do you think that we should have separate seating for families with young children?

Question

On more than one occasion I have been disturbed by children crawling around, yelling, and making a ruckus inside a restaurant. Parents seldom discipline their children anyway, and let them do as they please. It seems fair that those of us who don't have children should be allowed to enjoy the meal with few distractions. Am I being unreasonable?

Answer 1

I've asked for "non-smoking, and would prefer to be away from children if possible" because of not wanting to deal with kids. (Nice school-aged kids in chairs are OK. Toddlers and smaller ones scare me. Anything that should be on a leash and isn't INFURIATES me.)
When children are completely out of line, I ask my server to please send the manager over to my table, then ask her/him to re-seat me at a quieter booth or to deal with the noise issue. This takes the server (who generally doesn't have much clout and who lives on tips, let's face it) off the hook.
It also reminds the manager that my DINK (double income, no kids) household _could_ decide to eat elsewhere in future if the dining experience continues to be unenjoyable....It's a little hard for Clueless Parents to continue being clueless when they're informed that other restaurant patrons have complained about the NotSoDarling Offspring.

Answer 2

Not only do I think separate area a good idea, I would insist that the parents must sit in seats which are connected to an electric shock unit. When their children first misbehave and the parent does nothing, then a very mild shock is administered. If the child misbehaves again and the parent does nothing, then a greater shock is applied. The complaint buttons administering the shocks would be in the booths of people without children.
Well, we can dream about justice, can't we? The separate area really doesn't work all that well because usually the children are making such a racket that it carries easily to the area I am sitting, as does the smoke from the smoking section. Fortunately in Florida, we have only non-smoking restaurants, a step in the right direction.
One of the difficulties we have in our society is that parents often bring children which are too young to be out at a restaurant. They respond, "What are we supposed to do with them?" I respond that they should have thought about it before they had the kids, but that doesn't work all that well: people don't like to take responsibility for themselves,much less their bratty kids.
Parents have become as ill-mannered as the immigrants who insist that they have a right to be in the country; I can't tell you how many times I have listened to a brat close to my table carry on under the adoring eyes of the parent. I have no idea why parents believe their child's misbehavior in public is so cute that it has to be shared.
It's even worse when you attempt to speak to the parents directly with a kind request for restraint: maybe it's something of the modern age in which parents see their kids as chattel rather than little people to be guided. Even waiters or managers who suggest polite behavior modification are rebuffed. Generally speaking, I find that the kids emulate the behavior of the parents. Usually the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Somewhere along the line, society decided that it was much healthier to openly express every emotion that emerged just as soon as it could. Frankly, I think that this is a false conclusion, but what can you do? Manners is best taught by example. Maybe we should start a club.

Answer 3

The problem is not the child - it is the parents. I have children and they are not allowed to crawl around or create a disturbance in a restaurant. My children are very active kids but know that their activity needs to be confined to our table and kept at acceptable noise levels to not disturb other restaurant guests. When my children were toddlers and quite young, we usually only visited family restaurants. This allowed the children to learn proper behavior in a restaurant that would be more forgiving of any misbehavior. When special occasions arose and we visited "nicer" restaurants, my kids already new what was expected from them. Today I can be confident that regardless what restaurant i take them to, I can enjoy the experience without being concerned about them disrupting others.
My advice would be avoid family restaurants all together and if possible eat a bit later as most families will eat at "regular" supper hours.

Answer 4

It's not unreasonable, I've been several places all my life and have been totally disgusted by small kids behavior and their too shame and embarrassed parents overlooking the situation. It would be nice if restaurants had a room for parents and kids where everyone in there was just loud and rowdy so others could enjoy their meals in peace. I have a 10 day old daughter and I see how loud her crying can get so I would feel bad if I took her out like to a movie theatre and we disrupted other people's evening. I would get up and calm her then try to come back. Some parents just seem to think that they rule the world and that their kids are made of gold and no one can say anything to them.

Answer 5

Ok, a few years ao, I would have sooo agreed with you. But now that I am a mother....I disagree. When you become a parent, you will understand that it is not always as easy as it seems to the outsider to "discipline" your child. Also, maybe what you deem as worthy of punishment, isn't justified in the eyes of the parent. And, as far as your comment, "parents seldom discipline their children anyway"...how do you know that? You do not live with that family to know that as a fact. Every child has their good days and bad days....you were a child once too, and I guarantee, you were one who was "crawling around, yelling, and making a ruckus inside a restaurant" too. If kids' behavior bothers you so much at restaurants, don't go to family restaurants...you will need to go to more upscale restaurants where parents have found a sitter for the evening.

Answer 6

Yes and no. While you do make a very valid point, and it bothers me as well, if you're going into a family restaurant then there's really nothing that can be done about it (unfortunately). The best way to enjoy a meal would be to go to a more upscale place or to go later at night when children *should* be in bed.

It really is bothersome that those of us who don't have children have to either inconvenience ourselves by going someplace else or deal with other people's children being obnoxious. What needs to change are our societal standards, but you didn't ask about that ;o)

Answer 7

No you aren't being reasonable.

Fact is, restaurants are a public place, and there are no laws put in place that children misbehaving should be banned from public places.

It is a shame however that parents don't discipline their children. I myself have 1 son, when he was having behavioural problems, I didn't take him out. He was disruptive, and I had the common sense not to subject him to other people. Now he has changed, when I take him out, he behaves, or else he gets his favourite video game taken away for awhile, or gets to spend some time alone in his room.

Imagine how much money it would cost for all the restaurants to make individual seating arrangements? Seperate rooms?

If you do not accept that it is a public place, order out, make your own meals at home, to a restaurant that has booths, or go to a hotel.

Answer 8

The problem is that the parents need to introduce their children to restaurants in stages. You don't take young children to a formal eating establishment when their attention spans are not sufficient that they will not get bored and act up. Take them to a fast food place, pizza parlor, or some other eatery that is more geared towards children and family dining. As they get older and are more aware of proper social behavior, then you can take the kids to higher class restaurants. Until then, find a babysitter!

Answer 9

Not unreasonable at all, the way things are going now a lot of resteraunts still have the old smoking section. Put the little bastards in there. I have even gone as far to interupt my dinner and go speak to these parents and they don't like being put on the spot and most times have reigned in their little monsters. There isd a rowing insurgence of people that think like us so maybe if we make enough noise we can do something about it. On the business end some resteraunts are litsening and making these families leave or posting signs telling them their children are not welcome.

Answer 10

i think that if more parents used discipline that there would not be a problem. I don't think that they should have separate seating though. I have two young kids, and you would never even know that they are there. I have never allowed my child to act up in public, nor at home, and for just being two, she is very well behaved. People with kids have just as much right to be there as you do. I do hate to go to a restaurant that has screaming kids, but i just don't go to places that is more likely to have kids... I go to more adult restaurants...