I know this girl back home who wasnt very intelligent. She slept with a married man and got pregnant. He never wanted to be with her and never loved her. He left her while she was pregnant and wasn't there for the birth of the baby. He was only around for a couple months after the baby was born and then left town for a better life away from her. She had lied to him before about being pregnant with his kid. He has told her more than once that he doesn't want anything to do with her or the baby and odesnt love her. She still continues to tell her baby that her daddy loves her. WHY? He even told her he didnt want the girl knocking on his door in 18 years. Why would the mother try to convince the baby he loves her,it is just going to hurt her more when she grows up and understands the situation or trys to contact him and he wants nothing to do with her. THen she is going to be mad at her mom for lying to her.
2006-08-22 05:09:00 · 11 answers · asked by Trouble 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Please dont make comments on his decsions. Or call him names. That is not what I am interesteaded in . My questions is WHY lie to the kid and end up hurting it more later in life
2006-08-22 05:10:10 · update #1
I guarentee that if she shows up on his door in 18 years thinking yeah my daddy loves me and he turns his back on her and wants nothing to do with her it will hurt alot more than her always knowing the truth. Its the same thing when adopting a child if you tell them they are adopted when the are young it ok. but if you wait till they are older then they feel they have been lied to there whold lives. i wouldnt put my kids through that. but then again i wouldnt have slept with a married man and have to put my child through that.
2006-08-22 06:34:06 · update #2
yes he never wanted kids with her just a fling and she made him beleive things and trapped him by getting pregnant and that backfired because he left anyway and now she is calling him a dead beat and not taking any blame for what happened and wants her child to beleive that he loves her and really he doesnt want anything to do with her. as sad as this might sound he really could care less if she lives or dies, to him he has no child. this is all things that he has told the mother....
2006-08-22 10:26:27 · update #3
It is very tragic when women raise their children on lies. If the man says he wants nothing to do with the child and doesnt love it then the only thing the mother can do is believe him, a man can lie about anything in the way he acts, he might act like he loves the baby while he is there but remember that is only an act. No single person in this world can read another persons mind. So in the end you have to beleive what he says. It is not fair to the baby when they grow up thinking their dady loves them, then one day decide that they want to find him, show up on his door and he either act like he has no clue who she/he is or shut the door in their face. I once had a child with this girl and she didnt want me around so she told the baby when it got older that she went to s sperm bank because she really wanted a baby, that way there was no feeling abonndoned or not feeling worthy enough. The sad thins is many women try to trap men with babies these days then blames the dad for leaving and call him a dead beat...is that what happened? thats what it sounds like???
2006-08-22 09:53:54 · answer #1 · answered by ITS_ONLY_ME 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
parents make mistakes. I'm sure she is doing what she thinks is best for her and her child. maybe the mom isn't ready to tell her the mistake that she has made.i dont know if your friends with the family or not but since it seems like you care what happens ,some day the daughter will find out the lies you can be there for them and hope and pray it doesn't tare a family apart cause I'm sure this mom loves her and only want the best and that just might mean protecting her now from the truth.
2006-08-22 05:27:41 · answer #2 · answered by jenna e 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's important for a child to feel loved and also very difficult to discuss certain things with them. Sometimes it's best to wait until their age or intellictually mature. That way they have a better understanding. Ultimately whether the child chooses to accept the truth should and will be their decision. And while some Father's who proclaim this early on and stick to it, some don't. He may be a completely different person by the time she turns 18.
2006-08-22 05:18:07 · answer #3 · answered by ~Mother Of Angels~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the mother is right to tell her that her father loves her, because even if he was only around for a few months, the only person who saw how he treated the child was the mother.
Also, why can't she say he loves her, yeah she might be mad when she gets older, but it is not going to give her the questions of "was i not good enough for my dad?" "did he leave because of me?". She can deal with the fact that yeah he is a dead beat but she does have his family that loves her completely.
Also, when she is 18 it is not up to him and what he wants, it is up to her if she wants to show up on his door step.
2006-08-22 05:45:19 · answer #4 · answered by Princess 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Im a single mom and I surround my little girl with people who do love her, so she wont have the problem of feeling neglected. I dont want her growing up with a complex either way. When she is 18 she can do what she wants too... including being mad at me. As long as there are a group of people that love her shell be ok in the end.
2006-08-22 05:18:17 · answer #5 · answered by maeknits 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a guy I think that the mother shouldn't tell her daughter one thing over another. If the child it still a baby leave it alone until the child is old enough to start asking questions, then I would just tell it that your not sire how the dad feels but what matters is he left and has had nothing to do with them and to forget about him, he is not important. I think she should just consider him a sperm donor and move on and pretend he is dead...
2006-08-22 05:34:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
What would it do to hurt the child by telling her the truth? Who knows what the future holds for her. It's so important for children to have relationships with their dad. To tell a child she is not loved or wanted is a terrible form of child abuse.
2006-08-22 05:17:01 · answer #7 · answered by auld mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
later on down the road this man may decide to connect with this child. i se nothing wrong with the mom letting her child about the dad and i bet the dad does love her even if she wasnt planned . noone knows what the future holds
2006-08-22 05:20:28 · answer #8 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because she doesn't want the child to feel abandoned. I think she has her kid's best interest at heart, she just doesn't want to hurt her feelings.
2006-08-22 05:19:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay YOU tell the kid she is not loved and wanted by her father! And if you can do it, then I tell you what you are. cold and just like the kids father.
and I am not calling anyone names in this deal except you and you are cold.
2006-08-22 05:22:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋