how do i get my 1 and 2 year old toddlers to stop destroying the house?

Question

throwing the pillows every were,taking clothes out of the dresser,pouring there milk or juice perposly on the floor (etc. it drives me nuts!

Answer 1

DISCIPLINE! Kids these days are so obnoxious and horrible because mothers are afraid to scold them. Think of how they'll act in another 10 years....Good lord.

Answer 2

*Sigh* Unfortunately, this is normal (though not acceptable) toddler behavior. Like a previous poster mentioned, they are discovering cause & effect while attempting to assert their independence. However, there do need to be limits & rules. Very young children literally Can Not remember rules for long periods of time, so you will need to constantly (and consistently) remind them. Simple, clear rules are best. Try to figure out what the behavior is that they are wanting to do - pour, throw, fit inside something, jump, etc - and replace it with an acceptable alternative. For example, "Pillows stay on the couch. If you want to throw, you can throw the squishy ball." or "Milk stays in the cup, but you can pour the sand when we go outside in a few minutes."

If they insist on the inappropriate behavior, BE CONSISTANT. Time-outs and taking things away don't work, because young children have an average attention span of 3-5 minutes. They do not have the cognitive ability to "think about what you did" until close to age 7. Instead, try using a research based method called Love & Logic. Offer two equally acceptable choices. A big part of being a toddler is wanting to be independent and do things for themselves. Offering choices allows them to do this while you stay in control. For example "Do you want to throw your squishy ball or your soft orange ball?" "Do you want to put the shirts back in the dresser or the pants back in the dresser?" Either one they choose is OK with you and they get the feeling of power & self-confidence from making their own decisions.

I have taught toddlers for 5 years, have a teaching certification and a MS in Education. I now work as the Educational Speciliast for a Head Start program that serves children in 75 classrooms over a ten county area. Just give it a try & be consistent. It WILL work!

Answer 3

I don't mean to sound rude, but this is normal toddler behavior. They are exploring their environment and learning cause and effect. I do agree with whoever said that you need to spend more time with them. They shouldn't be left unsupervised long enough to get into so much. Go to the hardware store and buy the clips or latches that go on dresser drawers so they can't open them. Redirect them when they begin to do something wrong, and say, "Let's go play with the blocks, we do NOT throw pillows". Time outs don't really work before age 2 or 2 1/2, and spanking is NOT productive at all. You'll only be teaching them to hit to get their own way.

I never allowed my daughter to carry a sippy cup or bottle around the house with her. Drinking time was done at the table, PERIOD. Not only does it prevent messes all over the house, but you can keep track better of how much they are drinking.

You should do some "quiet" activities with them, like reading, building with blocks, Little People.... and then take them outside to play for a while. Let them run around, giggle and laugh. Afterwards, come in, wash up, then all sit together at the table to have a drink, then do some quiet activity again. If you make that a routine or habit, they will start to connect a "calm" environment inside, and a bit of a wilder environment outside. You need to be patient though, it won't happen overnight.

You may want to consider toning down the level of noise in the background of your home too. Don't leave the TV on all day, don't always have a radio on. Quiet atmospheres promote "calmness" (think about the Library or when you go for a relaxing massage)

I noticed that the people who tend to run around their homes in a frenzy (I'm talking the parents here, not the kids) who are always in a hurry, with that "go, go, go" urgency constantly, are the ones with the kids who are more rowdy. Not in every instance, I'm sure, but it seems to be "typical". Try to do things in a relaxed manner. Don't always "rush" to dress them, "rush" out the door, "rush" through the grocery store, "rush" to answer the phone, "rush" to get dinner on the table.... try being more laid back; almost the way you'd be on vacation. It truly does work (it did for me) and it also helps you maintain your sanity and gives you more patience.

I'm sure it's rough with 2 youngsters, but all you can do is try. GOOD LUCK and I hope you and your kids find some peace soon.

Answer 4

Do you have enough room in your home for one of those play yards? If not keep them in one room by putting a gate up to their room door or where ever you will be the most. I use the gate for my 1 year old in the livingroom at the end of the day I only have that room to clean instead of the whole house.... And as far as the pouring the milk on the floor it is ok to smack their hand once and say no don't throw the milk on the floor we are suppose to drink it. And motion that but if they cont. to throw it just say no again and take it away or try giving it to then right after they eat so that they will be thristy and if it looks like they are done take it away. And also try locks on things so that they can't get into it....Good Luck

Answer 5

I'm from the old school. When my kids were toddlers they didn't have the run of the house. They were in bed, eating, in a playpen, swing, or confined to a small area while I was doing my housework. Then when I completed the housework I was able to sit on the floor with them and play...and they didn't have the chance to destroy the house. It might sound strict but if I didn't control the situation I'd be crazy too.....do you have a gate you can confine your kids to one room...with they toys....in a short time they will learn they are restricted until you can be with them in the rest of the house. When they reach for something that you don't want them to have....In a firm voice but not too harsh let them know they are wrong and remove from their hands and say NO NO...they all need discipline so they know their limits.
Praise them when they do what is RIGHT....Also they need training now so when they go to school they can handle the rules.

Answer 6

Now is the prime time, they are 1 & 2, you best nip that in the bud now, or you will end up with some unruly children, nobody will want you to come visit with your kids hahaha... No need to scream and hollar, but I am from the old school, at that age, a pat on butt with a stern NO, will accomplish that. Both of my kids had cracks on the butt... up until they were 3-4 years old.. all those child phycologists who talk about how bad that is, they do not have kids. I truly believe that kids today, teenagers especially, would not be so disrespectful if they had a little firm hand in the beginning. A bare hand on the bare butt works.. then after, you explain why.. my kids are great.. I never spanked my kids .. just those few cracks in the beginning..

Answer 7

HA! I wish I knew the answer. My daughter is 1year and I am 8 months pregnant. My daughter does exactly the same stuff. I just patiently tell her no and pick things up. One thing that I did do that helped is I designated a dresser drawer and a shelf just for her. Her belongings are on and in them. She pretty much has left the majority of my belongins alone now. Try that and see if it helps. As for as the milk on the floor....... well if you find that one out, let me know!

Answer 8

Hmm. One and two years will trash the house if left alone. Are you goofing off on the computer or training your children? I bet they can't trash much while you read to them. You need to consider it your job to civilize them, and treat it as such. You don't ignore your work at your job, and you can't ignore a toddler. Show them how to drink the right way. If they look you in the eye and defy you, dump their drink on the floor, tell them "No" firmly and if necessary slap their little hands--because you love them, and want the best for them. This parenting game isn't something you do because it is convenient and child training doesn't have as its goal YOUR convenience or lack of annoyance. Children need correction and training so they can live at peace too. Letting them run amok (as is the NATURE of children) is not in anyone's best interest.

Answer 9

never!!! you fairly only have 2 strategies, (a million) no longer enable the youngster understand that his mom left yet understand that he will later understand that she's long gone and would start up thinking that his mom will later disappear and get greater clingy than ever, or (2) go through via his crying for sometime till he gets used to the shown fact that when she leaves and says see you later, she will continually come back. i did determination 2 with my son. i continually advised him that i grow to be leaving and suffered the implications at that factor. now, he's frequently ok once I go away. even asking to deliver him residing house "surprises" each so often. there continues to be the occassional tantrum while he's in a awful temper yet otherwise, we are stable. i hectic approximately determination a million reason believed that this would finally reason psychological issues for the youngster while he gets older while a determine only impulsively "disappears" he would start to think of that he gets left at the back of and could fairly carry directly to issues in the previous they disappear

Answer 10

Child proofing is a beautiful thing. They have locks for refridgerators, cupboards, dressers and even rooms. Use gates to keep them in rooms that they can play in without touching things that you want left alone. You can also teach them to clean things up and put them back. My 2yo daughter loves to wipe up her messes and put clothes away now. Maybe if you show them how to be useful they may enjoy the praise as well.

Answer 11

I let my son play in the kitchen sink on a chair while I supervise. He pretends to wash his dishes etc. He loves it.

Also we make tents out of blankets and sing song under them or count to 10.

We have tea parties at his little table and chairs with stuffed animals.

Coloring at the table.

Walk and play at the park for an hour. (This really takes the fight out of him.)

He seems to be a lot better if I give him a task like this to do. He wasted his energy on good things.

Unfortunately sometimes I need a clean up break and to make dinner and I find "Diego" and "Elmo" helpful. I do limit this though -the "experts" have me worried about TV.

Hope you find this helpful with your kids -- they are all so different.