should i care what my husband thinks about my dog?

Question

first of all, my husband isn't mean...he just doesn't want a pet right now. he is currently deployed to the middle east, and i decided it would be a good time for me to get a dog. my friend had one they didn't want anymore(they already have 3 dogs), so i decided to adopt him. he is a 1 1/2 year old yellow lab, named duke(yeah, you guys probably know me by now..i keep asking so many questions about him! hehe). duke is so cute and lovable, i didn't want to see them take him to the pound. my hubby said to wait until he got back and we could discuss getting a dog. well, i begged him over the phone and he gave in. but now every time i talk about duke, he doesn't show interest. should i really care what he thinks? he is worried duke will be attached and protective of me, and show aggression towards him when he returns..that doesn't bother me, i am kinda expecting it, since i am duke's owner. i really love my dog, and right now i am not caring what my husband thinks. is that ok?

i ran out of space above! please read:

duke is my best friend right now(along with my 2 year old son). i let him sit on the couch, sleep in the bed, and basically go everywhere with me when i can get away with it.
my husband has never wanted me to get a dog, because i never had one before..he was afraid i wouldn't know how to take care of one and get overwhelmed.
however, so far(3 weeks) i have been doing everything i can to make duke his happiest. i regularly bathe him, play with him, feed him, water him, everything. i even scheduled a check up for him(even though my friend's recently took him, i want to talk to the vet about certain things since this is my first dog, just to be sure!).
so...should i just disregard what the hubby thinks? i understand that he is deployed..but believe me, he is safe and sound where he is at. we talk everyday, and he just doesn't seem to like the fact that i got a dog. i'm sure he will adjust when he returns..
any advice? thoughts? thanks!

Answer 1

I salute you - For having a husband who is fighting a never-ending battle in the Middle East and you stand by him. I salute you for being strong and being alone, and for facing the fears that one can only imagine that you face.

I salute him, too, for having the strength, courage, and balls to be there. Both of you should be commended.

However, I double salute you for bringing that dog into your life. That dog brings into your life, a love that you can share, with him, your husband, your children, and everyone. He, (duke) is there with you every day and night, though not a substitute for your husband, but as a friend.

Your husband is out there doing what he feels he needs to do. But just because he is fighting a war, doesn't negate your feelings of lonliness.

Keep the dog. Talk to your husband. You can love and have fun with your dog, talk to your dog (he won't tell your secrets). I imagine there are a lot of military wives/husbands who cheat due to the lonliniess. With a dog -- you can love it with all your heart, and, it's my belief that it will only serve to strengthen your relationship with your husband.

Answer 2

I would have advised you not to take the dog when you knew your husband didn't want you to. But now that you have the dog, I wouldn't worry too much that your husband doesn't take a great interest in your new love.

Your husband is correct in saying that this dog may be aggressive toward him when he comes home. (That wouldn't have been a problem had you waited to get a dog when he was there.) That aggression could be minor and easy to handle or it could be serious enough that you will have to get rid of the dog. You can't know until the two get together.

The more change the dog experiences when your husband gets home, the more trouble you are likely to have, so you would be wise to set your dog up with a routine that can carry on after your husband comes home. Don't give Duke more attention now than he will be able to have later. If you don't give Duke too much control over your house or your time, chances are good that he will accept your husband and be a good family dog. Yellow labs tend to be very good natured and flexible.

If you chatter on and on about Duke, your husband probably finds that annoying since he "gave in" over the dog and wasn't really excited in the first place. Instead, just thank him for the dog and tell him that Duke is good company for you and helps you to feel safe while he is gone, and then leave it at that.

Answer 3

I understand. Your husband has other things on his mind. You're lonely. Duke is helping you cope with him being away. You know he gave in, and said adopt Duke. Don't expect him to do anymore. He's halfway around the world.
Right now you're a new parent and your baby is amazing. Everyone gets tired of how wonderful the new baby is. Let your husband come home and let Duke work his magic. As far as Duke being protective, I'm sure as long as your husband treats you with respect, as he should anyway, it won't be a problem. When your husband come home it won't be an easy transition, Duke might be what makes it easier, just don't push the issue and quit worrying about what if. Good luck and I hope he gets home soon.

Answer 4

He's concerned about the dog being protective of you. You kind of answered your own question. He doesn't want Duke biting him every time he tries to touch you. There is this thing where Duke could think he's king of the castle, now there's a power struggle. Hell my wife's dog did that with me and I lived with the punk a** before we were married. You shouldn't get rid of your dog over this. But you need to make sure he knows who's owner and who's pet. And if he's a good dog, your husband will fall in love with him too. If he's your husbands buddy too, win-win situation. Just relax, don't talk about the dog(your man has enough to worry about), and just work on things when you can control them. Until then, just enjoy your pup.

Answer 5

My son-in-law was deployed also, he is home now. I know that his personalty changed while he was there he became Lt. Ser.all business, when he talked he only wanted to talk about what he wanted to hear about. Since dogs are not at the top of your hubby's list, don't worry so much about him excepting the dog. When you write him let him know how more safe you feel now that you have Duke. Remember labs are the best dogs in every way for a family. He will come to except him when he gets back.Wagging tails and dogie kisses for you and your son.

Answer 6

I think you should always care what your husband thinks. A marriage is a partnership. However, you already have the dog and you have chosen a wonderful breed for a friend, companion and protector. I would suggest that you not discuss the dog when you talk with your husband while he is deployed. He knows you have him; that's enough for now! If his concern is that Duke will be aggressive when he returns, that's a valid issue and you need to be sensitive to the way the two of them are introduced to each other. Duke AND your husband will need time to get to know each other. My bet is they will become friends. But please....always care what your husband thinks.

Answer 7

I think it is wonderful that you have found something to provide you with security and comfort. It must be very difficult for you with your husband being away. I would not expect Duke to have a problem with your husband when he returns. Labs are generally good natured dogs, and I expect he will welcome your husband with enthusiasm. Your husband will most likely fall in love with Duke in return. He is not showing interest now because he is so far away from home, but once he is there with Duke, that will probably change.

Answer 8

You should care what your husband thinks about the dog, but dont get rid of Duke. I am thinking of getting a dog for me and my daughter because my husband travels a lot for work. Your husband maybe feeling like mine he is just tired of hearing about it. Explain to your husband that you need compaionship and Duke is making it easier for you while he is gone. Get your husband to understand that you need Duke and it is in no way replacing him, but keeping you happy and safe while he is away. Good Luck and have fun with Duke you are doing a good thing adopting him!

Answer 9

Of coarse you should care what hubby thinks, but you have shown you are a responsible pet owner. The dog will probably adjust fine to your husband. Mine did when My husband returned from Korea. My husband loves dogs. The dog was always my dog though. Guess he was used to women. It worked out fine, hope it does for you too. When your talking to your husband show more interest in HIM than the dog! You can have both of them, just use common sense.

Answer 10

i understand that you love duke, but you married your husband. Don't make it hard for him to come home by having to deal with a possessive dog you haven't trained. There have to be some limits, like maybe the furniture and the bed. Yes, you are his owner, so train him. Just don't forget that you made a vow to your husband and, deployed or not, it's his home too. Train the dog so that when hubby comes home, everyone can be happy.