they wont share eachothers toys, they hit eachother, and my four year old thinks i love the baby more!!
help, what could i do to make them just get along???
2006-08-22 12:45:33 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
spend alittle more time with the 4 year old WITHOUT tyhe baby! have some one on one time and dont let the baby interupt it. and let him do more stuff than the little one. i hate it when i cant do stuff becuz my bros to young and he probly feels the same! also they are going to fight. they are siblings and it happens. make sure they dont realy hurt each other but alittle bickering hre and there wont hurt them.
2006-08-22 12:50:16 · answer #1 · answered by rocknrollskwurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they're hitting each other, you've already let then go way too far and you're slipping into neglect.
What you need to do:
1. Immediately punish each of them in an age-appropriate manner EACH AND EVERY TIME they fight. If you slack in the least, you lose.
2. During a calm time, explain to your older child that her younger sister is less mature than she and she has to give her some leeway in behavior; tell her "to set a good example and show her how to behave instead of how not to".
3. Give rewards for good behavior, such as a dessert after dinner if they make it a full day without fighting; DO NOT BRIBE GOOD BEHAVIOR - REWARD AFTER IT HAPPENS.
4. Do not ignore or avoid intervening when arguments break out; there is a point where they leave "sibling rivalry/typical behavior" and enter the realm of "I'm learning to get my way through violence and I'm going to wind up in jail by high school because this is how I learned it."
Think about how your fighting daughters will look like when they're teenagers; now picture them doing it with a stranger....now picture the stranger being an adult.
Got it?
2006-08-22 12:57:41 · answer #2 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What happens with your 4 year old is that she is jelous of the baby.
Probably without you knowing you are dedicating more time to the baby. Try to have your 4 year old to participate on all the care the baby needs, for example, have her help you bathe and feed the baby. After the task is acomplished, praise you 4 year old for what she's done and tell her she's done a great job, that she is a big sister that knows how to take care of the baby.
Tell her stories of when she was born, and how special that moment was to you. Tell her she is very special because she is your first baby. Play more with her, after all she understands more than what the baby understands now.
Teach her the importance of sharing. There are very nice ilustrated books about baby Jesus, get some of those and read them to her. Be creative and loving to her.
A lot parents think that the kids are bad, it is actually the other way around, we parents make a lot of mistakes specially with the first born. Thank God you are a good concern mother and ask questions.
I recommend for you to listen to Dr. Laura on radio on 640 AM. KFI Radio TAlk. She can help you a great deal. 1800 drlaura
2006-08-22 13:01:32 · answer #3 · answered by Mother of three 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not an easy way to do this. Both are at the age where they have few skills to solve problems so they need a lot of supervision and structure. You need to have planned activities and simple rules for them to follow. For an 18 month old, you would, for example, not let them take toys away from someone else. For a 4 year old you would be helping them learn to share. The other thing I would suggest is when they misbehave, give them both a consequence. For example, if the 4 year old hits...she might have to: Take a few minutes to calm down away from play and then say, "I am sorry". Then, you might say to the 18 mo old. I know it makes you sad that you and sissy fight,,you need to give her a hug now. (IF your 18 mo old is verbal it would be even better for her to have to say...I am sorry we had a fight...). Good luck!
2006-08-22 12:57:14 · answer #4 · answered by Libby 44 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
kids will be kids! but some time you should take out just the four year old to some where she likes and spend time with her every once in awhile. for sharing you can demenstrate sharing or something. find something that would be fun for the both of them together. go swimming or to an amusement park something they can have fun at together.
2006-08-22 12:52:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would your 4yr think that you love the baby more..don't disregard her feelings. A lot of times the older one gets in trouble for everything. Just be fair. If your truly fair there shouldn't be a jealousy issue and hopefully they'll stop fighting.
2006-08-22 12:52:22 · answer #6 · answered by Sydney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try a television show that they both like... or what u can is have them both do something around the house so they don't have time to argue.. and there never gonna share w/ each other unless they learn to share w/ other kids first its the hardest thing to share w/ a sibling first
2006-08-22 12:53:57 · answer #7 · answered by goofeyd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just wait till they are teenagers and adults & they try to get you in the middle of their dumb fights. Best Wishes
2006-08-22 13:02:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure your paying enough attention with them separately.
2006-08-22 13:14:22 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel Bitchface 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
involve the elder in some household chores and younger one in some simple games
2006-08-22 12:47:34 · answer #10 · answered by DEAR T 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋