My son is 51/2 years old and he just recently confessed to his grandma that he wanted to be a girl! She said that were in the store and he was looking at girl clothes and telling how much he liked them also he argued that goucho pants were boys pants. Please someone tell me how to approach this situation? There have been times when I have caught him doing fresh things to his little brother and also when he has stayed the night over relatives house I was told that he was kissing my cousin son in the mouth which is the same age. I am very angry and disappointed and I don't know how to talk to him about it so I yell at him and spank him and tell that I don't want no ****** for a son and this is not the behavior that little boys are supposed to display. Evidently this isn't working because the problem is re accurrent so does this mean that my son will be GAY or does this mean that he is just confused I dont know someone please help me!!
2006-08-22 10:29:26 · 22 answers · asked by yousexythangyou 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Oh my. You totally over-reacted! I think you owe your son an apology too. This is completely normal behaviour for his age. In fact, my 5 year old is going through the exact same thing. He also told me that he wishes he was a girl and that his name was Brianna. They are discovering things about their bodies they didn't know before. It's normal curiousity. You need to sit with him calmly and talk to him about what is appropriate and what is not. Hitting him and yelling at him is just going to make him feel like he's some freak of nature or something.
2006-08-22 10:34:18 · answer #1 · answered by sahm2boys 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Stop the yelling and spanking! You are only causing more problems by doing these!
Your son is young and is still exploring genders. He's exploring what's different and what's the same with other children.
As far as the kissing goes, he's showing affection. I'm sure he kisses you and Grandma too!
The clothes for girls are softer, smoother, prettier than most boys clothes and that could be why he's interested in them, not because they're "girls" clothes.
You need to get control over yourself, then think about the different things he's doing.
It could be that he's trying to get attention and he knows, by doing these things, he'll get it, one way or another.
Try talking to him about the differences between boys and girls. Find possitive and negative things about each. See what his reaction is.
If he were older, I would be more concerned, not about him, but about your reaction to him, if indeed he does turn out to be gay.
2006-08-22 17:50:22 · answer #2 · answered by rustybones 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a therapist, I hope the word that is **** does not ryhme with steer or lagget. Recent studies have shown that homosexuality is NOT genetic as many of us would like to believe. Children develop sexually between the ages of 2-6 years old and the study reports that 7 out of 10 children raised in homes without a stable father figure are gay.
After dealing with teens and young adults who try to slit their rists, jump off bridges (only to disable their spines) and worse cases - because they were rejected.
On the flip side, as other mothers have pointed out, your son may be impressed with a classmate, or may even envy YOU - these behaviors can mean a myriad of different things. Please, I beg you, don't make him grow up to hate you.... it can happen and you'll be impressed with what your little bundle will remember and spring back on you one day in a quippy rebuttal.
2006-08-22 20:46:40 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be spanking and yelling at him. You need to educate yourself on gender identity issues. Being gay and wanting to be of the opposite sex are not the same issue. Also, if he is 5 1/2 and kissing others his age on the mouth & doing 'fresh' things to his little brother - you need to open your eyes and look at the people areound your son. Someone has been teaching him those things and that someone could be molesting him. Please, for your son's future happiness, get some professional help.
2006-08-22 17:41:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Experimentation is pretty normal at that age. I'm a thoroughly heterosexual woman but I remember wishing in my pre-teen years that I could be a guy because, well, they just seemed to have more adventures and more fun. And they could pee standing up!
However...gays and lesbians report gender confusion or the feeling that they should have been the opposite sex fairly early in life. In other words, it's just possible that your son may in fact be gay. It's really too soon to tell.
Whatever the situation, punishment is inappropriate. You will only alienate him and make him afraid to talk to you candidly. Besides, he's too young to have any awareness of what is socially acceptable. So yes, talk to him about boundaries and unwanted touching in language he can understand. Keep the lines of communication open. Whatever happens, it is beyond his control. And whatever happens, he will always be your son and deserves your love and support. Best wishes!
2006-08-22 17:47:20 · answer #5 · answered by keepsondancing 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe he just doesn't understand that boys shouldn't be kissing other boys, i mean they are related, and as far as he is concernd, relatives are allowed to kiss. He doesn't have hormones yet, so it is not gay. And if he is around alot of girls then he may like girl clothes. There is also a possibility that he has seen a guy wearing gouchos, so he thought that guys could wear them too.
2006-08-22 21:10:42 · answer #6 · answered by kdancergirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not an expert in this situation, but what you are describing sounds like your son might have been affected by some inappropriate sexual behavior. Punishing your son isn't the most effective thing to do. What I would suggest is counseling. He needs a neutral party to talk to him about what's going on. Counseling can be expensive, but talk to any medical care provider about finding something that can work for you. Please realize that this does not mean your son will be gay.
2006-08-22 20:19:54 · answer #7 · answered by Alicia L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first you need to calm down. It is evident in this world that parents getting mad at a situation like this only leads to it worsening. Spanking your son and saying such things to him DEFINITELY just makes his self esteem low. In fact, if he is confused, you hitting him and using that kind of language may make him feel HORRIBLE and even MORE confused. You're his mom. You're supposed to love and nurture him.
Perhaps a better idea would be to ask him WHY he wants to be a girl. His answer might supprise you.
Five year olds and even some kids that are older, tend to display actions that they see on tv, in the home, at school, or in a play group. You might want to look at what it is your son is being exposed to on a daily basis. Once again, hitting is not the answer. Just simply ask him in a calm cool environment, why he's behaving this way. Perhaps one night while you're laying him down for bed. This is a calm time in which children want to go to bed with memories of their mom and or dad having a nice talk with them or reading a story, NOT HITTING THEM for something they themselves may not even understand.
2006-08-22 17:44:12 · answer #8 · answered by green_moon2425 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not to be rude or anything, but I don't think spanking a child or yelling at him would solve your answer. It would make him think that he is a freak or a weirdo and will have self - esteem problems.
You can sit somewhere quiet with your son and ask him questions and tell him what is appropriate for him and what is not. Don't panick or anything. Just talk to him and get to know him a little better. Understand him. I'm not saying that you don't know you're own son. Just talk to him. Maybe it will help you out alot.
I hope I can be a big help to you. ^_^
2006-08-22 17:43:16 · answer #9 · answered by Sakura H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cant change him if he is gay but if you keep up with your disturbing and horrible parenting, he will have emotional problems later in life. Either support him and love him or give the child up for adoption.
The statement above "7 out of 10 children raised in homes without a stable father figure are gay." is false and a lie.
2006-08-23 08:24:45 · answer #10 · answered by KathyS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋