What is a good age difference apart in children?

Question

We want to have more children, 4. We would like them to be about 2 or 3 years apart. What do age apart do you think is good?

Answer 1

My children were three years apart, and I think this is the ideal age difference. The three year old is out of diapers by then, and he/she is able to understand and accept the idea of a new baby better than a two year old, who still needsmore time to be a baby himself. But it's still not too much of an age difference for them to have something in common.

Answer 2

I have 4 children. Their ages are 4-1/2yrs, 8 yrs, 10 yrs, and 12 yrs. My two older children are almost 2years apart to the day. It was very difficult when my second child was born because she was a very fussy baby. I wasn't able to give my first born the attention that he needed, and he couldn't understand why. My third child was a very easy baby and she was born just shy of 2 years from my second. Having them 2 years apart was difficult when they were so small. There is a lot to deal with - diapers, teething, potty training. But once they were ages 2, 4, and 6, it did get a bit easier. When I had my 4th child, my youngest was 3-1/2 years old. She was out of diapers and going to preschool twice a week. She loved the idea that she was going to be a big sister. She understood a lot more than she would have at 2 years old. I found from my own experiences that anything less than 2years apart is very difficult. Even if you have a spouse that helps out a lot. The 3 to 3-1/2 year difference between #3 and #4 was more relaxing for me. I have friends whose children are 5 years or more apart. Their kids don't really bond with each other the same way mine do. I'm not saying it is like that in all cases. Just my observation. I think 2 to 3 years but no more than 5 years is a great spread between children. And it doesn't have to be either 2 or 3 years. You may want to wait 3 years after the first one, 2 years after the second one, and 2-1/2 to 3-1/2 years after the third.

Good luck in your decision. Anyway you look at it, you can't lose. Children are such a blessing!

Answer 3

my son and daughter are 2 years apart It worked out but, now after the fact i think that was to close. 2 year old still needs mommy A LOT. It was crappy having to drag a double stroller when we went out to places like the zoo exc. I think two is too young to appreciate being the big brother or sister they are still just babies themselves. I think 4 or 5 years apart is better. NOW my kids are 8 and 10 I'm 21 weeks pregnant I think they will be too far apart to get to know each other by the time baby is 10 my son will be 21!. I guess there is no right or wrong. I know someone with 4 kids all under 5.5 PLANNED that way so they can grow up together "i think that's to hard on the kids and the mom". Do what works 4 you.

Answer 4

2 or 3 years is good. My girls are 3 years apart and it works out fine. They are close enough in age to get along but still have their spats. Yet they are far enough apart in age so I didn't have 2 in diapers, 2 in daycare, 2 on my hip, 2 graduating within a year of each other. I'm a divorced mother so expenses come into play quite often.

Answer 5

My first two children are 4 years apart and my youngest is 8 years after that.

I have a 14 year old, 10 year old and 2 year old. It gave each child the opportunity to grow and have that one one one baby time with. When you have children very close in age i think it is harder. yeah the children will have a sibling close in age to play with but they dont have time to become individuals in my own opinion.

Besides- diapers cost so much already for one child, let alone more!

Your 2-3 year gap isnt bad at all either!

Answer 6

Three years is a good gap. That way they'll still have things to do together and can relate well. You won't have to handle two in diapers at once or worry about the older one vying too much for your attention, because a three year old can be reasoned with easier than a younger one. Two years should be the minimum.

Anybody who says a year or less isn't thinking of the "bigger" picture. A woman's body needs time to heal after pregnancy. Also just adapting to parenthood takes time and why rush a child's "babyhood"? Give a child time to be the only. You will also need time to learn that child's personality. I think each child deserves some time to be cherished as the only one.

Answer 7

3 years apart

Answer 8

2-3 years is good. Just 1 year usually makes them too competitive over friends and grades. More than 3 years tends to leave such a gap that there isn't much of a relationship between them since they're worlds apart.

Answer 9

I had mine seven years apart. Mostly not by choice as their dad did not want another nine months later nor two years later. We waited. I ended up with a son and a daughter. It was wonderful having them this far apart. My girl is the eldest of the two and she was a help when he was born. She took care of him, she played with him. When he began to walk she was not too thrilled at first but became used to the idea that he was going to be able to get around. Now they are older into the teen and preteen years....they have a very close relationship. They do have their days when they bug each other and that is natural. But this relationship is so close she has in a sense become like a mom to him. When he was younger at times he would go to her rather than me to ease his owies and such. I at first was not too happy about it but as time went by and life changes came our way....I was glad that he wanted her to take care of it instead of me because sometimes I was not there and she was...this having to do with a divorce and visitation. All in all I think that they will be close for the rest of their lives.

Answer 10

That's exactly what experts recommend.
They will be close enough in age so you can hand the clothes down from one 2 the other and save lots of money and they can play together and look out for each other.
However, some of the Tree-huggers and environmentalists say with overpopulation and lack of resources you should never have more than 2 children, just enough to replace yourselves.