them anymore and like someone around her age.