Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves
Another blonde, another store. She goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."
"Does he use the ball kind?" inquired the clerk.
"No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."
2006-08-22 08:39:31 · 13 answers · asked by ... 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Anybody have anymore jokes?
2006-08-22 08:48:09 · update #1
Those were cute! :)
2006-08-22 08:47:10 · answer #1 · answered by ROR 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny my mom even laughed. Here's another:
One day a blonde goes to a local electronics store. She finds out that all t.v's are on sale. So,she walks up to the clerk & askes him "how much is the t.v on sale for ?" the clerk replies "We're sorry we don't allow blondes here. So the blonde dyes her hair burnette & asks again "How much is the t.v on sale for" the clerk says "We're sorry we don't allow blondes. AGAIN the blonde dyes her hair black this time & asks "How much is the t.v on sale for? " the clerk again says " We're sorry,we don't allow blondes here" the blonde gets mad & askes " How do you know that I am a blonde ? " The clerk says " I know your a blonde because,that's not a t.v,that's a microwave.
Haha!
Q: Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?
A: She got cold and turned off the fan.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
hahahhaha!
2006-08-22 08:51:14 · answer #2 · answered by Jeremy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blonde Rectum Stretcher (Priceless)
While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a blonde passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"
To which she replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.
The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
Well," the blonde said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot anal openig?" he asked. - Edited for answers
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs. $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face............... PRICELESS
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/
2006-08-22 09:02:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a brunette was jumping on railroad tracks counting out loud, "47, 47, 47..."
all the sudden a blonde came out and wondered what the brunette was doing, but it looked like fun so she started to jump on the railroad tracks with her yelling out 47, 47, 47.
The very next second a train was barrelling them down on the tracks, the brunette jumped at the very last second making it to safety, but the blonde was killed instantly.
The brunette gets back up on the railroad tracks and starts jumping up and down calling out "48, 48, 48..."
ha ha
2006-08-22 09:05:05 · answer #4 · answered by ksgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are good.
Have you tried the new 60 second sex?
Got a minute?
2006-08-22 09:01:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL.
Why won't a blonde make ice cubes?
She doesn't know the recipe!
2006-08-23 09:43:00 · answer #6 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ball kind! LMAO! Where can i get some of that deoderant?
2006-08-22 08:52:06 · answer #7 · answered by VetteLeo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your title is extremely funny.....bonlde.
You know,with all the jokes about bonlde secretaries using white out on the screen, etc, etc.
Ahem..
2006-08-22 08:44:59 · answer #8 · answered by dr schmitty 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why did the blonde have lipstick all over her steering wheel?
she was trying to blow the horn!!!!
2006-08-22 09:45:52 · answer #9 · answered by Mel G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/news?ch=49799&cl=735661&lang=en','playerWindow','width=793,height=608,scrollbars=no'));
2006-08-22 08:46:01 · answer #10 · answered by RACHEL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is funny
2006-08-22 08:49:19 · answer #11 · answered by lovers fool 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋