A girlfriend of mine got engaged shortly before I did this year. She is planning on having her wedding right before Thanksgiving. Everything is planned out pretty much except she couldnt find a DJ in the town where she lives who has the type music that she wants. her hubby to be left it up to her in regards to the planning. Her best friend suggested that my friend call her ex since he was a DJ to see could he do it. This is the thing- i told her that she shouldnt because Lord forbid her hubby find out, or the guy go crazy and ruin her music or even worse, lets people know they were intimate before. her hubby 2 b doesnt know this guy, but i think he would be hurt if the guy did the music. For what its worth- her ex is an awesome Dj and lots of people book him. he told her he would only charge her half price and has no interest in her whatsoever- i still think it is wrong. What do you think?
2006-08-22 10:40:37 · 16 answers · asked by glorymomof3 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If she does decide to go with her ex as her DJ, she should definitely be honest with her hubby-to-be and explain that they were involved so it's out in the open. (like you said, God forbid he find out this secret was kept from him!) If her fiance isn't comfortable with it, then the ex shouldn't be there (how would she feel if the situation was reversed??) I commend them if they can all be mature and adult enough to let the past be the past, but her fiance should not be kept in the dark about something that has the potential to be really upsetting if he did find out. Is it worth it to keep that from him and risk starting out a brand new marriage with deceit and hurt? (Honestly, if it were me in that position- no thanks, I'd figure something else out. It's just not worth the awkwardness in my opinion :)
2006-08-22 11:03:24 · answer #1 · answered by melody71081 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is not kosher to have an ex at a wedding. Especially an ex. He might say he does not care about you anymore, but once he see's how pretty you look he might start second guessing. WHo knows he could mess up the first dance and all. Music is very important for a wedding. Why risk your husband finding out. That could ruin the whole marriage. I say tell your friend no.
2006-08-22 19:26:30 · answer #2 · answered by jameelahbf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a professional DJ and would not tarnish his reputation by sabotaging her reception...I'm sure he would do a great job for her. As far as the whole ex thing goes...she should tell her future husband that the two did date once upon a time...details are not necessary. He should know about it but it should be no big deal..I assume they are all adults, aren't they? Then they should act like adults. It's only a big deal if it is made out to be a big deal.
2006-08-22 18:11:16 · answer #3 · answered by auntcookie84 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's tacky!! She shouldn't go through her ex for the DJ - even if he is awesome and won't charge her too much. Her fiancee will certainly be mad if he were to find out - and how creepy to have your ex at your wedding, providing the music. Definitely tell her not to do it!!!
2006-08-22 21:17:01 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as the dj to give a music list of what he wants to play there... get a written contract and make sure that it is well well documented.. if he messes up the wedding take the guy to court.. and make sure that boy doesn't have any feelings left over for that girl. plus half price why not!
2006-08-22 17:47:54 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ღαмαиdα♥ღ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on how long ago they were involved and if their break-up was cordial or nasty. If they have remained friends, I see no reason why she should pass up a half price deal on a great DJ. Her husband-to-be MUST be asked, however. If he has no problem with it, problem solved. If he does, she has to look elsewhere. It's HIS wedding too, and nothing should happen to make either one of them feel uncomfortable on a day that should be filled with nothing but happiness.
2006-08-22 18:29:22 · answer #6 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't have my ex as a DJ, or anywhere else near the wedding. Bad idea, not worth the risks
2006-08-22 17:44:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eep! My gut reaction is that this is a baaaaaaaaaad idea.
But on the other hand, how long ago were they involved? To what degree? Has she kept a friendly relationship with the ex? If she goes this route, I would make sure that A) her fiance is completely clued in and B) all arrangements from payment to playlist are spelled out in black & white in a signed contract.
2006-08-22 18:08:54 · answer #8 · answered by Church Music Girl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know realtionship experts ( afew ) say it is acceptable to have an ex there as long as you ask yourself why.I personally think it is tacky but that is me.I mean if this guy is a friend who also happens to be an ex from say highschool and she is now 30 then ok but if he is an ex from like 8 months and they are friends then no.I think it is alll about how long ago it was.
2006-08-22 20:40:45 · answer #9 · answered by movin12006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she should hide the fact that she dated the guy from her husband, but I think is she trusts the guy and their relationship was over a long time ago then it's not a big deal! She should still tell her hubby to be though!
2006-08-22 17:44:24 · answer #10 · answered by sarahbeth 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋