Help Please?

Question

Hi I'm 18 years old and I'm ready to get pregnat and so is boy friend. But my parents and his don't think that that is ok yet. What do u think that I should do about this Please Help really need it

yes I have thought about the future we r getting ingaged and we already live together I was a very well brought up child and was a very responsible teenager and we r ready really... but if the mogority think that it's not time then we will wait but we think it is time becuase we are willing to be reasponsibly for it and there when it needs us and we both have our bachloers degree so I think that we r ready do u...

my mother owned a daycare when I was yonger and I had to babysit alot and I mean alot so I no what it is like from that piont of view but rea;ly I need a good answer

Answer 1

I'm with everyone else - you need to wait. You need to think. This is not a decision to be made lightly. WHY do you think that you should have a baby now?

Why are you not getting married first? I suspect you don't have the money to get married - if you can't afford to marry, then you can't afford a baby - and you certainly aren't going to be able to afford a baby after you're married!

Are either of you working? It's great to have a degree, but without a job, it's just a piece of paper that means you just incurred a lot of debt on your student loans.

Don't be in a rush about this - this is a major life decision.

Answer 2

Do either of you or your bf plan on going to college? You say you are "planning on getting engaged"? Why aren't you engaged already then? Don't you think it would be easier and more sensible to plan a wedding, than worry about planning a baby shower, and paying for doctor's bills, pediatrician visits, diapers, formula, etc? Why not enjoy being young! Go to college so that you can afford to give your future children the very best that life has to offer! Loving kids and growing up in a day care center, has nothing to do with real life 24/7 parenting!
I strongly urge you to WAIT until after you are married and out of college!
*Even if you're a mature 18 yr old, you still haven't lived enough life yet to know what you're gonna want in 5, 10, and 18 yrs from now! Take your time and enjoy being young!!!

Answer 3

There is no right or wrong answer as long as you and your boyfriend are prepared. Make sure that you two are bringing a baby into a stable environment. It takes more money than you could ever imagine when you bring a baby into the picture. It's not just keeping the rent paid for you now, it's making sure the baby is in a safe environment and all his or her needs are met. You never know when they are going to get sick and medicine is expensive. (Not all medicine is covered on insurance or medical card) Diapers don't come cheap either, when they are first born it seems like no sooner than you change them they will go again. Not to mention there are many obstacles to come with a young relationship. I had my daughter Brooklyn in December right before I turned 21 and got married the following February. I can't say I'd change being young because it takes so much energy to raise a child but if I'd known the extra stress it can add to a relationship I probably would have waited to see if we both were ready for that challenge. If you two truly believe you are ready, it's up to you. You're 18 now, you know you're decisions have their consequences, just be prepared to accept them. Good luck.

Answer 4

Danielle, you need to enjoy your youth! You have plenty of time for children. Trust me this person you are with now might not be the person you want to be w/in the future. And having a child will only complicate things. Baby sit for an infant for a while and get a taste of what being a mother would be like. The are a HUGE responsibility. Nobody can talk you out of it but you really should think seriously about it. You would be very selfish if you went a head and had a child w/o knowing truly in your heart that you are ready to be a mother.

Answer 5

First off, babysitting is nothing like having a child of your own. I am 21 and I have a 7 month old daughter, while I would not change having her in mylife, there were things that I wanted to do with my life, that I cannot do now because I am a full time mom. I am married and have been for more than a year now. You may think that you are ready for a baby, but I don't think that anyone starting out is. You need to figure out what you want out of your life, and if being a mom, and a mom only is it then go for it. But do allow me to say that I believe that you need to me married first for a while. Enjoy life, you are still young.

Answer 6

Well, for a fact that u r 18, ur parents may think that u r young. To them maybe u still have a lot to do for ur future and getting pregnant means havy-duty responsibilities. Furthermore if u wanna pregnant, what u need most is also support frm ur family and boyfriend. Apart frm that, is ur boyfriend stable career-wise, financial-wise and marriage-wise? take sometime and dont rush into things such as this. There are still better things to accomplish at ur age. U will never run out of babies, so whats the rush? Get married 1st, plan ur honeymoon, then get a pet cat together or smth. re-consider after everything is stable. Im sure u wan the best for the baby as well. Is not abt ur ability to take care of them and ur experiences in care centres, but things such as education expenses and stuff wld be on ur way right after that blob of meat seperates frm u.

Answer 7

I would agree with your parents and I am really not that much older than you are. At your age I was feeling very similar to you. Then I had a change of heart. I started thinking about all of the things that I would not be able to do if we decided to have a child. It turns out...the guy I was with in High School was not the guy I wanted to spend my life with...I grew up and he stayed the same..Just think about what would have happened if I had not thought about my decision that would have created another life. I would either be on my own supporting a child with his/ her father living somewhere other than with me or I would be living with this man slowly dieing because I was unable to follow my dreams and live to do what I love. I hope that you think about this before you decide to act. You both are very young and have many years ahead of you before you make a commitment like this. You may feel that you are ready, but even being an adult who is financially stable and happily married it is alot to take in. I wish you the best when making this important decision. May God bless you and keep you in his prayers. Good luck in what ever you choose...if you are going to do it, at least do it right and make sure that you are completely ready.

Answer 8

Both of you are too young to have a baby. Besides responsibility, everything is about money. If both of you can afford at least $48,000 a year to raise this baby, then it's something you can consider doing. The $48,000 does not include buying baby necessities to prepare for the arrival of this baby, which is another $2,000. If you plan to put the baby in daycare, it's about $1,000-$1,500 more a month. When the baby reaches 16, you'll have to buy him/her a car and pay for their college tuition. At the same time, you'll need to purchase life insurance for the both of you (in case anything happens).

By the way, I don't believe that you have a Bachelors degree yet. There's so many mispellings and grammar problem in your paragraphs. You may want to take a couple more English classes before you have the baby.

Answer 9

You are still very young. First, you want to set a good example for your children. That means getting an education so you have not only a future but a means of support for the children. So, if by some fluke you and the "boyfriend" don't work out then you can support yourself and the kids (nursing is good-2yrs in school and they make lots of money to start out). Your next good example for your children is to get married before you have them. I realize this is not the 1950's but if you want them to live a wholesome life you have to lead by example. They live what they know. You are young, you have many years ahead to have children. Don't rush this, children are huge responsibilities and deserve to be loved and taken care of to the absolute best of your abilities. I have three boys and would not trade them for anything in the world. I have an advantage though, I had already finished college, was married and had a home. I had time to enjoy being with my children, I was able to work part-time and spend as much time with them as possible. When I am at work, my husband is home with the kids. Our jobs allow us the flexibility of doing this. Take things slow, think about the future, start preparing now.

Answer 10

You sound very determined and no one can convince you if you've already made up your mind but it's good to be aware of a few things. Peronally, there is no way I would have even considered having kids before I knew I was in a 100% committed for life kind of relationship (ie marriage). Before I had kids I thought it would be a breeze because I had done a lot of babysitting, too. It's REALLY different. Everyone will tell you that once you have kids everything in your life will be different. It's true - EVERYTHING. At this point, you may think you know what it's like to be tired but the kind of tired you are once you have kids is something you've not experienced before. You're going to be watching other people go out and do things like travel, go to restaurants and movies at the drop of a hat - you won't be able to do that anymore. It can take a week to make a plan and get a babysitter! You're going to suddenly feel a lot older than you want to feel. If you're planning to become a parent, which is an extremley grown up thing to do if you're going to do it well, talk to people you know and trust for advice - and listen to it. That's maturity - and being a parent takes a lot more of that than we realize - trust me. You don't want to end up resenting your kids because your youth was cut short. Just some things to think about. Maybe it will be a breeze for you and none of this is relevant. But think very carefully, and best of luck to you and your boyfriend.