Wedding Problems I really need help!?

Question

My wedding is within 3 weeks. My side of the family everyone RSVPand that no kids are ok but my Finace's family didn't at all. We speeled out on every invite Mr and Mrs. so we didn't want kids being there. So the problem now is that my fiance's family wants their side to bring kids. My parents are paying for the wedding and they don't want kids at all none. So my problem is telling his side they don't listen no matter what you tell them. I am the bride I don't care who is there anyways. But my parents are saying and thats the end of the story pretty much.

We are in the middle now what should we do? His dad doesn't understand on bit. Help me please I have not slept in days.

Answer 1

I dont want children under the age of 6 at my wedding in March. They can be distracted, make noise and whatever. BUT since most out of town guests will be bringing children with I have arranged to have a room set uyp for all young children complete with sitters, movies, games toys and food. I decided against having the menu for the kids being the same as adults so I modified it. Kids will be able to enjoy pizza, chicken strips, fries, juice, milk and deserts. They will be taken care of the whole time within feet of the whole deal.

I first ran my idea past those who have the younger kids. They were all for it, and i received many compliments on being considerate of others. Some of my guests said that would be a great idea so they can focus on the wedding, and not have to worry about running to change the baby or have them break into crying fits.

Some of the teenagers/older kids who dont want to sit can also go in the room and hang out until the party..

In that sense I am not discluding those who have kids, who make up a significant part of the invitees...

Answer 2

I agree with one other person on here...Take some time for just you and your better half then tackle this in the morning.

The best thing to do is to have an open line of communication with your parents. If you need a third party involved such as your event planner, Preacher, Reverend, even one your parents close friends that you can communicate with sometimes an outside party can show someone just how unreasonable they are being.

They need to be reminded this is YOUR day, it doesn't matter if it is "their money". You are their daughter and they should not bring a negative attatchment to your side of the family right off the bat with the whole "No children allowed" tag on the invitations.

The other thing you could do is have two ceremonies (yes, it has been done) one just for your parents then the second right after that one with your husband's side of the family involved children and all. It really doesn't involve that much extra time and if you explain to your wedding officiant/Pastor what is going on I'm sure they will stick around just so they won't have a bride in tears.

What about the reception following? Have your parents stated they didn't want children there too?

I'm wondering if they are thinking this is their day and not yours....

One last option, you can always elope then have a formal ceremony with your families at a later time.

Answer 3

First thing, shut off the phone, take a bubble bath, cuddle with your fiance, and get a good night sleep. Nothing needs to be done until morning and you need to relax.

Family is family and you are marrying into a family that values children. Did you run your guest list by you in-laws? If you did and they said nothing then, then they should have nothing to say now. Some alternatives might be getting a babysitter to watch the kids during the wedding and reception (call a high school guidance office or college career center for recommendations). For $200 you can have a situation where all are happy. If possible (depending on your location), get a room with a TV and tons of coloring books and toys. You can then call all of the parents (or have your fiance do it) and explain that you will be having a babysitter during the wedding and reception, but because of financial reasons and an open bar (if there is one) that you do not want children to attend). You can also ask your in-laws to cover it (best coming from your fiance) that if there are going to be kids present, they are going to have to help pay for them. If they don't want to do that, then have them call their family to tell them that kids are unable to attend.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

I would try explaining the problem to your parents..Whatever parent you are closest to first...Let them know how upset you are with all of this..Make sure that you tell them you appericate them paying for your wedding and that your not wanting to hurt them in any way but that you also don't want to start things off with your new extended family on the bad side..Besides the kids will be family too...Let your parents know that you don't care who brings their kids no matter what side of the family...I was invited to a wedding that I couldn't take my children to and I refused to go...Everyone in the family was hurt that I didn't go..(it was the brides idea for no kids) I also lost respect for her too because she was always trying to act like she was so into the whole family thing..(she wouldn't let her own kids be at her wedding)..SO if the no kids at the wedding sticks make sure that everyone who has kids knows that it's not you or your soon to be hubby's idea for no children to be there...Let them know that personaly you feel the more the marrier! But that however your rents are paying and with how close the date is you are stuck between a rock and a hard place...With any luck somone somwhere will give! I hope all works out for you!

Answer 5

Hire a babysitter (or two) to come to site that you're having the wedding at. Find a room (if it's a hotel, it's easy) for her to be in.

Send an email out to everyone who you think might bring their kids and say that although you love their children, the wedding isn't a place for them, but if it's a problem to make other arrangments for them, please feel free to drop them off with Kristen (or whatever her name is - and give a little info about her).

(to be nice to the babysitter, I'd also mention that you're going to be paying for her to be there all night, but she WILL be watching quite a few kids, so anyone who leave their kids with her should feel free to tip her.)

that way, it's no longer on issue of finding a babysitter and if someone happens to bring a kid, you can politely say "oh, the babysitter is hanging out with all the kids in the other room - let me have someone show you where that is."

Good Luck!!

Answer 6

I know you do not want to hear kids in the background but come on I think it is a little heartless to say no kids at all. People feel insulted when you invite them but dont want there kids there. It makes them think you do not like there kids. maybe these people do not have babysitters. most people get married on saturday and it becomes a all day event with the wedding and reception and that would cost some money to get a babysitter for all day. But its your party you should say what you want no matter who is paying for it. put your foot down on what ever it is you want. keep in mind if they have kids they will either show up with them or none of them will show.

Answer 7

I whole heartedly agree with your parents. It's too expensive to have kids at a wedding and they can be very disruptive. Your fiance needs to call HIS family and tell them:

"I'm sorry but there seems to be some confustion with your response. It lists 4 people coming to the wedding but we only invited you and John. Since Sally's parents are paying for the whole wedding, we aren't having children due to the cost."

This is your fiance and his parents responsibility to fix this problem since their family is so rude. It is beyond tacky to invite extra people to someone's wedding.

Answer 8

It would be very unfair if you let his side bring kids but told your side that they couldn't. This was a decision that was made, and you can't change it now.

Someone has to personally call these guests and explain to them (very nicely) that this is an adults-only wedding and reception. It doesn't matter who calls, though; you and your fiance can make these calls. But they need to be made soon, since some people will decline altogether and you need time for them to find babysitters.

Answer 9

1) Talk to your parents. Why are they so anti-child?
2) Talk to your fiance--it's 3 weeks to the wedding, plane tickets have been purchased, and that's that. Ask HIM to call his relatives, and look into hiring a babysitter. While you may not want kids, you probably will get them.

I think this calls for a sit-down conversation with BOTH sets of parents.

Answer 10

Make a quick call to your in-laws. or have your mother do it and stress that you will not only not pay for children but they will be turned away at the door to save themselves the embarrassment they should just respect your wishes and not bring children it's your day and what you say should go and go hire yourself a bouncer to enforce the rule if having it in a hall they should be able to get you in contact with a real burly guy..... by the way congratulations and enjoy your day!!!!!!! so your parents don't have to flip the bill for kids who are only going to say i want a peanut butter and jelly sand which later for that....... and No Kids allowed....