Question for single women over 30.......?

Question

SINGLE (not married, never been married, no kids etc). It's most women's dream to get married and have a family but in reality not everyone will. Ladies, how do you deal with life being single over 30? the loneliness? your friends marrying and moving on? buying a house? How do you truly to live a fulfilled life without being the"old maid"?

Answer 1

You're right. There are a lot of women who despite being good women will never be married in life. I try to take things just like I've always taken them. I don't really think about marriage that often anymore. For a while I did, but then I realized, I don't have to live my life like I'm less than a person just because I don't have a husband and children yet. God has promised that the blessings of the Celestial Kingdom will not be withheld from those who are worthy just because they are not married. -- I'm Mormon and one of the things we believe is that you must be married in the temple to gain the highest rewards of heaven. Being a never married/no kids over 30 single can be difficult in such a family oriented church, if you let it. I am single, but it doesn't define who I am unless I let it. I have friends, work, other family members, and church callings that can keep me pretty busy. Elenor Roosevelt said something like People can't make you feel bad about yourself, without your permission.

Answer 2

How old are you?
I was over thirty before I got married. At the time I thought it was smarter to enter into marriage at a more mature age. I still think it's smarter. I did not dream about one day getting married. I wasn't thanking my lucky stars at age thirty-one that I'd snagged husband even though I had exceeded my shelf life! Life isn't a fairy tale, and marriage is only the beginning of the story.
Friends moving on, dealing with the loneliness, buying a house?
Your real friends will always be your friends, married or not. Sometimes, you can be more lonely in a marriage than out. Since when do you need a husband in order to buy a house? Buy your own darn house, that way you get to keep it when you get divorced! Old maid? Fullfilled? Do you think that at some mystical magical age you are no longer a woman if you aren't married? What do you become? An ugly, hollowed out doll that used to be human? Who is feeding you this garbage?
You are the only one who is responsible for you. Your home, your belongings, your happiness, your friends. If you happen to end up with a partner who helps you to both get where you'd both like to be, that's a freaking miracle. Just assume now, that all of the things that will come to you in your life, will come to you if YOU go get them. Those things do not come to you as part of a package deal with a guy, a ring, and an I DO. You'll be much happier if you depend on you. You will experience a whole lot less dissatisfaction, and hurt if you do not expect a husband, or anyone else for that matter, to give you the things that want or need in your life.
Hope that helps, though I'm pretty sure that isn't the answer that you were looking for.
Good luck

Answer 3

'Old maid'? What century are you living in?
I'm lucky in that I grew up with my friends and we have stayed friends, no matter who got married, bought a house, had kids, etc. We always do stuff together and they come to me when they need a feminine view or feel the need to vent about being married.
There is so much to do...if you look, there's always an event around...loneliness? not if you go out. Everyone has a story and different things happen to different people. You never know who you could meet or when. I worry about getting married b/c attaching yourself to one person for >50 yrs when there are so many people out there seems a bad idea. Especially if you make a choice like that before you're 30. Wouldn't you agree that you make better, more informed choices the older you are?

Answer 4

"OLD MAID" is a crap term. There's no such thing. You're exactly where you're supposed to be right now.

I'm over thirty and divorced. I never had kids. Frankly, I'm better off. I'm not interested in being a mother, even though I'd like to have a lifelong companion in a husband. However, if it never happens, that's fine. There is not any truth to "marriage/kids/house" being the only road to fulfillment. It is for some, but doesn't have to be for you.

Having great friends and being a great friend IS a road to fulfillment. I find that the less I focus on myself and the more I focus on others--meeting their needs, making them happy, giving them peace--the less lonely I am, and the more fulfilled I feel.

Some of the loneliest people in the world are married. I know I was when I was married. Keep that in mind.

Answer 5

As one who married at 32 I can say that my pre-married days were incredibly fulfilling. Life was never about a man and therefore I never felt lonely or unfulfilled. I had more time to do more things at that time and it was definitely a great opportunity to work at becoming a better person and becoming closer to Christ--very fulfilling things, indeed!

Of course, now that I'm married, I wouldn't trade it for the world. But there is a time for everything.

Answer 6

I am not married and it doesn't bother me in the least. I love my life. I did find someone and we plan to be married within the next couple of years. We never want to have kids. My life is pretty full and I am happy the way it is. I wouldn't change a thing.

I think it takes being comfortable with yourself and knowing who you are to enjoy life being single. I have always traveled, kept close friends, pursued my interests etc. I really live life to the fullest.

Answer 7

how do you truly live a fulfilled life having to have a man take care of you and validate you being a person? im single, buying my own home and raising my son on my own. im not lonely, there are plenty of people out there to keep you company when you need or want it. as for friends marrying, i wish them luck in giving up their own identity because thats what happens. yes, i am divorced and if i would of listened to my guy i would of never gotten married to begin with. what is really the point?

Answer 8

I've been married two times and have been single for over 30 years now and don't like it. Most of us don't but we manage to get by with dates every now and then. I do a lot of volunteer work, I work. Try to make friends with other single women. A lot of single women do buy their own homes. Good Luck...

Answer 9

Best way to deal with it is not think about it and enjoy life. I have been a college student off and on since '98 so I have friends of varying ages (and I'm 33). I have just recently met someone that could very well possibly be 'the one'...and I think part of the reason for that is I learned to become comfortable with myself and being alone rather than depending on someone else for my happiness. Unfortunately too many people have this misconception that in order to be truly happy, you need to have someone in your life and this is entirely untrue...you need to be happy with yourself before you can become happy with someone else. And too...I'm glad I remained single as long as I did...I fear if I hadn't, I wouldn't have been divorced by now. Instead, I refused to settled and someone who makes me truly happy has now come around.

Answer 10

Do stuff! Do the things you love! I don't consider myself an "old maid." I'm a woman who has chosen a single life. Go out and find friends who like the stuff you do: take classes - yoga, writing, math, whatever. Fulfillment shouldn't depend upong marital status.