Please bear with me. Okay here's the situation: You're dating a person and you both agree that your relationship should be serious and you date exclusively. You're bf/gf now and you call yourselves a couple, but you didnt exchange 'I love you's' yet and you dont really feel 'love'. How long would you stay in the relationship before starting to worry about the 'I love you' part? specially that it's a serious relationship? 'Love' is a huge issue in this relationship, there's no sex, it should be based on love so if it's not there, shouldnt we consider moving on? But how long do you think one should wait? I'm not asking for a time limit, but shouldnt there be some kind of sign to show if there will possibley be love?
2006-08-22 12:35:48 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
BTW I'm the female.
2006-08-22 12:39:58 · update #1
If you feel love, but you aren't sure if they feel the same love too, then just hold it in. Say "I really like you" to relieve some of the tension. When love happens, it happens, you can't rush it, you just have to be patient. If it has been about a month and a half to two months with no "I love you's", then the problem should be discussed seriously with the other person.
2006-08-22 12:40:31 · answer #1 · answered by general_stamey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"You're bf/gf now and you call yourselves a couple, but you didnt exchange 'I love you's' yet"
Well if you both agreed to this then it seems there is some commitment, huh? I'm guessing you at least like each other and are fond of sharing time together. It depends how long you've been "a couple" too. If it's been a couple weeks then give it a chance. You also didn't mention your age. If you've been a couple for a few months I'd say you were just friends at this point. Do you have the feeling when you are apart that you can't wait to be with each other? Do you constantly think of her/him? If you don't feel these things it's time to reconsider things. Being a couple and being exclusive is more than just saying it.
2006-08-22 12:41:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Serious answer:
Depends on how you define "love" and what your expectations are. If, like a great deal of our current culture, you define "love" as an emotion, feeling or the like, I sincerely think you've got the wrong end of the stick to begin with.
I'll be married 20 years in January. From my less-than-definitive experience, I would suggest that love is best defined as a willful, conscious commitment to place another's best interests ahead of your own. It's the commitment to do (a verb), not a commitment to feel - because the feelings wax and wane over time - ask ANY married couple (who aren't still newlyweds).
That being said, is there any real attraction? Is there mutual respect? If there are both of those things, but you're sort of waiting for some Hollywood-style thunderbolt to hit, I would humbly suggest you've been sold a bill of goods - and that an awful lot of people have made very poor marriage commitments based upon transient feelings.
I realize this may not necessarily help you, but maybe it will provide some food for thought as you evaluate your current relationship. That's about all I can hope for in a Yahoo! Answer.
2006-08-22 12:41:31 · answer #3 · answered by Timothy W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should wait until you get married, have two kids, and then get a divorce because you realize you don't love each other. If you are not in love with each other at least a little bit, what are you wasting your time for? Me, personally, I'd be long gone. If I'm not even a little bit in love with someone, I'm not going to waste my time staying in a relationship that is pretty much dead. No sense in not remaining friends and spending time together, though.
2006-08-22 12:44:00 · answer #4 · answered by Nc Jay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your guts instinct. That's your best advice, and it comes from you. Why do you date exclusively if there's no love? Why date at all? Keep it movin'. Better to be friends with benefits than a couple with no love or sex.
"There are only 3 questions of value in life Don Octavio: What is sacred?; Of what is the spirit made of? What is worth living for?; and What is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only LOVE" -Don Juan DeMarco
Follow your heart.
2006-08-22 12:47:21 · answer #5 · answered by WWJD: What Would Joker Do? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A serious relationship involves love. If you are going to date exclusively then you should sit down with each other and discuss how exclusive you plan to be. How can this be a serious relationship if you don't even know if you love the other person?
2006-08-22 12:43:34 · answer #6 · answered by cindy m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SM thinks you should feel the love already if you are dating exclusively and serious. But everyone has different tolerances in a relationship.
2006-08-22 12:40:39 · answer #7 · answered by Obsean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first you have to know each others TRUE feelings! I mean love is a STRONG word and its taken for granite A LOT! I say wait a lil while, and see! Or you can say it and she what you get back in reply. My suggestion, is not to move on so quickly though. Good luck, i hope it works out for ya!! May God Bless You!!
2006-08-22 12:40:29 · answer #8 · answered by countrysoonergurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u dont feel love and the other person doesnt show that he/she loves u then i would move on what is the point if ur just going out 2 say u have a bf/gf? im not saying its bad but if there is no love connection yet then there might not ever be one.
2006-08-22 12:38:42 · answer #9 · answered by michelle 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
love takes time, just ask yourself this, do you really like him? do you like being with him? then its worth a shot, saying on the outside that the relationship is "serious" doesnt mean that you feel like it is on the inside, just have fun and dont worry about the "i love you" until you've been dating for a few months (say like three or perhaps four) if your not feeling anything more than friendship after that long, then you need to call it quits.
2006-08-22 12:38:13 · answer #10 · answered by Xavier's Mommy ツ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋