Is this person genuine?

Question

dsnmstis
Level 1
Is this guy Genuine?
ok so we were friends. he was younger to me, i was married, he used to listen to me and was sensitive to my problems. my husband didnt like it though i used to explain to my husband that we are friends and later on he was fine. one day he said he is getting married and he wont be talking to me and i cried..he weaned away from me and finally he deleted me(he said he went away bec there were problems)and he had joked abt sex wtih me so i called him a player and he said u used me as emotional dumpyard. and we had terrible fight with abuses etc. we stopped talking for one year. he returned after an year and apologized. but he returned only when he knew that i was very angry and he got scared that i might screw him. he came explaining hsi scenario. he never wanted to be my friend but he said he cared. and care should be built step by step. right now i m trying to remove the bitterness.

i was reluctant but then he worked a lot on getting us together as freinds..said friendship need not be broken. and we used to talk almost daily ..though casual stuff. he seemed pretty friendly. one day he deleted me.

i wonder what was going on.

pls dont give me replies like"oh u r married why do u care..if anyone can help me reach conclusion as to what must have gone wrong..would be enuff.


thanks.

Answer 1

his wife probably saw the mails or whatever u sent each other... and asked that he stop if he really wants her

or .. he was bored when he was trying to be friends with you again... and now he's got stuff to do!

Answer 2

I'm confused. He said that he never wanted to be your friend but that he cared?

The best way to find out what really happened is to ask him. But if you really want to guess, it could be that when he married, the new wife didn't appreciate his getting together with you. You felt like the two of you were just friends, but he joked about sex with you, so the boundary may not have been so clear to him.

You don't want to hear it, but it seems very inappropriate for you to spend such emotional energy on this guy whom you are not married to. Why such crying and emotion when he told you he couldn't spend time with you anymore? Why such bitterness now?

You should set better boundaries for yourself. For example, you shouldn't need to go to an outside male friend to share your problems. Share those problems with your husband or a good girlfriend. He may have seen your leaning on him for support as meaning more than you intended for it to mean. You opened the door enough to let him joke about sex with you. You should have let him know immediately that that was completely inappropriate.

You need to think more in tems of protecting your marriage. You believe your feelings for this guy were "innocent" but the way you are expressing yourself reveals that you aren't being quite honest with yourself and you were walking a very thin line that could easily lead to ruining your marriage. Let this guy go. Consider this door closed. Turn your attention to loving your husband and enjoying and happy life with him.

Answer 3

It sounds like you got played real hard and that this guy had issues. At the time it might have seemed like an escape and a listening ear but I don't think that guy was really genuine in his feelings and what his goal was. I don't think I would let it his actions control your life. There are alot of good entertaining listeners out there to communicate with that wont as you call delete you in a childish way

Answer 4

He got bored. Just like the guy with my ex-wife. Destroyed my whole life that jerk.

Answer 5

You don't make any sense

Answer 6

What?