We have an 11 yr old boy and 5 yr old boy. For the biggest part of the day it seems that we are referrees, and the bell rings at 7am and the match usually isn't over until 9pm. The 11 yr old is too rough on the 5 yr old and the 5yr old always wants what the 11 yr old has. Sometimes, they manage a good day but the occasion is rare. We always try to do 1:1, and we have family activity nite at least 3 times a week. So it's not like they don't get the attention. Sometimes there is just too much hollering and screaming between the two, they r sent to their rooms, but that don't last long. Do we have all of this until they r 18 or is there something else we can try? any suggestions would help.
2006-08-22 07:25:13 · 10 answers · asked by Proud mama/wife 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
i have four kids each three years apart. the older three are boys and i have this all day every day. some days are better than others because the 2 older ones are able to go hang out with their friends more. i think as they get older and can do more things independtly it gets better. as for now if they are really getting annoying we make them hug. boy do they hate that. good luck and things will get better.
2006-08-23 10:58:01 · answer #1 · answered by Syri S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA HA HA HA HA HA. I love this letter. Thank you for the smile and good thoughts. I have 2 boys 18 mos apart and God, this was the order of the day. It was always something and sometimes it got really stressful. I dislike spanking kids and very seldom did. I alway found that just verbal stuff worked much better. They almost burned the house down one time and they got a spanking for that though because I had warned them not play with matches. They ignored it twice and then they got a spanking. I read a long time ago that when a person spanks a child, it is important to hold the child and explain to them why they got one. The grow out of it. Never ever show partiality. When one has a birthday, always give the other one a present also. Partiality is the most horrible thing you can do between children. Take my word for it, they grow out of it and there isn't much you can do until that time. Good luck and thanks again for the memories. One day you will look back and smile yourself.
2006-08-22 07:45:27 · answer #2 · answered by Tony T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. It's gotta be the age gap. Try getting them involved in something that's going to require them to work together. Does the five year old still need to learn how to ride a bike, tie his shoes, anything that his older sib might be able to help him with. If the older one takes sometime out of his day to be curtious and kind and give some extra attention that the little one is craving than the rivalry could calm down a little, since that is what the young one is craving. Tell the older one if he helps you by spending some of that time being a "mentor" to the younger child than he can have a reward such as ... something he wants. Extra time at bedtime on the weekend, a sleepover at a friends house, something.
2006-08-22 14:05:11 · answer #3 · answered by puzzleraspie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother used to make us stand on opposite sides of the room and make us say nice things about one another and take a step forward until we reached the middle and then we had to hug. Sometimes they were things like *******doesn't smell bad. Especially at the start of the "game" but by the end they were ligit compliments. My girls are to little to play the game but I plan on using when they do. Good luck. Think of it this way, your over half way to sanity, your oldest is 11. Only 7 more years to go. The good Lord will stand by your side and keep you from killing them I promise.
2006-08-22 07:44:35 · answer #4 · answered by Tara R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely as quickly as we've been little me and my sisters fought plenty up until eventually we grew to become adults. I even have 2 youthful brothers that there is an age hollow between us and we on no account fought. My 2 sisters in spite of the undeniable fact that are no longer getting alongside to on the present time and my brothers stay faraway from one in each and every of my sisters and that i'm the only one interior the kin that all and sundry loves!
2016-09-29 13:38:36 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your 11 yr old evenutally his five your old brother is going to be as big as him if not bigger and remember how mean he was to him. Don't play favorites no matter what you do they will know that you are doing it.
2006-08-22 15:04:22 · answer #6 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had two daughters who were a little closer in age and i didn't think they would ever stop!!! we had rules when my kids were young that should help yours also rule #1` if something belongs to your brother ,it is up to him to share it .if he doesn;t want to and you proceed to argue you can go to your room until you act appropiatly rule#2 if you can not get along, then ,you will spend the day NOT being allowed to talk or interact with your brother.rule#3 if you can not talk in your inside voice then you will have to go outside(weather permitting) so the rest of us can enjoy the inside quiet.
2006-08-22 07:44:06 · answer #7 · answered by jeanette98070 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your eldest one that after your demise he has to take care of his brother.tell him to be consiserate and share his toys with him. tell him that the reason his younger brother likes his toys is that he wants to be like his favourite older brother. tell your younger son to treat his older brother with respect or else his older brother will be shipping off to hostel and never will come home.
2006-08-22 09:08:06 · answer #8 · answered by atahsina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully it won't get worse. You should tell them that they only have each other! My friend and his brother always beat each other up and one of them is 22!
2006-08-23 02:00:01 · answer #9 · answered by Don Dons! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you get any good answers please let me know, my boys (9&11) aren't allowed to visit grandma at the same time!
2006-08-22 07:35:06 · answer #10 · answered by skylark455st2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋