Why does my friend love her boyfriend?

Question

He hits her and makes her cry but then cuddles and hugs my friend after she always forgives him and i wanted to tell on him but she said she'll hate me if i tell because she loves him but i'm scared what should i do and why is she like that?

Answer 1

she's insecure!

Answer 2

Your friend needs some serious help if he is being so abussive to her.As an EMT,I see many cases where women are abused,they all feel that things will change and always go running back to him.Alot of these cases have accounted for some serious hurt women.

I would advise you to try talking to her and tell her that you are reporting this to the school counselor ,parent or someone that can take action.She may be upset at you for doing this but let her know that some day he could seriously injure her or even could kill her and let her know that you are only doing this because you care for her and do not want to see her harmed.

Even if means risking a friendship,this needs to be reported.It may take her a while to fully understand why you reported him but once she wakes up and sees the light,then she will also know that you are a true friend.In the mean time,while she is upset with you for reporting him,just let her know that you do care and that you are there for her if she needs to talk.

good luck and god bless

Answer 3

Talk to your friend and her boyfriend. Say that those who are in love do not abuse each other. Force them to make a vow that if he hits her one more time then your friend would consider that as a meaning that her boyfriend doesn't like her, If she is still adamant, tell them that the actions that you do are a symbol about how much you care for her. Threaten that you may even call the police if you can't stand this abuse. Be strong, confident and don't let your friend get hurt! Also, tell your friend that he may ask her to forgive him but she may have to endure years of physical and mental pain. Don't make the same mistakes as these type of couples make!

Answer 4

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" - John Heywood

People have to decide things for themselves. All you can do is be a good friend. Be there when she needs you. Gently tell her to leave but don't force the issue or she will push you away. She has to come to the conclusion that this guy isn't for her on her own. an epiphany. Until then just be her friend and help her in anyway you can.

Answer 5

Certain people have a tendency to cling to others wether if they're good or bad. If he's hitting her I think you need to let someone know so that they can get help. You don't want your friend to end up badly hurt or even dead. Even if she ends up hating you, that's what you've got to risk. In the end when she matures and past her naive stage, she will forgive you and love you for what you've done.

Answer 6

She doesn't love him because she doesn't love herself. I know she's your friend but she's an idiot. If a guy hits you once, that's enough to leave him. Mostly men that hit women do it because that gives him a sensation of power; your friend, allowing him to do that, is showing him that he had the power to do even bad things to her.
You don't tell me how old she is, but imagine they got married and have kids: why would stop that maniac to hit them too?
If you really are her friend, tell her family; tell the police. You might saving her as well other future victims of this nutcase.

Answer 7

I've been in her situation. I was with a man who constantly cheated on me, raised his hand to me a few times, and said some very hurtful things. I never understood why I put up with it for so long until I had actually moved on. I wanted the attention. I thought, "Well if he gets mad at me then he must really care.." I really did think that he cared about me, because after the fight he'd hold me and say he was sorry, and that he'd never do it again.

Your friend will not hate you, she'll just think that you're trying to ruin her happiness. You can't make her realize that she's in a bad situation until she wants to believe it.

She probably has lost her self respect, and she probably has no confidence, or she has a poor self image. The physical and emotional abuse can make you think that you're not good enough to move on, it makes you think that you don't deserve to be truly happy, or respected.

I was in a relationship like that for two years, and it really brought me down. I felt like I wasn't good enough to find someone who would love me, respect me, and be faithful.

She won't get over him until she's been away from him for a period of time. She should check her situation and really think about what the future holds for both of their actions. She's not "innocent" from all of this just because he hits her. She's allowing herself to be in that situation. She's going to have to realize that she is a person, and that every person deserves to be happy and taken good care of, not hit. If she stays in that situation, she obviously will deserve what is coming. ANY ABUSE is WRONG and shouldn't be taken lightly, much less "ignored" by just going with it.

It was hard for me at first to be parted from him (my life revolved around him, and that was 'fine'. I'd put up with the abuse because I thought I "loved" him, but LOVE doesn't hurt), but I started doing things for myself, I realized that I was good enough for someone else, that I am beautiful, and that I deserve RESPECT.

Just try to talk to her, she should be aware of what's going on. She doesn't deserve to be taken for granted, or disrespected. Be her friend and stick by her. She'll eventually find out, let's just pray it's not the hard way.

Good luck.

Answer 8

You should talk to her and explain to her why its not OK for him to beat her like he does. If she still doesn't understand you have # options:

1) call the police, 2) tell someone that has more influence on her and let them handle the problem, 3) Be a bad friend and let her get beat on.

I think your friend lets him beat on her like she does because she feels like he's the only person that loves her.My friend had and may still have this problem.We're working on that know.

Answer 9

you need to try and educate her on the facts of abusive relationships, and how studies show that these situations only turn for the worse the majority of the time.
let her know that love doesnt hurt, relationships are built on trust and respect for one another, and if there is physical or verbal abuse going on there is no respect.
she should get out before her family ends up having to spend money on a funeral, because her so called boyfriend takes her life over some petty reason, educate her out of love.

Answer 10

It sounds like she is in a co-dependent relationship. For whatever reason, she feels like she needs to be with him and no-doubt he gets off on hurting her. Have you asked your friend why she is with him? You can always report him without telling anyone that it was you. It'll take her to make the final decision to leave him, but if he is seriously injuring her then I think getting him away from her is more important right now.

Answer 11

doesn't want to be alone , has self esteem issues. Perfers familiarity over the unknown. You can say whatever you want to say to her until you're are blue in the face . Ultimately its her decision Depending on the severity of her injuries , the best you can do is alert the police. I was in a relationship very similar to what your friend was in , because I didn't want to be alone and I thought that nobody cared about me. I was living with my dad passed away and my mom had kicked me out. I had to live on my own and I hated it. I put up with things like cheating and getting kicked around when I wouldn't do things that he wanted me to do. I began to look around at other people's relationships and saw that they weren't like that . In the end I did end up alone , he was engouh of a bad boy that he managed to get himself in trouble with the law and be permanetly booted out of this country. She needs to look a other people's relationships , both of them need to seek conseling. Her so she can be more assertive and him so he doesn't do that to anyone now or in the future.