my mom worries about me when i'm with a guy. she never tells me not to go out with them, but she doesn't approve of it either. i can tell that she worries about me, but she never says anything. recently, i found out that my mom was raped when she was younger, but she never told me about it. i had to learn from another family member. you'd think that after that experience she would tell me to stay away from men because they're all bad and stuff, but she doesn't. she never tells me to be careful, and most of the time, she doesn't even ask where i am, or who i'm with. when i stay up too late, she thinks the worst of me, but she knows me and what i'm capable of, she doesn't have to worry about anything. i've never really had a talk with my mom about anything. not even "how was school?" "fine" she doesn't even know any of my intrests. so why won't she communicate with me?
2006-08-22 08:01:10 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm sure if your mom knew you felt this way, she'd be running to talk to you. I don't know you or your mom personally so my take on it is just that, my take. Anyway, here goes. Maybe your mom has a lot of emotional/mental scars from what happened to her when she was younger and feels like she can't be objective or impartial enough to provide solid advice regarding relationships with men or dating. She probably doesn't want to turn you against men just because of what happened to her. She's probably so afraid of giving you bad advice or inadvertently brainwashing you against men, that she opts not to say anything at all not realizing what affect that is having on you. I'm not sure how old you are so I don't really know how reasonable or unreasonable her lack of guidance is. Maybe she is trying to give you the "space" that so many children crave and beg for and trying to show her trust in your decision-making and capabilities. Maybe she thinks if there is something you want to talk about that you would come to her. Try approaching her and asking her about why she didn't tell you about the incident you recently found out about. She was probably waiting for the "right time" to tell you only it never really seems to be the "right time" plus like I said, I don't know how old you are. Maybe she didn't feel you were old enough to handle it yet. Maybe she wasn't brave enough to open that door again just yet. Who knows. I'm sure your mother isn't disinterested in you or your life though and she'd probably be mortified if she thought you felt that way. I'm sure if you opened the door to communication with her, she'd run through it so fast she'd hit the wall on the other side and knock herself out, lol. Feel honoured that she trusts you enough to make responsible decisions but open the door of communication with her. You'll both benefit greatly. Good Luck.
2006-08-22 08:22:48 · answer #1 · answered by Super-Mom9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes a child can help their mom to communicate. Let her know how much she means to you. And that you need some direction and communication from and with her. She may be pleasantly surprised that you seek her closeness. If you're unable to do it together, please ask her that you both seek help to accomplish it. You're both missing so much of life. You are obviously a very caring, intellegent individual.
2006-08-22 15:18:58 · answer #2 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is quite sad your relationship with your mum is like this. Maybe try talking to her. Don't wait for her to ask you about things, just tell her. Maybe she didn't tell you about her rape because she felt you would think badly of her, who knows? I hope things get better between the two of you.
2006-08-22 15:11:21 · answer #3 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE POOR THING WAS TRAUMATIZED , SHE WAS NEVER TAUGHT TO COMMUNICATE , MAYBE YOU CAN HELP HER LEARN...GOOD LUCK !!
2006-08-22 15:09:03 · answer #4 · answered by MARY B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋