Especially if there is kids involved.
2006-08-22 08:33:44 · 28 answers · asked by Stac 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Of course!
2006-08-22 08:39:28 · answer #1 · answered by Tomekk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course it is. there are many many issues to discuss, especially when you are involving children. be sure this is a long term move cuz it can really affect your kids. make sure it is the right move for everyone involved.
i may seem old fashioned when i say this but personally, i wouldn't do it without being married.....mainly because of the children. they need stability and to know the adults love each other and are planning on a life together not just playing house while it suits them.
2006-08-22 15:45:35 · answer #2 · answered by sunnyca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's important. Vital, in fact. The thing about expectations, though, is they tend to backfire. That is, I have expectations, they're not met, I'm all hurt and disappointed. It's probably just a choice of words, but I prefer the term "ground rules" instead. That way, once the ground rules are in place and you both agree to them, then you can have less expectations and be pleasantly surprised because you weren't expecting, for example, a kiss, or a compliment, or a romantic dinner, etc., etc.
2006-08-22 15:45:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is for sure, you have to compromise and make a lot of changes for just two single people, in your case, you have a kid. You have to know what is expected and how things might be because you do not want to move in before you find out more things and not end up liking it and have to change, it's bad for the kids.
2006-08-22 15:41:35 · answer #4 · answered by Ian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very important to talk about everything that could or would happen and what you each expect before living together or getting married. I would never live together before getting married then there is no commitment and each can feel they can leave anytime if something doesn't go their way.
2006-08-22 15:45:55 · answer #5 · answered by Carol 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't discuss anything. Just move in together and make sure you maintain unrealistic expectations of each other. Then when it doesn't work out and the children are destroyed you can go to therapy and talk about it then.
2006-08-22 15:42:52 · answer #6 · answered by Annie R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. You can't cover all bases though, if you know what I mean. Life is going to throw you some curve balls. I would recommend you to make sure YOU know exactly where you stand on certain matters (like family and finances). If you have a solid opinion about the crucial aspects of living together, then it's easier to transmit it to another person and to hold your ground to when push comes to shove.
2006-08-22 16:06:48 · answer #7 · answered by suki's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES< YES, lots of things change when kids are involved you alway have one saying they love them but don't want them around. Becareful my brother went thru that with his X. She was crule to the kids I almost kicked her a ss but she left before I could find the b ithch
2006-08-22 15:41:25 · answer #8 · answered by spicy girl 1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness. YES YES YES!!!
I moved in with a guy who I'd dated long-distance for 7 months. I moved in and we didn't really talk about expectations, and the relationship rapidly went downhill. One weekend I went back home to visit my parents and he and I got in a fight over the phone and he almost kicked me out, while I was 2.5 hrs away!!! I moved out three weeks later. Our relationship sorta got better after that but we did eventually break up.
I brought my daughter into his home and we didn't talk at all about that. He just kind of accepted it. Later on I found out he didn't even want to be in a committed long-term relationship, and that basically I was a charity case to him. He let me move in with him to help me get on my feet and help me do well in life. Once that happened....I think he emotionally walked out of the relationship. He never did well with my daughter...kinda ignored her when he was around her, and I didn't like that too much.
So yes, it's hugely important to talk about EVERYTHING when you decide to move in with someone.
2006-08-22 15:41:09 · answer #9 · answered by SassySours 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's one of the first things to do. You each need to make it clear in the beginning what you expect out of each other. Talking about it first helps to minimize arguments.
2006-08-22 15:40:26 · answer #10 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will need to lay the ground work if you want a stable relationship. If you wait to talk about issues after they come up you will have no pre established disclaimer or threshold to start from. It will make issues harder to resolve.
2006-08-22 15:45:34 · answer #11 · answered by Madeamove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋