Ok well I promised myself I would never allow myself to be treated this way but anyway heres my problem. I have been dating this guy for several months and I spend alot of time at his house, when he's off work he thinks he has to drink everyday he's off and he'll stay up all night doing it and then just last night I caught him getting money out of my purse (for what I don't know) but I called him on it. I don't want to break it off with him but i'm feeling that would be the best thing because I know that its a waste of time to believe that someone would ever change. So I guess what i'm asking is what should I do?
2006-08-22 05:18:55 · 32 answers · asked by brandymcclain23 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give him the ultimatum, drinking or you. Put it in his court.
2006-08-22 05:27:20 · answer #1 · answered by bassmanjohanson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him and call the police if he threatens you to get a restraining order.
I'm not saying all guys who don't respect women turn violent, but some can.
Someday you will find a wonderful man who respects you and wants to spend time with you making you happy....but you need to get your self-esteem back first.
Steps to self esteem:
1. break up with him, be sad for a few days
2. call friends and get out of the house doing fun things with the girls
3. start to realize what you want in your next relationship
4. do something that makes you feel good and strong (workout, talk it over with someone older, paint...whatever works for you)
5. then when you feel confident that you are a great woman...when you aren't even looking you can meet a great guy (maybe even church or the gym...some very unlikely places).
Be strong.....you are worth more!
2006-08-22 05:29:02 · answer #2 · answered by Alyssa M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you "called him" on getting money from your purse did he tell you what he was doing, honestly? If this is a habit of his to drink then I don't think he will change. Have you talked to him about how you feel, or you really into him that you will help him? I think that if you really care for him then you should take the time to talk to him...let him know what is bothering you. See what he says. Never hurts to talk about your feelings.
2006-08-22 05:34:14 · answer #3 · answered by just me being me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a real winner, there, sweetheart!
Well, you have choices...and life is ALL about choices, isn't it?
You can listen to your heart, listen to your head or listen to us.
First, you broke your promise to yourself.
Here's a quote for you (link, below):
"This above all: to thine own self be true"
Think about that line for a while, okay?
Second, he clearly has a drinking problem and it will lead to health problems in later life.
Third, he steals from you.
This may have been the first time, but I suspect it isn't, and won't be the last.
If a person can freely steal, what else do you think that person is capable of doing?
Lying?
Cheating?
Girl, God gave you a brain.
Use it.
Think.
Now, go and get the hell out of his house and move on with your life.
2006-08-22 05:37:51 · answer #4 · answered by docscholl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first off he shouldnt be taking money from ur purse without ur permission im telling you cause that happened to me too exept maybe worse anyways if he is an acholic i think you dont want a guy like that in your life its gonna be nothin but trouble and sometimes alcoholic ppl become violent and yea ur right ppl cant change but ppl can stop drinking so u canthink about that too b4 braking it off let him know that u would like him to stop drinking or to cut down and if he loves you and wants the relationship to work he will and dont forget to have a long talk about him taking stuff from ur purse hope this helped :)
2006-08-22 05:30:42 · answer #5 · answered by lola 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you havent' talked to him about the drinking, then sit with him and don't complain about it. What I mean is, ask him what is going on, why does he feel the need to drink so much. If you start nagging him about it, he'll throw up his walls and all you'll get is yelling. Tell him your concerned and how this is affecting you. Let him know that you can't live with someone that is drinking this much, that it really scares you. Ask him if he would like to go to counseling with you. Whatever YOU DO, DON'T Nag him about it, because you'll get no where. Good Luck!!
2006-08-22 05:29:05 · answer #6 · answered by Supa M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thinking that he will change that a fantasy that all of us, women,do!! doesn't work like that: or you coope or you avoid! Do you drama in your life? Do you want to go further with a relationship that already start with trust issue?
You do better than that. If the sex is good and you like it, then try to use the sex as long as you can without envolving yourself in this mess relationship...
Just leave him......too much trouble.
2006-08-22 05:31:30 · answer #7 · answered by Adel E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run like the wind! I married a man who use to drink all the time. I thought he would grow out of it but didn't. Things only got worse. Get out while you can.
2006-08-22 05:29:48 · answer #8 · answered by blueyes2001 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Break up with him becuz there is sum 1 way better for u somewhere and his drinking and stealing is gonna get worse if u dont leave
2006-08-22 05:27:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right. It is best that you break it off. Don't stick around to enable his behavior. He needs help. Are you willing to stay with someone who may be in denial about their alcohol abuse? You are worth so much more. Also, ask yourself why you want to stay with him.
2006-08-22 05:54:39 · answer #10 · answered by valentinegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What???? Girl please get rid of this LOSER asap!!! any guy who digs in your purse, especially for money, is not worth it!! That shows such a lack of respect, you dont need someone like that in your life. do yourself a favor and dump him, he will not change. what in the world would make him think it's okay to take your money without your consent???
2006-08-22 05:28:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋