How should I approach the situation with out him knowing I know the code to his cell phone?

Question

I secretly went through my man cell phone and saw videos of a birthday party where females were taken their clothes off.

I secretly went through my man cell phone and saw videos of a birthday party where females were taken their clothes off. When I asked him what he did last night he said he just got drunk with his friends and listen to music. He never mentioned the girls. We have been living together for over a year. I don’t have a code on my phone and he is always going through it. I don’t mind because I have nothing to hide.

Answer 1

were you together then? did you know of the party? if yes then ask how it went...other than that you may just want to take mental notes and if something else happens, you need to break-up, if you feel you cannot trust him you are better off w/out him....good luck

Answer 2

To all those who are blaming this girl and calling her a sneak (or worse) you are talking sh!te

she doesnt have a code cos shes got nothing to hide - HE is the one whos a conniving deceitful a$$hole here!! OK so he only FILMED it but still, c'mon who would feel great if they saw similar on a partners phone? Id call you a liar if u said yes.....

they are living together ffs and if thats whats going on now how can there be trust? if he was upfront then he'd have no need to be sneaky.

Ive been through this cr@p twice and the trust just evaporates - ive been on both sides of this fence as ive snooped and also been sneaky myself. Both are wrong and i only realised by hurting the other person by telling them i snooped and being hurt myself with what i found. Its a lesson I learned the hard way. It sounds as if you are both as sneaky as each other and need to talk or move on.......

its the fact he wasnt upfront that is the issue here NOT the snooping or secrecy - and why should she not go thru his phone if he can go thru her when he wants?

Snooping and being secretive are both wrong. There is no trust in the world between anyone thesedays esp where technology is concerned :-/

Answer 3

You will never be able to get past the point in the conversation where you try to explain that you're not a sneaky, shrewish, conniving, control-freak mental case hag b*tch with SERIOUS ISSUES and arrive at what you want to talk about, the fact that he has not yet been 100% castrated by you into some kind of p-whipped fruit who worships you like you are some kind of a god and spends ALL DAY watching you shop in some stupid overpriced store and then has to pay the bill.

No, don't let on that you're a nutjob. Instead, watch the video again and take notes - learn some pointers. Then put on a show for your man, with some of your women friends, to make it up to him. Practice on bananas and large sausages, and try to suppress the gag reflex, if you know what I mean.

If you want to keep him, then give him what he wants. And stop whining here.

Worry about what's going into your mouth, not coming out of it.

Answer 4

If it was a friends b-day party and some girls were taking their shirts off, who cares. As long as all he was doing was taping the entertainment. Girls do it at beaches, bars, parties, and everywhere in between. Obviously, you don't trust him or you wouldn't be snooping around on his phone. Apparently, he has a reason to put a code on the phone.......to keep you out. I would tell him so he can see what kind of person he's with and get out quick.

Answer 5

Never give up your upper hand on knowledge. Did you see him doing anything with these women? I know it bothers you but if you tell him you have the code it will change and you will still wonder what is going on and not be able to find out. I suggest you put a code on your phone first and let him get a little taste of the unknown. See how his likes being locked out of an area in your life....

Answer 6

Ok listen up chickie....a stag or bachelor party where women take their clothes off is a normal thing guys experince all thru their lives. If it bothers you then you are screwed with whatever man you end up with....we all do it...get over it. Also, whats not normal is a person that goes thru your personal stuff....ie: cell phone.....why don't you tell him what you saw? You know you want to ......it would be best if he knew and got rid of you now as opposed to later....and it will happen eventually cause you can't help yourself.....

Answer 7

wow...that is total invasion of privacy...you have guts. If I were you, I wouldn't say anything about it cause he is going to get pissed and probably break up with you over it. There is a line, and I think you totally jumped a few yards past it. There is a little thing called trust in a relationship, and apparently you don't trust him because you went thru is cell phone. You may want to re-evaluate how you feel about the relationship before you go any further.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Hello! He is a guy, you have some issues of trust , I suggest you stop the sneaking because that is usually what pushes a man to care less and less about your betraying bottom. Please if you care about him be upfront and say I screwed up and you do your thing because I am great and either you know that or you don't but never feel threatened by tatas being shaken around your man, if you got it and know it then embrace it and be free from these trust issues!!

Answer 9

Don't say nothing is not worth to have a discution for something already happen, just for you to know he is doing things behind your back, the question is you want to put up with this dude and who knows what else?

Answer 10

Dam that most have been a cheap code, How did you figure it out.

Back to the subject, I don't think you should tell him, unless you consider that cheating.