Help please how to stop my 2yr old hitting me?

Question

my son keeps hitting me 4 no reason an is yelling aswell it has just recently started . i feel like i have no controll over it and need some advice to snap him out of it , before he think its ok to treat me this way help please.

Answer 1

Give him a time-out each time he does it. Just for a minute or so whenever it is possible.
Tell him "Hitting Mommy is not allowed. If you do it again you'll get a time out" When he does it again, take him to his room and put him in. It's okay to close the door if he won't stay in his room. Make sure he stays in his room for at least a minute. 2yo don't understand time outs very good, but if you are consistent for at least 3 days he will learn that when he hits you he gets sent to his room and will most likely stop.
Consistency is the key, and the hardest part. You have to do it each time or it won't work.

Answer 2

We have the same problem. I have a 20 month old who thinks that hitting mommy and trowing thigs is cool. I hit him back. Just a swat on the bottom and then I ground him from the toys he throws for 2 days. Seems to be worrking so far. He hasn't hit in a while and we have less of an issue witht he throwing. You are the grown up and I know everyone thinks that time out is better then the spare the rod spoil the child tachnique but....In my experiance time outs don't work. If the spit at you spint back if they hit you hit them back. Kids need to learn what that stuff feels like so they'll not do it again. If they think that it's going to happen to them they are less likely to do it to you. I know you may think that he is too young to be grounded from things that he may not understand.....trust me he does. he know where momy puts the toys he can't have and goes to the door and tells me " mommy I sorry I not do it". He'll stand there all day cause he thinks he'll get the toy back. When he does get it back (after the 48 hour grounding) he doesn't throw it or hit with it again.

Answer 3

Welcome to terrible twos! You have three non violent options (or a combination):

1. When he is not hitting you, teach him a gentle behavior and call it "nice touching". Then when he hits you, don't yell or say 'stop', but tell him "nice touching" and try to hug him.
2. Distract him as much as you can in the circumstances. Say something like "let's go look at the trees", or "let's find some bugs", or "let's run around".
3. Ignore him and walk away.

It's also possible that he is frustrated at an inability to communicate. Read as much as possible to him and help him with his language. If he is not talking at all (he should know at least 50 words), contact your local "early intervention" program and they'll work with him for free.

Finally, try to get to the cause. Is he hungry? Cranky? Offer a snack or a nap or a ride in the car (which would probably put him to sleep)

Take comfort in that this behavior usually stops around 3. Good luck!

Answer 4

I have taught two year olds for a number of years and this is normal (though not acceptable) behavior. Time-outs are typically ineffective for this age, and slapping his hands or hitting back are perfect examples of "Do what I say, not what I do." You are correct that you need to act fast to end this before he believes this behavior is acceptable. In my classroom we use a research-based method called Love & Logic. First, try to identify patterns, or times when he will typically hit you. Is it when you've told him to clean up toys? Take a nap? Share? All of the above and then some? Once you identify the pattern, you have a good place to start.

Typically, toddlers will express frustration or disagreement through hitting when they are against some rule or limit you have set. Rather than making the issue about whether he will or will not do as you say, make it about HOW he will do what you say. Instead of "Its clean up time, okay?" (to which he can say NO and hit), make it "Its clean up time. Do you want to pick up the trucks or the blocks? (to which he can answer only trucks or blocks). Phrase it so that he has a CHOICE, which is extremely important to children of this age, but make sure that both choices are acceptable to you.

If he refuses to answer or hits you anyway, tell him that hitting hurts and that hitting is not a choice. Repeat "Your choice is: pick up the trucks or the blocks" (or whatever you've offered him previously). Continue to repeat until he does one or the other. It will be a power struggle, but be consistent! If he continues to hit, remind him that hitting is not a choice and narrow his choice. "You didn't choose, so I will choose for you. We are going to pick up the trucks first. Do you want to pick up the blue trucks or the black ones?" Keep going... you can do it!

Answer 5

Give him a slap on the back of the hand- nothing real hard but enough to get your point across. Don't worry, he won't break. If that doesn't work, turn him over your knee and give him a whack on the behind. Nothing real hard but enough to show who's the boss. Don't be afraid to discipline your kid. If you don't, it will only get worse.
I was a spitter. The only thing that cured me was when I spit on my grandfather once, he spit back! It was quite a shock and I never did it again. I was about 3 at the time & still remember it.
Good luck and have a great day!!!

Answer 6

Punish him by putting him in time out. But first explain to him that it is not OK to hit you or yell at you. If he continues then punish him with time out. If that does not work, take away his favorite item. If that does not work, you might have to try spanking. I am totally against spanking but I know there are some children who need it. Good luck. By the way, when you do put him in time out, use his age for the minutes he stays there, i.e. he is two years old, put him in time out for 2 minutes.

Answer 7

Most kids learn these things from other male role models. Does your husband/boyfriend hit you? If not the only thing I can suggest is to put him in time out. Try standing him in a corner and holding him with his arms behind his back so he is least likely to hit you or himself. Then try and distract his mind by singing a song he knows so that he will calm down. Try saying, " When you calm down, then you can come out of the corner." I have had to do this with my 3 year old and it really works. Remember to be the calm one. I hope this helps you.

Answer 8

The first answer to your question is well put. That is exactly how you should handle it. Also, tell him that your hands are for gentle touches. Remeber, consistency is everything keep doing the same thing when he acts that way and eventually he will understand. It does take time. My 18 month old niece does that right now. She now walks around and says "Nice" when she touches others. Good luck.

Answer 9

~i have 2 year old & this is what i do: get down on my knees & hold his hands in mine. then i tell him NO, hitting hurts. if he smiles & giggles(typical 2 year old behavior) i repeat myself. if he laughs again i take him to his room & put him on his timeout chair. he can't come out until he says he's sorry. good luck & be patient, but don't let him get away with this. he has to learn what NO means.~
*i just read some of the other answers & i can't believe they suggest spanking. what does that teach a child, it's okay for you to hit & its not okay for them to hit. i would not spank for this. i'm not saying i never spanked my kid-if it's really bad then yes. but you can't teach them not to hit by hitting them. take care & god bless!

Answer 10

You have to discipline him. Spank him or back hand him. You may think that's cruel and all, and it seems like that, but your the adult figure. Spare the rod, spoil the child. After that, the child never matures properly and grows up in his teen years thinking he has power over every adult figure.
Which is worse, teaching your kid discipline over some dismal pain or watching him become something he shouldn't? You decide.