Background info: I'm 22, my boyfriend is 28. About a month ago my boyfriend of over a year kissed another girl. He admitted it immediately and made it clear that he was trying to figure out if we have a future - he had to see if he really loved me. Kissing her destroyed him and made him depressed because he thought he'd ruined things with me. The fate of our relationship was placed entirely in my hands. I forgave him because I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him.
The Problem: I can't forget what happened. Whenever he doesn't call me at a usual time or his band practice runs late or ANYTHING, I get scared. Believe me, I'm no jealous girlfriend, I love his friends & don't keep him from hanging out with them &doing what he wants. Still, it's always nagging in the back of my head that something could happen again. I want to eventually marry this man. How do I forget? (BTW, he told me that he never expects me to forgive/forget what he did but I want to)
2006-08-22 10:20:18 · 9 answers · asked by krd12 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That's the problem with cheating, it is so hard to forget it.. In this case you're lucky it was only a kiss (it could have been worse).
Your feelings are normal. You seem to be doing the right thing. He has to earn your trust and respect... all this is part of the process. I'm sure your boyfriend wishes it never happened now. Still he must realize that one more slip-up and the whole relationship will blow up.
At this point you and your boyfriend need open, honest conversation. Tell him you love him, but that the hurt is still there. Tell him you want to trust him, and you're making some progress, but honestly, it is soooo hard.
2006-08-22 10:27:52 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you forgive him. There's no need to hold on to something that's obviously destroying you inside and will eventually destroy your relationship. It's very clear that you two love eachother or he wouldn't have went back to you after he kissed her. Pray to God and ask him to take control of the relationship and have his way with it. Trust me, prayer changes. Second, learn to love yourself. Don't panic when he doesn't call or shows up late. Don't let him see your weak side. As long as he knows that you feel like you can't live without him then he will continue to do the things he does. Be strong! It will be hard but you WILL get over it honey. Life does go on!
2006-08-22 10:29:03 · answer #2 · answered by queen_pimp_bear 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds sincere - give it time, I'm sure things will work out. I am a true believer of things happenning for a reason, if he needed to kiss this other person to see how he felt then he has and should now move on - he was nice enough to tell you about it and share his feelings with you. I would just sit back, relax and let things happen.
2006-08-22 10:26:28 · answer #3 · answered by redneckgirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to realize that when he calls late or some other thing keeps him from being with you, worrying about it will not make him call any quicker. If he's going to cheat again, he is going to do it regardless of whether you sit at home worrying or not.
Have faith in the fact that he values you and your relationship and have faith that that will keep him faithful. You will never forget what happened, but if you have faith that your boyfriend does not want to risk losing you then it will ease your worries when they arise.
Your boyfriend will not cheat because of something you do or don't do, if he cheats again, it is because he is selfish and he has issues.
Have faith in yourself and your worth.
2006-08-22 10:54:18 · answer #4 · answered by Colleen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-14 10:00:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're going to forgive, you have to forget. If not, it will drive you crazy wondering all the time where he's at, etc. If this was the first time something like this has happened and you really love him, try to work it out. If it's happened before, dump him fast. You need to remind yourself it wasn't your fault this happened and build your self esteem back up.
2006-08-22 10:25:20 · answer #6 · answered by kathy p 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
baby girl, just a kiss right? let it go and let him know that trust is the main force behind your relationship. and that's what you both will need to have in order for this relationship to survive. if he had actually cheated for having sex, then that's entirely different story.
2006-08-22 10:31:30 · answer #7 · answered by harmony 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ITS HARD TO FORGET AND FORGIVE...BUT YOU ALREADY FORGAVE HIM. NOW AS FOR THE FORGET PART..IF YOU WANT TO SAVE THE RELATIONSHIP...THEN YOU MUST FORGET...OR ELSE IT'S NEVER GOING TO WORK OUT IN THE LONG RUN. ITS HARD...BUT YOU GOTTA DO IT.
2006-08-22 10:26:36 · answer #8 · answered by Trinity 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move on - you been with him for a year and he doesn't know if your the one??? Move on quickly and how do you know it was just a kiss?
2006-08-22 10:43:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋