If a muslim person has had sex and is sorry for it, will God forgive?

Question

A friend of mine has commited adultry and asked me if God will forgive. I don't know the answer for his Q so I am asking it here.
Please let me know what I should tell him.

Please keep in mind my friend is Muslim so the answers that have to do with Christ does not apply to him.

Answer 1

Assalamualikum!

Praise be to Allaah.

Zinaa (unlawful sexual activity, fornication/adultery) is one of the major sins, concerning which Allaah and His Messenger issued a stern warning. Allaah has warned the one who does this of a painful torment, and has stated that it is an immoral action and an evil way. This person has to repent and seek forgiveness. His repentance will not be valid unless he gives up this evil action, regrets what he has done in the past and is determined never to do it again. Zinaa on the part of a married man is worse than zinaa on the part of one who is not married, hence the punishment for a married person who commits zinaa is stoning to death. He should know that Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful” [al-Noor 24:31]. And according to a saheeh hadeeth: “Repentance wipes out that which came before it.” Let him hasten to repent and turn to Allaah. May Allaah help him to do that and to reform himself.








In the Islamic faith, the first and the foremost and the most reliable and highest form of religious law for faithful Muslims is contained within the holy Qur'an. The Prophetic Traditions (also known as Hadith, which are the sayings and doings and tacit approval of things said or done in the presence of the Prophet Muhammad, p.b.u.h.)(1) are a second source of law. With that said, we hope the following reply will answer your question.

According to Islam, procreation is not the sole and only purpose of marriage. While procreation is a primary purpose, companionship and enjoyment of the spouse along with avoidance of unlawful or sinful relationships are also secondary purposes. These secondary purposes play their own important roles in the Islamic teachings which govern sexual relations. In other words, although procreation is definitely an aim, it is not an exclusive aim. Procreation is the major purpose, but nonetheless enjoyment and other purposes also play significant roles in married life as evidenced by the Islamic teachings which relate to sexual relations.

Although the primary purpose of sex is procreation, the Qur'an does not forbid it when a woman reaches menopause. For example, in the Qur'an is the story is about the Prophet Zakariya a.s.(2) (Christian spelling -- Zakaria) [see Qur'an 19:1-15] who had fathered a child well into his old age. One verse in particular reads:

"He [Zakariya] said: "O my Lord! How shall I have a son, when my wife is barren and I have grown quite decrepit from old age?" [Qur'an 19:8]

"He said: "So (it will be): thy Lord saith, "That is easy for Me: I did indeed create thee before, when thou hadst been nothing!" [Qur'an 19:9]

The Qur'anic reference above, then, shows the case of a couple carrying on sexual relations well into old age. This in turn signifies that these relations are allowed within marriage and into old age for Muslim couples.

You will recall that this same story is found in the Old Testament with reference to Zakaria a.s. who was made to be mute for three days and nights as a sign from God.

In this connection, it is interesting to note that even in our relatively recent times, history has recorded the fact that the great Sufi Shaikh, Abdul Qadir Gilani r.a., was born on the 1st day of Ramadan 470 A.H [some historians say 471 A.H] which corresponds to March 18, 1078 A.D. His mother was 60 years of age at the time of his birth.

In terms of the Traditions of the Prophet Muhammad, p.b.u.h. we can see another meaningful example of this in the life of the Prophet. The Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. married his first wife (Khadija aged 40) when he was 25 years old, and he remained monogamous throughout his entire 26 years of marriage to her. He then married A'isha at the age of 54, but this was three years after the death of Khadija. It was after this marriage that he then took other wives. By the way, many non-Muslim writers have directed a great deal of unjust criticism against him for this. In fact all of these women were quite old or were widows who had been left destitute and without protection during those troubled times. And so as the head of State at Medina, the only proper way (according to Arab code) in which Muhammad p.b.u.h. could extend both protection and maintenance to them was by marriage.(3) [see also Appendix A] Those marriages were not only consummated, but ancillary sexual relations have also been reported to us through the Hadith literature. Hence another proof that sexual relations are considered acceptable well into old age. "Polygamy was not always considered to be so reprehensible as it is now. For example, St. Augustine himself observed that there was no intrinsic immorality or sinfulness in it, and declared that polygamy was not a crime where it was the legal institution of a country."(4) This subject matter, however, is another topic altogether. [see also Appendix B]

We have reproduced an excerpt on our website by Dr. M.A. Rauf from his book 'Marriage in Islam'. In this excerpt, Dr. Rauf discusses in great detail the advantages and possible disadvantages of marriage. Among the advantages that he discusses are procreation, fulfilment of the natural urge, companionship, comfort and relief to the soul, and so on. He also discusses the disadvantages and the types of burdens and risks involved with marriage. All of the advantages or benefits are in effect meant to be regarded as the secondary purpose of marriage which supplement its major aim or purpose, namely procreation. We would highly recommend that you read this excerpt for a more complete understanding of our present response to you.

With regards to your question regarding menopause, we would also strongly suggest that you read the book "The Proper Conduct of Marriage in Islam" by Imam al-Ghazzali. (5) [see also Appendix C] We would particularly refer you to where al-Ghazzali explains the rationale and reasoning for the recommendation of marriage - even for the impotent. In his Conclusion, al-Ghazzali discusses the other purposes of marriage and that is to fulfil the natural sexual desires as well as to experience its joy and protection from the perils of lust.

If one cohabits with one's own wife -- not for carnal pleasure alone, but for performing the duty imposed by God -- it would be an act of piety and devotion, meriting the pleasure and reward from God and this is as the Prophet p.b.u.h. has observed. This is what has been described as spiritualizing temporal duties. [see also Appendix D] You might also refer to where Imam al-Ghazzali discusses the subject of relaxation and recreation for the soul and so on.

Islam also prescribes certain rules of sexual etiquette. Imam al-Ghazzali also sets out the PropheticTraditions which deal with the pleasures of 'foreplay' and other similar enjoyments that are permitted when the wife is menstruating. Not permitted, however, is to go so far as to copulate by means of penetration into the vagina during menstruation.

Islam has declared fornication (which by definition in Islam includes adultery) unlawful, and it goes to great lengths to make it repugnant by sanction and deterrent. It has even gone so far as to make any alliances of this type of unlawful sexual relationship a heinous sin and an odious offence. In other words, sexual relations of any kind, that fall outside of lawful marriage, are absolutely forbidden. For example:

"Nor come nigh to adultery for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils)." [Qur'an 17:32]

"The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication - flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a party of the Believers witness their punishment." [Qur'an 24:2]

"Those who bring the charge of adultery against chaste women but cannot produce four witnesses to prove the charge, give them 80 lashes and their testimony should never be believed." [Qur'an 24:4]

Four Prophetic Traditions [Hadith]:

1. "Said the Prophet: 'A grievously heinous sin in the estimation of God is to commit adultery with a woman living in one's neighbourhood'" [Bukhari & Muslim]

2. " He or she who casts a lewd glance at another and allows himself or herself to be attracted likewise, both meet the displeasure of God." [Dailami]

3. "There is nothing which God abhors more than adultery."

4. "Observed the Prophet: 'Whenever a calamity befalls a centre of population, take it for granted that immorality is rampant in that place.' [Dailami]

More Qur'anic quotes and Hadith:

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts). Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." [Qur'an 30:21]

"And those who pray, "Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous." [Qur'an 25:74]

"Your wives are a tilth unto you; so go to your tilth when or how you will." [Qur'an 2:223]

Hadith: "Narrated Abdullah Ibn Abbas: Ibn Umar misunderstood (the Qur'anic verse, "So come to your tilth however you will") - may Allah forgive him. The fact is that this clan of the Ansar, who were idolaters, lived in the company of the Jews who were the people of the Book. They (the Ansar) accepted their superiority over themselves in respect of knowledge and the followed most of their actions. The people of the Book (i.e., the Jews) used to have intercourse with their women on one side alone (i.e., lying on their backs). This was the most concealing position for (the vagina of) the women. This clan of the Ansar adopted this practice from them. But this tribe of the Quraysh used to uncover their women completely, and seek pleasure with them from in front and behind and laying them on their backs.

When the muhajirun (the immigrants) came to Medina, a man married a woman of the Ansar. He began to do the same kind of action with her, but she disliked it, and said to him: We were approached on one side (i.e. lying on the back); do it so, otherwise keep away from me. The matter of theirs spread widely and it reached the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him).

So Allah, the Exalted, sent down the Qur'anic verse: "Your wives are a tilth to you, so come to your tilth however you will," i.e., from in front, from behind or lying on the back. But this verse meant the place of the delivery of the child, i.e., the vagina." [from the Hadith literature: Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 11, Number 2159]

"Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and ye are their garments." [Qur'an 2:187]

"It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and (then) He has created from him his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her . . ." [Qur'an 7:189]

"And Allah has made for you mates (and companions) of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best: will they then believe in vain things, and be ungrateful for Allah's favours?" [Qur'an 16:72]

Hadith: On the authority of Abu Dharr : Some of the companions of the messenger of Allah said :" O Messenger of Allah, the affluent have made off with the rewards, they pray as we pray they fast as we fast, and they give away in charity the superfluity of their wealth." He said:" Has not Allah made things for you to give away in charity ? Every tasbihah is a charity, every takbirah is a charity, every tahmidah is a charity, and every tahlilah is a charity, to enjoin a good action is a charity, to forbid an evil action is a charity, and in the sexual act of each of you there is a charity." They said: "O Messenger of Allah, when one of us fulfils his sexual desire will he have some reward for that?" He said: "Do you not think that were he to act upon it unlawfully he would be sinning ? Likewise, if he has acted upon it lawfully he will have a reward." [Muslim]
. Chapter on Repentance

Scholars say that it is s a duty to repent of every wrong action. If it is disobedience which occurs between a person and Allah and does not involve the right of another human being, repentance has three preconditions:

The first is that one divest himself of disobedience.

The second is that he regret doing it.

The third is that he resolve not to ever return to it.

If one of the three is lacking, then his repentance is not sound.

If it involves to another human being, repentance has four preconditions: these three and that he discharges his duty to the other person. If it is money or the like, he pays it to him. If it is a hadd-punishment because of slander and the like it, he give shim power over him or seeks his pardon. If it is slander, he undoes it, He must repent of all wrong actions. If he repents of some of them, the people of truth say that his repentance of them is sound, but he still has the rest. There is much evidence in the Book, the Sunna and the consensus of the Community about the obligation to repent.

Allah Almighty says, "Turn towards Allah, O believers, every one of you, so that perhaps you will have success," (24:31) and the Almighty says, "Ask your Lord for forgiveness and then turn in repentance to Him," (11:3) and the Almighty says, "O you who believe! Turn in sincere repentance to Allah." (66:8)

13. Abu Hurayra said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, 'By Allah, I ask Allah's forgiveness and turn towards Him in repentance more than seventy times a day."

14. Al-Agharr ibn Yasar al-Muzani said that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "O people! Turn in repentance towards Allah and ask His forgiveness. I turn towards Him a hundred times a day." [Muslim]

15. Abu Hamza Anas ibn Malik al-Ansari, the servant of the Messenger of Allah reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Allah is happier about the repentance of one His slaves than one of you would be about finding your camel which had strayed away from you in the middle of the desert." [Agreed upon]

In the variant of Muslim, "Allah has greater joy at the repentance of one His slaves when he turns towards Him than one of you would have over his mount, which, having escaped from him with his food and drink in the middle of the desert so that he has despaired of finding it and gone to a tree to lie down in its shade, suddenly appears standing by him while he is in that state, so that he takes its reins and then says out of the intensity of his joy, 'O Allah, You are my slave and I am Your Lord!' getting confused because of his intense joy.'"

16. From Abu Musa 'Abdullah ibn Qays al-Ash'ari is that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Allah Almighty will stretch out His hand during the night, turning towards the one who did wrong during the day, and stretch out His hand during the day, turning towards the one who did wrong during the night, until the day the sun rises from the place it set." [Muslim]

17. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Allah will turn towards anyone who turns in repentance before the time that the sun rises from the place it set." [Muslim]

18. Abu 'Abdu'r-Rahman 'Abdullah ibn 'Umar ibn al-Khattab said that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Allah the Mighty and Majestic accepts the repentance of His servant as long as long as his death-rattle has not begun." [At-Tirmidhi]

19. Zirr ibn Hubays said, "I went to Safwan ibn 'Assal to ask him about wiping over leather socks. He said, 'What has brought you, O Zirr?' I said, 'The search for knowledge.' He said, 'The angels lower their wings to anyone who seeks knowledge, out of pleasure at what he is seeking.' I said, 'I am troubled about wiping over leather socks after defecation and urination. You were one of the Companions of the Prophet, so I have come to ask you whether you heard him mention anything regarding that.' He said, 'Yes. He used to command us when we were travelling ­ or journeying ­ not to remove our leather socks for three days and nights except in the case of janaba. We were not to remove them on account of defecation, urination or sleep.' I said, 'Did you hear him mention anything about love?' He said, 'Yes. Once we were with the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, on a journey and, while we were in his presence, a bedouin with a loud voice called out to him, "O Muhammad!" The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, answered him in a similarly loud voice, "Go ahead!" I said to him, "Bother you! Lower your voice! You are in the presence of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and this is forbidden!" He retorted, "By Allah, I will not lower it!" The bedouin said, "Can a man love a people when he has not yet joined them?" The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "A man will be with the one he loves on the Day of Rising."' Safwan continued to relate to us until he mentioned a door in the West the span of whose breadth is ­ or whose breadth it would take a rider ­ forty or seventy years.'"

Sufyan, one its transmitters, said, "It is in the direction of Syria. Allah Almighty, on the day He created the heavens and the earth, created it to be open for repentance and it will not be locked until the sun rises from there." [at-Tirmidhi & others]

20. Abu Sa'id ibn Sa'd ibn Malik ibn Sinan al-Khudri reported that the Prophet of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Among those before you there was a man who killed ninety-nine people. He asked who was the most knowledgeable man in the world and was directed to a monk. He went to him and said that he had killed ninety-nine people and was repentance possible for him? The monk said, 'No,' so he killed him and made it a hundred. Then he again asked who was the most knowledgeable man on earth and was directed to a man of knowledge. He said that he had killed a hundred people, so was repentance possible for him? The man said, 'Yes, who can come between you and repentance? Go to such-and-such a land, where there are some people worshipping Allah Almighty. Worship Allah with them and do not return to your own country. It is an evil place.' So he went and then, when he was half way there, he died. The angels of mercy and angels of punishment started to argue about him. The angels of mercy said, 'He came in repentance, turning with his heart to Allah Almighty.' The angels of punishment said, 'He has not done a single good action.' An angel came in a human form and they appointed him arbitrator between them. He said, 'Measure the distance between the two countries and whichever one he is nearer to, that is the one he belongs to.' They measured and found he was nearer to the land to which he was going, so the angels of mercy took him." [Agreed upon]

In the variant in the Sahih, "He was a hand-span nearer to the virtuous land, so he was put among their people." In the variant in the Sahih, "Allah revealed to this country to distance itself and that one to come nearer. He said, 'Measure the distance between them,' and they found that he was nearer to the good one by a hand-span and he forgave him." In one variant, "He was nearer it by a short neck."

22. Abu Nujayd 'Imran ibn al-Husayn al-Khuza'i reported that a woman from Juhayna came to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, who was pregnant as a result of fornication. She said, "O Messenger of Allah, I have broken a hadd, so carry out the punishment on me. The Prophet of Allah summoned her guardian and said, "Treat her well. When she gives birth, bring her back to me." He did that and the Prophet of Allah commanded that her garment be tied tightly about her and then he commanded that she be stoned. Then he prayed over her. 'Umar said to him, "Do you pray over her, Messenger of Allah, when she committed fornication? He said, "She repented with such a repentance that if it were to be divided out among seventy of the people of Madina, it would be enough for all of them. Can you think of anything better than her offering herself to Allah, the Mighty and Majestic?" [Muslim]

23. Ibn 'Abbas reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "If the son of Adam possessed a valley full of gold he would want to have two valleys, yet his mouth will only be filled by earth. Allah turns towards those who turn in repentance." [Agreed upon]

24. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Allah, glory be to Him, laughs about two men, one of whom kills the other and yet both of them enter the Garden. One fights in the way of Allah and is killed. Then Allah turns towards the killer, who then becomes Muslim himself and is martyred." [Agreed upon]

3. Chapter on Steadfastness

Allah Almighty says, "O you who believe! Be steadfast; be supreme in steadfastness" (3:200), and the Almighty says, "We will test you with a certain amount of fear and hunger and loss of wealth and life and fruits. But give good news to the steadfast," (W2:154; H2:155) and the Almighty says, "The steadfast will be paid their wages in full without any reckoning." (W39:11; H39:10) The Almighty said, "But if someone is steadfast and forgives, that is the most resolute course to follow." (W42:40; H42:43) The Almighty says, "Seek help in steadfastness and the prayer. Allah is with the steadfast" (W2:152; H2:153) and the Almighty says, "We will test you until We know the true fighters among you and those who are steadfast" (W47:30; H47:31)

The ayats about the command to be steadfast and the clarification of its excellence are numerous and well-known.

25. Abu Malik al-Harith ibn 'Asim al-Ash'ari reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Purity is half of belief. 'Praise be to Allah' fills up the balance, and 'Glory be to Allah and praise be to Allah' fills up everything between the heavens and the earth. The prayer is a light. Sadaqa is a proof. Steadfastness is an illumination. The Qur'an is a proof for you or against you. Everybody goes out and trades with his own self, either setting it free or destroying it." [Muslim]

26. Abu Sa'id Sa'd ibn Malik ibn Sinan al-Khudri said, "Some of the people of the Ansar asked for something from the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and he gave it to them. Then they asked him again and he gave to them until he had used up everything he had. He said, 'If I had anything more, I would not keep it from you. Whoever refrains, Allah will spare him from needing to ask. Whoever wants to be independent, Allah will make him so. Whoever shows fortitude, Allah will increase him in that. No one can be given any better and greater gift than fortitude.'" [Agreed upon]

27. Abu Yahya Suhayb ibn Sinan said, "The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, 'What an extraordinary thing the business of the believer is! All of it is good for him. And that only applies to the believer. If good fortune is his lot, he is grateful and it is good for him. If something harmful happens to him, he is steadfast and that is good for him too.'" [Muslim]

28. Anas said, "When the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, was very ill, the pain began to make him faint. Fatima said, 'Have you more pain, father?' He said, 'After today your father will suffer no more pain.' When he died, she said, 'Father, your Lord has answered your prayer. Father, the Garden of Firdaws is your shelter. Father, shall we announce your death to Jibril?' When he was buried, Fatima said, 'Are you happy to put dust on the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace?'" [al-Bukhari]

29. Abu Zayd Usama ibn Zayd ibn Haritha, the client of the Messenger of Allah, one he loved and the son of one he loved, said, "A daughter of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, sent a message to him saying, 'One of my sons is dying, so come.' He sent his greetings to her and said, 'What Allah takes is His and what He gives is His. Everything has a fixed term with Him, so she should show fortitude and expect a reward.' She sent to him imploring him to come to her. He got up with Sa'd ibn 'Ubada, Mu'adh ibn Jabal, Ubayy ibn Ka'b, Zayd ibn Thabit and some other men, may Allah be pleased with them. The child was brought to the Messenger of Allah and he was shuddering. The Prophet's eyes were flowing with tears and Sa'd said, 'Messenger of Allah, what is this?' He said, 'This is an aspect of mercy which Allah has put in the hearts of His slaves.'"

One variant has, "In the hearts of whomever He will of His slaves. Allah is merciful to those of His slaves who are merciful. [Agreed upon]

30. Suhayb reported hat the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Among those before you there was a king who had a sorcerer. When he was old, he said to the king, 'I am old, so send me a lad to whom I can teach sorcery.' He sent him a lad for him to teach. When the boy was on the way, he came upon a monk. He sat down to listen to his words and liked what he heard. Whenever he went to the sorcerer, he would pass by the monk and sit with him. When he came to the sorcerer, the sorcerer would beat him. He complained about that to the monk who said, 'When you are afraid of the sorcerer, say, "My family kept me." And when you are afraid of your family, say, "The sorcerer kept me."'

"While all this was going on, he came upon a great beast which was barring the people's way and said, 'Today I will find out who is better, the sorcerer or the monk.' He took a stone and said, 'O Allah, if what the monk does is preferable to You to what the sorcerer does, then turn this beast aside so that the people can pass.' He threw it and killed the animal and the people went on. He went to the monk and told him and the monk said to him, 'O my boy, today you are better than I am. I see the point that your business has reached. You will be tested and, when you are tested, do not point me out.' The boy used to heal the blind and the lepers and treat people for all their ailments. A companion of the king who was blind heard this and brought him many gifts. He said, 'All that I have gathered for you here is yours if you heal me.' He said, 'I do not heal anyone. It is Allah Almighty who heals. If you believe in Allah Almighty, I will pray to Allah to heal you." So he believed in Allah Almighty and Allah Almighty healed him. He went to the king and sat with him as he used to do. The king said to him, 'Who has returned your sight to you?' He said, 'It was my Lord.' He said, 'You have a Lord other than me?!' He said, 'My Lord and your Lord, Allah.' So he seized him and did not stop torturing him until he pointed out the boy. The boy was brought and the king said to him, 'O boy, your sorcery has reached the point where you heal the blind and the lepers, and you do such-and-such and such-and-such.' He said, 'I do not heal anyone. It is Allah Almighty who heals.' He seized him and did not stop torturing him until he pointed out the monk. The monk was brought and told, 'Renounce your religion.' He refused. He called for a saw and placed the saw on the centre of his head and split it until the two halves fell apart. Then the companion of the king was brought and told, 'Renounce your religion!' He refused, and the the saw was placed on the centre of his head and split it until the two halves fell apart. Then the boy was brought and told, 'Renounce your religion,' and he refused. He handed him over to a group of his companions and said, 'Take him to such-and-such a mountain, and take him up the mountain. When you reach its summit, if he has not renounced his religion, throw him off.' They took him and brought him up the mountain and he said, 'O Allah, save me from them in whatever way You will.' The mountain shook and they fell. He walked to the king and the king said to him, 'What has happened to your companions?' He said, 'Allah Almighty saved me from them.' He handed him over to a group of his companions and said, 'Take him and put him in a ship and take him to the middle of the sea. If he does not recant, then throw him into it.' They took him and he said, 'O Allah, save me from them in whatever way You will.' The ship capsized and they were drowned. He walked back to the king and the king said to him, 'What has happened to your companions?' He said, 'Allah Almighty saved me from them.' He said to the king, 'You will not kill me until you do what I command you.' He said, 'What is that?' He said, 'You should gather the people together on one plain and crucify me on a palm trunk. Then take an arrow from your quiver and put the arrow in the centre of your bow and say, "In the name of Allah, the Lord of the boy," and then shoot it. If you do that, you will kill me.' So he gathered the people together on one plain and crucified him on a trunk and then took his arrow from his quiver and placed the arrow in the middle of the bow and then said, "In the name of Allah, the Lord of the boy," and then shot it and the arrow struck his temple. He put his hand on his temple and then died. The people said, "We believe in the Lord of the boy." The king was brought and told, "Do you not see that, by Allah, your fear has brought about the very thing you were afraid of! The people have believed." So he commanded that a trench be dug with openings onto it and had fires lit in it. He said, 'Throw into it, anyone who does not renounce his religion or tell him to jump.' They did that until a woman came with one of her children. She hesitated to jump into it and the child said to her, 'Mother, be steadfast! You have the truth.'" [Muslim]

31. Anas said, "The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, passed by a woman who was weeping at a grave and said, 'Fear Allah and show fortitude.' She said, not recognising him, 'Leave me alone. You have not been struck by such an affliction as mine!' She was told, 'It is the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace.' She went to the door of the Prophet and, finding no one guarding the door, she said, 'I did not recognise you.' He said, 'The time for fortitude is at the first shock.'" [Agreed upon]

In a variant in Muslim, "Weeping for a child of hers."

32. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Allah Almighty says, 'The Garden will be the reward for My believing slave when I take his close friend from the people of this world and he hopes for the Garden as his reward." [al-Bukhari]

33. 'A'isha asked the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, about the plague and he told her that it was a punishment which Allah Almighty sent against whomever He will but that Allah Almighty had made it a mercy to the believers. "There is no slave who comes into contact with the plague and then remains where he is with fortitude and in expectation of the reward, knowing that only what Allah has written for him will befall him, who will receive any other reward than that of a martyr." [Al-Bukhari]

34. Anas said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, 'Allah the Mighty and Exalted says, 'When I test My slave regarding the two things he loves and he shows fortitude, I repay him for them with the Garden.'" He meant his eyes. [al-Bukhari]

35. 'Ata' ibn Abi Rabah said, "Ibn 'Abbas said to me, 'Shall I show you a woman who is one of the people of the Garden?' I replied, 'Please do.' He said, 'This black woman came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and said, "I have fits during which I expose myself. Pray to Allah Almighty for me." He said, "If you wish, you can show fortitude and you will receive the Garden, and if you wish, I will pray to Allah Almighty to heal you." She said, "I will show fortitude." She said, "I expose myself so pray to Allah that I do not expose myself." So he prayed for her.'" [Agreed upon]

36. Abu 'Abdu'r-Rahman 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ud said, "It is as if I could still see the Messenger of Allah talking about one of the Prophets, may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon them, whose people beat him, making his blood flow. While he was wiping the blood from his face, he said, 'O Allah, forgive my people. They do not know.'" [Agreed upon]

37. Abu Sa'id and Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "No fatigue, illness, anxiety, sorrow, harm or sadness afflicts any Muslim, even to the extent of a thorn pricking him, without Allah wiping out his mistakes by it." [Agreed upon]

38. Ibn Mas'ud said, "I visited the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, when he had a fever. I said, "Messenger of Allah, you have a very high fever!' He replied, 'Yes. I have the fever of two of you.' I asked, 'Is that because you will have two rewards?' He said, 'Yes, it is like that. No Muslim is afflicted by harm, whether it is a thorn or something worse, without Allah expiating his evil deeds on that account and his sins fall away from him like leaves from a tree.'" [Agreed upon]

39. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "When Allah desires good for someone, He afflicts him." [Al-Bukhari]

40. Anas said, "The Messenger of Allah may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, 'None of you should wish for death because of some harm which has befallen him. If he has got to do something, he should say, 'O Allah, make me live if life is best for me and make me die if death is best for me." [Agreed upon]

41. Abu 'Abdullah Khabbab ibn al-Aratt, said "We complained to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, while he was using his cloak as a pillow in the shade of the Ka'ba, saying, 'Why do you not ask for victory for us? Why do you not make supplication for us?' He replied, 'Among those before you there was a man who was seized and put in a hole in the ground which was dug for him. Then a saw was brought, put to his head and he was sawed in half. Then he was raked with metal teeth through his flesh and bones. None of that turned him from his religion. Allah will complete this business so that a rider will be able to travel from San'a' to Hadramawt fearing none but Allah and wolves against his sheep, but you want to make things happen too quickly." [al-Bukhari]

One variant has, "While he was using his cloak as a pillow and 'we have encountered persecution from the idolaters.'"

42. Ibn Mas'ud said, "On the Day of Hunayn, the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, favoured some people over others in his division of the spoils. He gave al-Aqra' ibn Habis a hundred camels and gave 'Uyayna ibn Hisn the same number. He also gave to some of the nobles of the Arabs and favoured them in the division that day. A man said, 'By Allah, this a division which lacks justice and by which the face of Allah is not desired.' I said, 'By Allah, I will inform the Messenger of Allah!' So I went to him and informed him about what he had said. His face changed colour until it was red and then he said, 'Who will be just if Allah and His Messenger are not just?' Then he said, 'May Allah have mercy on Musa! He was abused more than this and he was patient.' I said, 'After this, I will never take any report to him again!'" [Agreed upon]

43. Anas reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "When Allah desires good for one of His slaves, He brings forward the punishment for him in this world. When Allah desires evil for His slave, He withholds from him what is due to him on account of his wrong actions and then settles it on the Day of Rising."

The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "The greatest reward goes together with the greatest affliction. When Allah Almighty loves people, He tests them. All who are content receive His good pleasure. Those who are angry receive His anger." [at-Tirmidhi]

44. Anas said, "A son of Abu Talha was ill. Abu Talha went out and the boy died. When Abu Talha returned, he said, 'How is my son?' Umm Sulaym, who was the mother of the boy, said, 'He is quieter than he was.' She brought him his supper and he ate. Then he had sexual intercourse with her and when he had finished, she said, 'Shroud the boy.' In the morning, Abu Talha went to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and informed him. He said, 'Did you have intercourse in the night?' He said, 'Yes.' He said, 'O Allah, bless them both,' and she gave birth to a boy. Abu Talha said to me, 'Carry him to the Prophet.' He sent some dates with him. He said, 'Is there anything with him?' He said, 'Yes, some dates.' The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, took a date and chewed it and then took it from his mouth and put it into the mouth of the child and rubbed its palate with it and named him 'Abdullah." [Agreed upon]

In the variant in al-Bukhari, Ibn 'Uyayna said, "A man of the Ansar said, 'I saw nine sons, all of whom could recite the Qur'an,' meaning the sons of this 'Abdullah who was born."

In a variant in Muslim, "A son of Abu Talha by Umm Sulaym died and she told her family, 'Do not tell Abu Talha about his son until I have told him myself.' She brought him supper and he ate and drank. Then she beautified herself for him better than she had ever beautified herself before, and he had intercourse with her. When she saw that he was full and had had sex with her, she said, 'Abu Talha, what would you think if some people lent something to a family and then asked for their loan back? Can they prevent them?' He replied, 'No.' She said, 'Then seek the reward for your son.'"

He said, "He became angry and then said, 'You left me until I was impure from intercourse and then told me about my son!' He went to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and told him what had happened. The Messenger of Allah said, 'May Allah bless the night for both of you.'" He said, "She became pregnant." He said, "The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, was on a journey and she was with him. When the Messenger of Allah came to Madina from a journey, he would never enter it at night. They drew near Madina and she went into labour. Abu Talha stayed with her and the Messenger of Allah went on." He said, "Abu Talha said, 'You know, O Lord, that I like to go out with the Messenger of Allah when he goes out and enter when he enters and I am held back by what You see.' Umm Sulaym said, 'Abu Talha, I am not feeling what I was feeling. Go on.' So he went. She went into labour when they arrived and gave birth to a boy. My mother said to me, 'Anas, no one could make him suckle until she took him to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. In the morning I carried him and took him to the Messenger of Allah,'" and he mentioned the entire hadith.

45. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "The strong man is not the one who throws people in wrestling. The strong man is the one who has control of himself when he is angry." [Agreed upon]

46. Sulayman ibn Surad said, "One day I was sitting with the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, while two men were quarreling. The face of one of them turned red and his veins stood out. The Messenger of Allah said, 'I know a word which, if you say it, will remove what you feel.' (Or he said '"I seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Shaytan' will remove from him what he feels.') They told him that the Prophet and two men were were quarreling said, 'Seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Shaytan.'" [Agreed upon]

47. Mu'adh ibn Anas reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "If someone restrains his anger when he is able to give vent to it, Allah ­ glory be to Him and may He will exalted!­ will summon him at the head of creatures on the Day of Rising so that he can chose whichever of the wide-eyed houris he wishes." [Abu Dawud and at-Tirmidhi]

48. Abu Hurayra reported that a man said to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, "Give me counsel." He said, "Do not get angry." He repeated his request several times and he said, "Do not get angry." [al-Bukhari]

49. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Believers, both men and women, will continue to be afflicted in respect of themselves, their children and their property until they meet Allah without any wrong actions at all." [at-Tirmidhi]

50. Ibn 'Abbas said, "'Uyayna ibn Hisn came and stayed with his nephew, al-Hurr ibn Qays, who was one of the group whom 'Umar brought near to him. The reciters were part of the people of the assembly and council of 'Umar, no matter whether they were mature men or young men. 'Uyayna told his nephew, 'Nephew, you have access to this amir, so ask him for permission for me to see him.' He asked permission and 'Umar gave permission. When he entered, he said, 'O Ibn al-Khattab! By Allah, it is that you do not give enough to us and you do not judge justly between us.' 'Umar was so angry that he wanted to punish him. Al-Hurr said to him, 'Amir al-Mu'minin, Allah Almighty said to His Prophet, "Make allowances for people; command what is right; and turn away from the ignorant." (7:199) This is one of the ignorant.' By Allah, 'Umar did not do less than that when he recited it. He acted in accordance with the Book of Allah Almighty." [al-Bukhari]

51. Ibn Mas'ud reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, 'After I am gone there will be misappropriation and matters of which you disapprove." They said, "O Messenger of Allah, what do you command us to do?" He said, "To fulfill the rights you owe to others and to ask Allah for what is owed to you." [Agreed upon]

52. Abu Yahya Usayd ibn Hudayr reported that a man of the Ansar said, "Messenger of Allah, will you not appoint me as you appointed so-and-so?" He said, "You will experience misappropriation after I have gone, so be patient until you meet me at the Basin." [Agreed upon]

53. Abu Ibrahim 'Abdullah ibn Abi Awfa reported that on one of the days when he came face to face with the enemy, the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, waited until the sun had declined and then stood up and said, "O people! Do not be too eager to meet the enemy, and ask Allah for well-being. When you do meet them, be steadfast. Know that the Garden lies under the shadow of the swords." The the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "O Allah, Sender-down of the Book and Mover of the clouds and Vanquisher of the companies, defeat them and help us against them!" [Agreed upon]

[from Sr. Aisha Bewley's translation


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Appendix A

From "Life of Muhammad" by A.H. Hamid Siddiqui. Hilal Publications, Calcutta 1981. Pages 243-247.

Marriages of the Holy Prophet

"He was hardly twenty-five years of age when he married Khadijah, who was fifteen years older than himself. It was with her and her alone that he passed all the years of his youth and manhood until she died three years before Hijra, when he was already a man of fifty. After the sad demise of Khadijah, he again went in for a widow, this time a helpless one in great distress. She was one of the earliest converts to Islam who had suffered many hardships for the cause of Truth.

The Holy Prophet married A'ishah, the daughter of his devoted friend Abu Bakr. She was the only virgin wife of Muhammad (peace be upon him).

Events took a very serious turn in Medina. The enmity of the Quraysh resulted in armed battles in which so many of the noble Muslims fell as martyrs. It was, therefore, the bounden duty of the Holy Prophet and his companions to alleviate the sufferings of the widows and the orphans who had been deprived of their husbands and fathers. Muhammad (peace be upon him) undertook the major burden on himself and married Hafsa, daughter of 'Umar, whose husband had died in the battle of Badr. It was on this ground of clemency and compassion that the Holy Prophet married Zaynab, the daughter of Khuzaimah, who had been deprived of her husband in Uhud. Her parents were non-Muslims living in Mecca and after the martyrdom of her husband, there was none to take care of her. The next lady to enter the hospitable household of the Holy Prophet was Umm Salamah whose husband had received fatal injuries in the battle of Uhud and died leaving behind a pregnant widow and a daughter. The Prophet was moved by her pitiable condition and honoured her by taking her as his wife. The events relating to the marriage of Zaynab bint Jahsh have been discussed in great detail in the foregoing pages and it has been established that this marriage was governed by some important social considerations, i.e. to obliterate the customs of adoptive affinity and also to remove the false notion then prevalent in society that the divorce of a noble lady by a freed slave undermined her prestige.

Besides these widows of his faithful followers, whom it fell to his lot to take under his protection and share their sufferings and sorrows, the Holy Prophet also took three widows of his enemies in marriage. The entry of these three ladies, Juwayriyah, Maymuna and Safiyyah (may Allah be pleased with them) in the house of the Holy Prophet, became the means whereby relations with various tribes were cemented and this is how hostilities came to an end.

It is quite evident that the marriages of the Holy Prophet were governed mainly by the feeling of compassion for the widows of his faithful followers, who had no means to fall back upon after they were bereft of the love and care of their husbands. This fact has been acknowledged even by the critics of the Prophet. "It would be remembered, however," says Bosworth Smith, "that most of Muhammad's marriages may be explained, at least, as much by his pity for the forlorn condition of the persons concerned, as by other motives."

Other marriages were contacted from the motives of policy, in order to conciliate the heads of rival factions.

Then there was also one more consideration, in no way less important than those discussed earlier, which led to these marriages. Muhammad (peace be upon him) was the bearer of God's message not only for men, but also for women. The womenfolk needed the prophetic guidance, training and instruction in the same way as the males. The Holy Prophet was fully cognizant of the need of Muslim society. He had, therefore, in the best interest of the Ummah, endeavored to create a new leadership amongst women, which, like its counterpart amongst men could, by precept and example, help the formation of a new type of womanhood representing the teachings of Islam. How could this objective be achieved without first preparing the most perfect specimen of Muslim womanhood. The Holy Prophet allowed some women, belonging to different social groups, having different tastes and tendencies and different intellectual standards to enter his household as his wives and then by his close personal contact, nurture and train their God-given faculties so perfectly in accordance with the teachings of Islam that they could serve as pillars of light not only for the womenfolk of the Islamic commonwealth, but for the whole of womankind. One or two woman could not undertake this heavy responsibility. A whole group was required to meet this need.

Moreover, there is a good deal of difference in the nature of training essential for male and female. Man's life is dominated by social activities, whereas the natural sphere of woman's work is primarily her home. It is the wife alone who shares with the husband even the most secret affairs of life. The Holy Prophet could not prepare the specimen of Islamic womanhood unless he allowed some ladies to enter the innermost chambers of his domestic life. In view of the teachings of Islam, with regard to seclusion of sexes, only the noble wives of the Holy Prophet could be accommodated on this plane and mankind owes a deep debt of gratitude to these noble ladies that they communicated to us most faithfully, the sacred account of the Prophet's private life, which, like his public career, had so many facets and has been made a model pattern for the believers, both men and women. The injunction of the Qur'an: 'Verily in the Apostle of Allah, you have the best example' (33:2) covers not only one aspect of his sacred life, but his whole life . It was with a view to achieving this objective, i.e., the authentic transmission of the Prophet's home life to the people that a few noble ladies were made to enter his house as his wives.

The Qur'anic verse: 'It is not allowed to take wives after this, nor to change them for others (33:52) implies that the Holy Prophet, like all his other acts, contacted those marriages perfectly in accordance with the will of the Lord. There was a divine purpose behind them and when it was achieved, a restriction was place upon him.

That the Prophet married these ladies as a religious necessity can well be judged from the fact that he spent his youth in the company of one wife, Khadijah only. At the age of forty he was commissioned as a Prophet, and during the first twelve years of his prophethood, when he had only to instil in the minds of the people the fundamentals of faith, i.e., Oneness of God, apostlehood of Muhammad, life after death, he did not feel the necessity of marrying any other lady. After the death of Khadijah, he married Sawda, a widow of advanced age. But with the migration to Medina when Islamic society was established, the Muslims were required to conform their social and personal behaviour to the teachings of Islam, revelations for practical guidance in all walks of life came from Allah. These had to be explained by the life example of the holy Prophet. There was not one problem, but numerous problems concerning all phases of life that needed solving at every step. How the holy Prophet solved them must be made known to the people as it is also an integral part of the faith for 'he does not speak of his own desire' (Qur'an 53:3) It is God who speaks through him in whatever he utters by way of spiritual guidance or practical legislation. Now, whatever the Holy Prophet said or did in public could easily be conveyed to the other people for their guidance. But what about his private life which was equally important and divinely inspired and had to serve as an example for the Believers? It is through the noble wives of the holy Prophet that the Muslims learnt the teachings of Islam in their personal concerns. It was not an ordinary work, but an important task of vast magnitude which was admirably accomplished by these pious ladies. (Allah be pleased with them). How can these facts be justifiably ignored in the matter of Muhammad's marriages?

It is strange indeed that the western critics of Islam and of the holy Prophet in their sordid endeavors to malign Muhammad (peace be upon him) close their eyes to all those illuminating facts which prove that his was a life of perfect sublimity and single-minded devotion to Allah, absolutely free from the taint of base desires. It is narrated on the authority of Jabir b. 'Abd Allah that Abu Jahl and some of the chiefs of the Quraysh approached the holy Prophet and said:

" If you are anxious for leadership, we are prepared to declare you our leader, if you need riches, we would collect for you an enormous amount of wealth that will suffice not only for you but even for your descendants; if you are impelled by sexual urge, you may choose ten beautiful damsels out of the whole tribe of Quraysh. The holy Prophet kept silent and did not utter a word. When their talks concluded, the holy Prophet recited the following verse of the Qur'an:

Ha Mim! A revelation from the Beneficent, the Merciful; A Book of which the verses are made plain, an Arabic Qur'an for people who know and the bearer of glad tidings and a warner: Yet most of them turn aside so that they hearken not. [Qur'an 41:4-4]

The holy Prophet recited these verses of the Qur'an and concluded them with the following verse:

Then if they still turn away, say thou: I warn you of calamity of the 'Ad and Thamud. [Qur'an 51: 13]

Even this single event is enough to prove Muhammad's immense love for Allah, his devotion to his sacred mission and the insignificance in his eyes the worldly pleasures. Allurement could not distract him, even for a moment, form the noble cause for which he stood and suffered all kinds of hardships and privations. No opportunity could be more attractive than that this offered by the chiefs of Quraysh for the satisfaction of sensuous pleasures, if he were so inclined."



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Appendix B

Excerpt from: "Introduction to Islam" by Dr. M. Hamidullah

402. It is true that Islam permits polygamy, but on this point Muslim law is more elastic and more in harmony with the requirements of society than the other systems of law which do not permit polygamy in any case. Supposing there is a case in which a woman has young children, and falls chronically ill, becoming incapable of doing the household work. The husband has no means of employing a maid-servant for the purpose, not to speak of the natural requirements of conjugal life. Supposing also that the sick woman gives her consent to her husband to take a second wife, and that a woman is found who agrees to marry the individual in question. Western law would rather permit immorality than a legal marriage to bring happiness to this afflicted home.

403. In fact, Muslim law is nearer to reason. For, it admits polygamy when a woman herself consents to such a kind of life. The law does not impose polygamy, but only permits it in certain cases. We have just remarked that it depends solely on the agreement of the woman. This is true of the first wife as well as the second one in prospect. It goes without saying that the second woman may refuse to marry a man who has already one wife; we have seen that no one can force a woman to enter into a marriage tie without her own consent. If the woman agrees to be a "co-wife" it is not the law which should be considered as cruel and unjust with regard to women and as favouring only men. As to the first wife, the act of polygamy depends on her. For, at the time of her marriage, she may demand the acceptance and insertion, in the document of the nuptial contract, or the clause that her husband would practise monogamy. Such a condition is as valid as any other condition of a legal contract. If a woman does not want to utilize this right of hers, it is not legislation which would oblige her to do that. We have just spoken of exceptional cases; and the law must have possible remedies. Polygamy is not the rule, but an exception; and this exception has multifarious advantages, social as well as other - the details would be burdensome here - and Islamic law need not be shy of this elasticity.

404. In the religious law of antiquity, there is no restriction to the number of wives a man may have. All the Biblical prophets were polygamous. Even in Christianity which has become synonymous with monogamy, Jesus Christ himself never uttered a word against polygamy; on the other hand, there are eminent Christian theologians, like Luther, Malanchthon, Bucer, etc., who would not hesitate to deduce the legality of polygamy from the parable of the virgins spoken of in the Gospel of Matthew (25:1-12) for Jesus Christ envisages there the possibility of the marriage of one man with as many as ten girls simultaneously. If the Christians do not want to profit by the permissions (which the founder of their religion seems to have given them), the law is not changed for all that. This is true of the Muslims also, whose law is moreover the only one in history which expressly limits the maximum permissible number of polygamous wives. (For Christian theory and practice, as well as for general discussion, cf. also Encyclopedia Britannica, under the articles, Marriage, and Polygamy; Westermarck, History of Human Marriage, 3 Vols.)

***

In a delightful report about how Imam Abu Hanifah received his name (his original name was Numan bin Thaabit bin Zuta bin Mah), an account of why the wife is forbidden to take more than one husband is recounted. 'Abu Hanifah' is an unusual name because it means 'the father of Hanifah', and Hanifah was his daughter. It was not the custom in those days to do this. Normally, the name would be 'the father of the name of a son.'How this came about is quite edifying. One day the great Imam Abu Hanifah was asked a question that, for the first time in his illustrious career, he was unable to answer. The question was, "Why were women forbidden to marry more than one husband at a time?" To make a long story short, Abu Hanifah's daughter said that she knew the answer and would solve this question if her father would make a promise to her that if she succeeded in solving this problem, he would then assure her a place in history. Abu Hanifah agreed. So she gathered a group of women together and gave each of them a cup. Then she brought in a large bowl of milk and asked each of them to dip their cups in the milk and to fill their cups. They did so. She then asked them to pour back the milk into the bowl. They did this too. She then asked them to re-fill their cups taking back only their own milk that they had poured into the bowl. This, obviously, was impossible to do. Hanifah had clearly demonstrated the kind of predicament that would be created if a woman had several husbands. With more than one husband, if she were to become pregnant, she would have exceptional difficulties determining who the actual father was. Identifying parentage and lineage would then be insurmountable for the offspring. Imam Abu Hanifah was so pleased with her answer that he took the name 'Abu Hanifah', 'the father of Hanifah', so his daughter did indeed earn a place in history.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Appendix C
This is a grammatically edited excerpt from the chapter 'Adab an-Nikah' from Imam Ghazzali's 'Ihya Ulum-id-din' translated by Fazlul-Karim. Also blended with this translation is an excerpt from 'The Proper Conduct of Marriage in Islam' and this is a translation of the same chapter by Muhtar Holland.

Benefits of marriage

There are five benefits: (1) to beget children, (2) to control sexual urges, (3) to obtain peace of mind, (4) to increase divine service, and (5) to gain rewards for duties to family. [Item (4) and (5) are not dealt with in this Appendix.]

(1) To beget children. This is the main purpose for marriage. The aim is to engender and preserve the human race. Four objectives are accomplished through procreation: - (i) to increase mankind (ii) Islam is propagated by increasing the number of followers of the Prophet, p.b.u.h. (iii) parents will hope to leave behind children who will pray for them (iv) and if a child dies before the parents, the prayers of the child in Paradise will be very beneficial for the parents.

The first objective is very subtle and not easily comprehended by man. It is a natural truth and the following is its proof. Take for example a landowner who has generously given a servant a large amount of seed and the tools for cultivation, and who has also given this servant land for cultivation. Now if the servant refuses to till this land and instead allows it to remain uncultivated, useless and dormant, and furthermore, if he also carelessly destroys the seeds, it is clear then that this servant will become an object of wrath by the landowner. Similarly God has created man and woman with the wherewithal to produce and raise children. The uterus is the fertile field and both the male and female organs are the tools for cultivation. He also created sexual passion in both the male and female for the bearing of children through the use of these organs. This is proof of God's design. The Prophet has clearly substantiated this when he said "Marry and keep a family". He who does not marry, destroys these seeds and allows these tools to lie useless and dormant and he thereby goes against God's wishes. Infanticide has also been prohibited by God for this reason.

From Muhtar Holland's Translation: [Pages 17 & 18 ]

If the sole motive for marriage were to ward off lust, the plague-stricken Mu'adh would hardly have cried: "Find me a wife, lest I meet Allah as a celibate!" You might perhaps object: "Surely Mu'adh had no expectation of children at that moment, so how do you explain his desire for marriage?" but to this I would reply as follows: The child is produced by sexual intercourse. Intercourse is brought about by the prompting of sexual appetite, which is an involuntary impulse. The only voluntary contribution a man can make is to procure the stimulus to sexual desire, and this can normally be anticipated. One who has contracted a marriage has therefore performed his duty and done what he had to do; the rest is beyond his own volition.

That is why marriage is recommended even for the impotent, for the stirring of desire is hidden and not susceptible to observation. Indeed, the recommendation to marry extends even to the totally castrated person who can never expect children, in much the same way as a bald man is recommended to pass the razor across his pate as others do (on Pilgrimage), following the example of the righteous ancestors. In the same vein, the practices known as ramal and idtiba are still recommended during the Pilgrimage. The original purpose of these was to demonstrate stamina in the face of the unbelievers, the imitation of this display of fortitude became the model conduct for later generations.

Such are the considerations in forming their severe disapproval of abstinence from marriage, even in cases were sexual appetite is enfeebled. [end of Muhtar Holland's translation]

(2) The second benefit of marriage

The second benefit of marriage is to be safe from the machinations of the devil and to satisfy lust and hence protect the private parts. The Prophet said: "If a man marries, half of his religion is saved. Fear God for the remaining half." The Prophet said: "Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry, and whoever is not able to marry, is recommended to fast, for fasting diminishes his sexual power." The pleasure which lies within sexual intercourse is an example of happiness in the afterlife. There is no benefit derived from a thing in which there is no pleasure.

(3) The third benefit of marriage

Marriage brings peace of mind as love grows between the couple. Peace of mind is necessary for divine service. God says: "It is He Who has created you from a single person, and He has created from him his wife, in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her." Hazrat Ali said: "Give peace to the mind because it becomes blind when it becomes disturbed." There is a Hadith which says that there are three special times for a wise man: - he speaks secretly with his Lord at one time, he takes account of his actions at another time, and he occupies himself with food and drink at another time. In another narration, a wise man is not desirous except in three matters: to earn his livelihood for the next world, to earn his livelihood for this world, and to taste the pleasure of lawful things. The Prophet said: "There is effort in every action and there is struggle in every effort. He who adopts struggle goes towards my Sunnah and guidance. The Prophet said: Upon complaint to Gabriel about the lessening of my sexual passion, he advised me to take Harisah. The Prophet said: Three things are dear to me among earthly matters - perfume, woman and prayer, the latter is coolness to my eyes. This comfort is necessary for peace of mind.

From Muhtar Holland's translation: [Pages 20-22 . . . Conclusion]

He who obeys his master out of the desire to please Him is not the same as one who obeys merely in quest of deliverance from the perils of this agency.

Passion and procreation are both divinely ordained, and there is a link between the two. It would be wrong to say that the purpose is pleasure and the child is a necessary by-product (as, for instance, relieving oneself is a necessary consequence of eating, but not an end in itself.) No, the begetting of children is the aim of nature and the divine Wisdom, while sexual appetite is merely an incentive thereto.

By my life, there is in sexual appetite yet another dispensation, apart from the impetus to procreate, namely the joy experienced in satisfying it. If only that delight were lasting, it would be unparalleled by any other joy. It gives a foretaste of the delights we are promised in Paradise, for the prospect of a bliss we had never tasted would fail to impress. The prospect of sexual intercourse would hardly stimulate the impotent, nor would the pleasures of kingship and dominion serve to excite the interest of the very young. One advantage of worldly pleasures is that the hope of enjoying them permanently in Paradise can act as a spur to the worship of Allah.

Consider this Wisdom, this Mercy, this divine Providence! See how two lives derive benefit through this one appetite: an outer life and an inner life. The outer life is the life a man leads through the continuance of his line, which constitutes a kind of survival, while the inner life is the Otherworldly life. The bliss [of sexual satisfaction], deficient because it is so ephemeral, thus stimulates a desire for perfect bliss, for bliss everlasting, and serves as an incentive to the worship which lead to its attainment. Desiring this so ardently, the creature finds it easier to persevere in the course that will bring him to such felicity in Paradise.

Relaxation and recreation for the soul [pg. 27 Muhtar Holland's Translation]

This [third benefit of marriage] is obtained by enjoying the company and sight of one's wife, and by shared amusement, whereby the heart is refreshed and strengthened in worship; for the lower self (nafs) is prone to boredom and inclined to shun duty as something unnatural to it. If constrained to persevere in something repugnant, it jibes and backs away, whereas if revived occasionally by pleasures it acquires new strength and vigor. In familiarity with women, one finds the relaxation to banish cares and to refresh the heart.

The souls of the pious need legitimate recreation, which is why the Exalted One said:

"That he may rest with her." [Qur'an 7:189]

[end of Muhtar Holland's translation]

Sexual etiquette in marriage

At the beginning of sexual intercourse, pronounce the name of God by reciting "Bismillah" and recite the Takbir and Tahlil after Chapter Ikhlas and say 'O God, if Thou takest out semen from my back, make it a good issue.' The Prophet said: 'In the name of Allah. O Allah! Protect us from Satan and also protect what you bestow upon us (i.e. the coming offspring) from Satan, and if it is destined that they should have a child then, Satan will never be able to harm that offspring." The result is that the devil will not be able to injure a child that is born from this intercourse.

Don't face the Ka'bah at the time of intercourse and cover your body and the body of your wife. The Prophet used to cover his head, close his mouth and say to his wife, 'Take peace.' There is a Hadith which says: When anyone of you comes to his wife, let him not fall suddenly upon her, but let him speak words of love to her and then kiss each other. The Prophet said: Let none of you fall suddenly upon his wife like a lower animal. Let him send the Envoy before cohabitation. Someone asked 'What is the Envoy O Prophet?' He said, 'kisses and words of love.' The Prophet said: In three matters, the weakness of a male is disclosed. Firstly if a lover meets his beloved, and then they separate without enquiring into their mutual condition and health; secondly, rejecting the honour which someone wishes to pay him [i.e., by rejecting a gift which was offered]; thirdly to engage in sexual intercourse with the wife or the female who is legally permitted, without talking to her or kissing her or by being unable to restrain the ejaculation of semen before that of his wife.

It is not commendable to cohabit with the wife on the first, middle and last days of the lunar month. It is commendable to cohabit on a Friday evening. After ejaculation, the husband should let his body lay some time upon his wife until she climaxes, as she is slower to climax. It is painful for her to be separated from her husband once her sexual passion has been aroused.

A young husband should enjoy sexual intercourse with his wife once every four days. To preserve the character of the wife, this may be increased or decreased. Sexual intercourse with the wife at the time of her menstruation is unlawful. However, it is lawful to enjoy her without sexual intercourse e.g. enjoy the region beneath the petticoat, or if there be such a need, even use the wife's hand for his ejaculation and stop short of actual copulation [in Arabic terminology, this is known as jima' bil yad, which means 'intercourse by hand.'] God says: "Your wives are a tilth unto you; so go to your tilth when and how you will." A man may keep company with his wife during her menstrual period for eating, resting/sleeping [without copulation] or other purposes. He is not obliged to avoid her.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Appendix D
An excerpt from "Introduction to Islam" by Dr. M. Hamidullah

108. Speaking of a strictly temporal act, such as a tax or a war, one pays taxes to the government. It should not be astonishing that Islam considers this act as one of the five basic elements of Faith, as important as belief, worship, fasting and pilgrimage! The significance is deep: One unites the spiritual and the temporal in a single whole, and one pays the tax not as a corvee or even as a social duty, but solely for the sake of God. When this duty of paying taxes becomes fixed in the mind as something sacred, a duty unto God from Whom nothing can be concealed and Who is, moreover, capable of resuscitating us and demanding our account, one can easily understand with what care and scruple a believer will pay his dues in the performance of this obligation. Similarly, ware is forbidden in Islam except in the way of God; and it is not difficult to understand that such a soldier is more apt to be humane and will not seek any earthly gain in the course of risking his life. By spiritualizing the temporal duties, Islam has had no other motives but strengthening the spiritual side of man, who in, this manner, far from seeking the material advantage of the material thing, aspires thereby to obtain only the pleasure of God. The Prophet has said: Ostentation is a sort of polytheism (shirk); and the reason as explained by Al-Ghazzali, is the following: if somebody worships or fasts for ostentation, it is shirk (polytheism), a worship of one's self, not of God Almighty; on the contrary, if one even cohabits with one's own wife - not for the carnal pleasure, but for performing the duty imposed by God, then that is an act of piety and devotion, meriting the pleasure of and reward from God, as the Prophet has observed (cf. Ibn Hanbal, V, 154, 167, 187, etc.)



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Endnotes

1. p.b.u.h. is the short form for "peace be upon him" which is an expression used by Muslims to indicate reverence towards the holy Prophet Muhammad.

2. The tomb of the Prophet Zakariya alaihi-salam (may Allah be pleased with him), is located in the great Omayyad Mosque in Aleppo which is a city in northern Syria.. Click here to see a picture of this mosque.

3. From "The Sayings of Muhammad" by Allama Sir Abdullah Al-Mamun Al-Suhrawardy, pg 41. Charles E. Tuttle Company, Boston 1992.

4. Ibid, pg. 42

5. 'The Proper Conduct of Marriage in Islam' (Chapter Adab-an-Nikah) from Book 12 of Ihya'ulum ad-din by Imam al-Ghazzali. This is an English translation from the original Arabic by Muhtar Hollan

Answer 2

First he must face what he has done and ask to be forgived. Alot of killing happened during the search for Muhammed and Hijra and all was forgiven when people started to see that he was recieving the Quran from God. So he will be forgiven but definitly needs some truth some faith and a friends strength til he can find his once again.

Answer 3

Is he Muslim? They have many wives so they have NO respect for women, so in a way, that wouldn't be adultery......however....is the person he committed this sin with of the opposite sex or of the same sex? If he had sex with another male, he is definitely going to HELL in a hand basket. He will NOT pass Mecca, he will NOT meet Allah, he will NOT get 72 Virgins, he will go straight to Hades and burn and be beheaded for all eternity.

Answer 4

Are you trying to be so naive ? You think Muslims never have sex with any other women other than their wife ? What about multiple wives.
If a muslim man is rich, he can marry any woman on the spot just for sex and later give divorce or make them their domestic servants or maids. It is compatible with your religion. Lot of rich Sheikhs do that.
Don't you see people with multiple wives. On the pretext of Islam, they have multiple wives but it is essentially satisfying their lust.
Whereas western men don't have to do that drama; like a women, make friends with her, enjoy with her as long as she or you want. Men do not force upon women without their consent.
I heard that in Islam it is told that all married women have no right to say NO to their husband's sexual demands anytime; its their duty. And that is called suppression of women, treating women like slaves. Try fixing those issues in the society. Ooo!! I slipped off the topic.
So chill man. It's great your friend is a colorful man. God does not judge people by their sexual life; its your deeds that count.

Answer 5

I think this "friend of yours' might really be you ... !

In Christianity, such a sin is forgivable, provided that the person honestly repents and is truly sorry.

If God treats Christians that way, I'm sure He treats everybody else that way too. After all, as the Bible says, He makes the sun shine on everybody.

Answer 6

The only sin that God will not forgive is the sin of not accepting His Son Jesus Christ. If your friend has not done that then he can seek forgiveness but at the judgement He will have to answer for why He didn't accept Jesus and if he has not. He will not go to Heaven.

Answer 7

Yes, God will forgive him for it. The only unforgiveable sin is blaspheming the Holy Spirit.

Answer 8

Being that no one has met god... how can any of us answer this question? Everyone will believe something different. But, if god created people to be imperfect... you would think that he'd be inclined to forgive people... if he expected perfection he wouldn't have invented sin, eh?

Answer 9

yes, if he repented to God and asked for forgiveness from God, if God willed, He will surly forgive him. God said in the Quran that He likes people who repent and ask for forgiveness.

Answer 10

God will forgive any person of any sin all they have to do is ask him for his forgiveness....That is if you are a believer and God lives in your heart then yes he will forgive you.

Answer 11

Yes