Why do I cheat on my boyfriend that I feel I love???

Question

We've been together for years and I know I love him and yet I still cheat on him? Why am I this way? How do I stop? He does not know

We've been together for 5 years and I always fail to be faithful when the oppr. approaches. I do love him, and care for him which is why I want to stop. He does not know I am like this. I dont really trust him , although I feel as if hes never cheated on me. He screws up in other ways as in lying. I need more attention from him and I need him to let me know im pretty not for everyone else to tell me. When Im at work everyone gives me compliments when im at home nothing.. help please!!

Answer 1

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You have a difficult situation here; and I'm glad for you that you WANT to solve your problem.

First become aware of the truth that the BRAIN is the biggest sex organ. Your brain decides what you will and won't do sexually.

The facts are, you've been with this guy a long time...I would suggest that you do LOVE him, but need to begin to love yourself more, and become more trustworthy, as a person.

That you cheat has only to do with LUST.

Maybe you need to look at the "difference"; and how to handle things better.

Realize that PART of Love can be lust... but wait! >there's much more. LOVE includes elements of being BEST FRIENDS, SHARING, CARING, TRUST, and COMPANIONSHIP, FAIRNESS and balance, and LUST.

You may Love your guy somewhat, but not entirely. .. you are slacking in the "trust" element. Maybe the problem is the old (evil demon) PRIDE, and one or both of you just don't do sexy things with him to keep the attraction and the LUST alive between you too. If this is so IM SURE he's missing it too. This happens OFTEN in long term relationships.

Don't you know that way less effort in flirting, touches, smiles, and compliments will revive the lust with him? AND you'll both be happier and more "content" when your efforts toward him begin to revive the sexual interest to it's highest again.

It takes time and effort to cheat. Put that time and effort into your presnet relationship, and get the rewards that won't feel so "empty" when the intercourse is finished. Instead it will feel really great...
you will have all the love you alread have, plus the elements missing, which are hightened lust and "earned" trust.

btw...you asked "how do I stop?" cheating? Since when is a person controlled by their genitals? You do what you want to do, and you don't do what you don't want to do.
How does anyone abstain...
how does a spouse abstain when their mate is ill
how does a spouse abstain when their mate is overseas
how does anyone make the decision to be LOYAL?
It's NOT between your legs, my dear, it is in your head.
That urge between your legs can be self manipulated for relief BEFORE you go out to get into temptation.
Join the largest part of the human race in disiplining your own actions, with mind over
genitals.

I wish you LOVE
stw
.

Answer 2

Personally I have been cheated on alot, if you really love him let him go cause if he were to catch you trust me he will never look at you the same even if he was to forgive you there would always be doubts in his head. You need to tell him or break up with him and I know this is hard to do but trust me it is better that he die this little death from you then walk in and deal with the agony he would have to endure if he caught you in the act. If you loved him you would not cheat to be honest but if you love him as you say and know you cannot stop cheating let him go. It is great you wanna stop but the first thing you need to do is let him know it will get all that guilt off of your shoulders despite how much it will hurt him better to hear it from you then catch you doing it or worse have someone else tell him. The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one.

Answer 3

You have to ask yourself what you get out of the cheating. If it's because getting attention and being desirable to other people makes you feel good, or more confident, or gives you that "I can have anyone I want" attitude, than it's probably a self esteem issue. If you do it because you are bored, than you might need to find little "games" to play with your man to spice it up, there are entire stores dedicated to just that! If you just like the idea of someone "new" than see if he would be willing to check out the swinger scene. If you really don't have a good reason (at least in your head), or can't honestly say that it's for any of the reasons I mentioned, then maybe you have some kind of chemical imbalance, like depression or nymphomania. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

you cheat because

a - you don't love your boyfriend as much as you think you do

b - you have self esteem issues that can only be conquered temporarily when you feel you are attracted to someone else

c - you are a selfish person and you don't care if he finds out and is hurt

d - all of the above

Whatever your reasons are, you aren't treating him fairly. How would you feel if he did that to you? Would that be okay? If so, then carry on. If not, then you need some help, and I'd let him go while you pulled yourself together.

Answer 5

You think you love him but you don't. If you did you would not even consider cheating. What you are is comfortable. You know you have someone there to always fall back on when things don't go right. My exwife was the same way. She didn't love me and cheated but didn't leave for 5yrs because she knew I was there and paid the bills and took care of things and there was a comfort level at home. Security

Answer 6

Well a lot of times what happens is that you are with someone so long that you think you love them, but in all reality you are just used to them being around you all the time. If you are cheating then it is apparent that you aren't happy with him in some ways. If I were you I would try the single life for a while and then make you decision about whether you love him or not after that.

Answer 7

I usually try to answer questions nicely, but I can't do that for you.
Why do you cheat? Because you are selfish.
Why are you this way? Because you are human, and all humans sin. Also because you like the thrill of cheating, he could find out at any moment.
How do you stop? Just stop. There is not a helpline for people who are promiscuous. But there is a helpline for people who get an STD from having sex. Also, people who have herpes can pass it on when they don't have any open wounds.
Also, condoms don't protect you from AIDS. Did you know that?
The holes in a condom are at 5 microns, the AIDS virus is only .1 microns.
Congratulations on endangering your boyfriend.

Answer 8

See a therapist and figure out what need is being fulfilled by cheating.

Do you need it to feel attractive? Do you need it because he doesn't satisfy you? Do you do it when you're angry at him?

Once you figure this out, try to fix it within the relationship. If you cannot, then just move on before you destroy the poor man. It is a horrible, depressing, painful, shaming, debilitating, depressive wound on the soul to learn that your lover is a cheater.

Answer 9

There is something that youre getting from other people that youre not getting from him...attention? the way someone else makes you feel? The touch? but at the same time deep down you feel like if you leave him youre losing something good and you'll never get it back..i caught myself from continually doing it when i slipped up once.

Answer 10

You love your boyfriend and you need him but you just have to take your pants off to other guys. Your going to have to decide if he is worth you sustaining from spreading your legs all the time with other guys or just let him go to keep him from agony. And he will find out sooner or later and then you will have some real consequences to face