How do I carry on with my life?

Question

I'm 54, male, live alone, no kids. My life is mess and sometimes I think about giving it up. But I got to knw a boy who´s now 15. His family situation is kinda bad, his mom died when he was 2 yo and he lives with a friend of mine who he calls mom. Fr about a year I've helped this kid as I can. I became a kind of father fgure to him. Now there's a link beteween us, I worry about the boy, he's part f my life.Some days ago he was really down and I told him life is a gift from God, things will get better, he's not alone in his teen years, etc. A lot of things I myself don't belive at age 54
This boy has been a wondeful experience for a man who couldnt have kids, but I was on the verge of taking my own life. I'm still a very depressed man. If I take my life, how will this impact the boy? I dont understand why God put this boy in the life of a troubled man like me.

Answer 1

Maybe...so you can help each other.

Answer 2

Maybe God put him in your life to show you that you are indeed important and that you can make a difference in this young man's life. Why would you want to take your own life when you can be an important figure in his life. If you killed yourself, what kind of example would you be setting for him? You can't tell him that life is a gift from God and that things will get better and then kill youself. What a mixed message that would be. Unfortunately, no one said life was easy. In fact, for most people, it is rather hard. You can run into all kinds of obstacles and troubles, you just have to have faith that it will get better. My life has been very hard, but I have never felt the desire to take my own life. I know, with God's help I will make it. I also know that there are millions of people out there who have it a way lot worse than I do. You and this young man can both help each other. Be Strong.

Answer 3

Because you are a troubled man and this boy is troubled as well. Truth??? You need eachother, and this is just fact. You have a son in him, and he has a father in you. After finding this bond and this kinship with this young boy, why would you want to end your life? The two of you can save eachother, you brought together to save eachother and to be in eachothers lives to make your lives stronger and more positive helping eachother. You take your life and your ruining the man he saw in you, the man he has looked up to since you entered into eachothers lives. And what is that saying to him as far as how you cared about him and really was REAL with him? You couldn't possibly be......... if you could just take your life like that. You are 54, alone and never any children....... I am 30, alone and I have no children and no hopes of ever having children. You are not alone in this world for as far as how you walk in it............. alone. For I do to, but that is no reason to give up, to through in the towel........ you have a 15 yr old boy who needs and looks up to your guidance........ that is an honor and it is the highest compliment you could ever hope for or ask for. You need this young man and I bet you love him as a son, and he needs you and he is looking at you as his father. If he was your blood, would you still contemplate on killing yourself? I don't think so....... he isn't your blood but he is no less then a son to you. Let him brighten your life.......... find the joy of him in your life as a son can bring..... and you be there for him. You gave him advice that you don't beleive yourself? Why not? Him sitting there hanging onto every word you say and trying to lift his spirits on your wisdom and advice............ is your better day. This boy is your better day since the day he walked into your life. How can you not see that? Life is a gift from God, and this boy's life is a gift and him being alive and in your life.......... is THE gift. I hope you see all this, and I hope you open your eyes to the gift you have been handed and the very thing that your heart needed most....... and that it is right before you in this young teen that is like a SON to you. Good luck and BLessed be.

Answer 4

Dear "ACS": You are on the right track!! you have learned to CARE for someone!! This is love.
You told the young man that God gave him life!! Yes, and God gave YOU life and ,what is more, He will give you both ETERNAL LIFE IN HEAVEN if only you will believe and obey God's will!
God loves you and so do I. God intended for us to love Him and love one another . God loves everyone and intends for us all to live with Him in Heaven. The answer is Jesus Christ who is the example of love and innocence.
WOULDN'T YOU FEEL GOOD AND HAPPY IF YOU COULD TEACH THIS YOUNG MAN ABOUT HEAVEN AND MAKE HIM HAPPY???
First you must learn true happiness yourself. If your life has been a mess because of the way people treated you,forget it NOW -and let God be your Father and guide!!
LOVE is happiness>>God is LOVE!!
Please take this young man to a church and talk to a minister who will teach you both about God's love. He will also give you a bible. Take it and read in Exodus 20 the 10 laws for happy living. Then read (in the New Testament) the following: Romans 3/23 >Romans 6/23>Romans 5/8 and St. John 3/16
Please help yourself and help the young man to make a great and happy life.
Signed: An 83 year old HAPPY CHRISTIAN!!!

Answer 5

You can look at that boy and commit to make a difference in his life. When you do, you will see your life change too.
At 54, my age too, you have learned some great lessons and you have a philosophy for many things that you can pass on as your legacy, even if he is not a blood relative.
You are in his life to serve a purpose for God. God knew that you and that child would be alone, meet and bond.
It is the reason for your being and you must face the responsibility and the joy he can give you. He will prove to be God's blessing to you.

Answer 6

I don't know what God's will is for you or the young man you have been a mentor to but from the sounds of what you have been doing in his life I'd bet that God united the two of you to help each other. How would you feel if this boy took his life? Would you feel responsibility? Sure you would. And that is how he would feel if you took yours that and abandonment. You need to find someone you can talk to about your feelings now you are important to God or He wouldn't allow you such an important position in a boy's life. Don't give up on this boy you have to power to allow him to find a beautiful life or destroy him....Jim

Answer 7

It sounds like you've been mutually beneficial to one another. That's what family life is. Who cares if you're not biologically related. You're emotionally connected.

Your death would likely mess him up horribly, and because most people who commit suicide know closely someone else who has committed suicide, your action could precipitate his own suicide at a later date. (At least the risk would rise enormously.)

I know that you're lonely, tired, and seeing the end of life as not as exciting as the beginning. Guys generally don't make friends as easily as women, and it's not easy finding a silver lining around the cloud right now. However, you've stumbled on something that will help you. Go and give more of yourself to someone. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or family homeless shelter. Mentor another child in school. Visit older people in nursing homes. When others see that your presence is a gift to them, then perhaps you'll start seeing yourself as being important as well.

There are other things you can do, too, that your doctor can recommend, but apparently other people need you more than you've been willing to admit.

(PS.: I'm 51)

Answer 8

If you do this you will traumatize this kid beyond belief. Did it ever occur to you that you might only have a chemical imbalance making you feel this way? And by taking one pill a day these feelings will go away? Stop being so selfish. This kid has a hard enough life without YOU adding to it. If you insist on knocking yourself off, at least wait until he's older and out on his own! Go make an appt with a dr for some blood tests. I'm 53 and alone, too!

Answer 9

First of all, I ask God in the name of His son to put His hand on your shoulder today and flood you with His love and compassion. God wants no one to feel this desperate and alone. He has a good plan for you, and a future. This young man that you have befriended, think of what it would do to him to see you kill yourself. Especially after you told him that life is a gift from God, and it will get better. How traumatized he would be, he would never believe anyone again!

Please pray to God to help you. Find a church that studies the bible, go. Don't give up. I can promise you that if you are faithful in keeping in God's word, and prayer, God will re-construct your life and give you beauty for ashes. He turned my life around, He can do the same for you. Nothing is impossible for God.

I ask the Lord Jesus Christ to be your friend and companion, and to be the lifter of your head today.

Answer 10

It would have a terrible impact on a child to know that his friend had taken his own life. Listen to some of the things that you are telling this boy and know that they are still alive deep inside you. You are a creature of God and he is there for you even in your darkest hour. I am praying for your burdens to be lifted from you. May the Peace of the Lord be Always With You.

Answer 11

I'm Pagan, but, I'll try to be Christian for this question.

God gave this boy to you -- in your life -- because he doesn't want you to die. He wants you to see that no matter how bad life is, there are people who have it worse.

You claim to tell the boy that "life is a gift from God". And you know what? It is. It's a beautiful gift, so don't be a hypocrite, take your own advice!

Also, if you die, what will that tell the kid? That you were lying to him! That life is pointless, and worthless! Do you want the kid to die, too?

You have a bond with him now...

... don't kill that bond.

- 16 yo Pagan